Natalie Portman’s Underwear Is A False Idol

Not even a week ago, we saw Courtney Stodden rubbing an ice cream cone all over her topless, cartoon breasts, so I’m not really sure what kind of tantalizing thrill Natalie Portman’s underwear at Cannes will provide. The boob-paste is out of the boob. Then again, I know a bunch of dudes who are still crazy obsessed with Natalie Portman either sexually or through a wanton need to froth Mel Gibson-like rants into her face because she actually has the nerve to sometimes say words about Judaism and/or feminism, the Internet’s most terrifying bogeyman. I’m sorry, bogey-person.

Photos: AKM-GSI, Getty