Natalie Portman Stripping

December 9th, 2010 // 75 Comments

In what couldn’t be a more perfect visual metaphor for today, here’s Natalie Portman stripping for the upcoming issue of New York Times Magazine even though I don’t how they can even call it that considering it’s more like, Here’s Natalie Portman taking off clothes to reveal more clothes underneath. (Yet notice how it didn’t stop me from using it in the headline. Journalism!) In the meantime, don’t let your grandfather see these lest he scolds you for watching hardcore pornography, then tells you to keep watch for your grandmother while he fiddles with this here peepshow box. “Make the dame do the saucy stuff, junior. And be quick about it. I could die at any second. Because I’m ol- Holy Tomoley, look at them gams! Pillbox. Now.

Photos: New York Times Magazine



    Never! ugly nasty skank.

  2. thepinktaco

    Nice pins, though

  3. cj

    as always, she looks like a boy in drag.

  4. Bad wig. She shouldn’t ever borrow anything from Christina Aguilera. Otherwise, I’d be a happy man if I were having intimate relations with Natalie Portman.

  5. Natalie Portman Strip
    Commented on this photo:

    She would kick ass at strip poker.

  6. Actually, I’ve always thought she was hot but … there’s something missing, a deadness to her. Lack of passion. She just doesn’t seem to have that certain something, call it unabashed sluttiness. She’s very nice to look at but somehow I think she’d be a boring assed lay.

  7. Asdasdlinin

    Most beautiful female face ever. Nice legs, hot little perky boobs. If you take that for a boy, then there must be something really wrong with you.

  8. Natalie Portman Strip
    Commented on this photo:

    i don’t know why, but this is the best thing you’ve ever written.

  9. Mortimer Duke

    This could only be sexier if it were someone else.

  10. Natalie Portman Strip
    Commented on this photo:

    Keep going…. please….

  11. Natalie Portman Strip
    Commented on this photo:

    Yea where the fuck is the rest.

  12. dont get it

    so fugly

  13. Cat

    The most beautiful woman in the world.

  14. Dankin

    If you seriously think Natalie Portman is a skank you have issues with women in general. She’s one of the most beautiful women on the planet.

  15. Natalie Portman Strip
    Commented on this photo:

    She needs to quit trying to be sexy. She doesn’t have it.

  16. slapkatyperry


  17. lori

    My God that was boring. She needs to stop trying to be sexy. She’s pretty and bland. It stops there.

  18. jojo

    Whaaaaaaaaa? They cut out the part where she was feeding the 20″ dildo into her V for vagina.

  19. slapkatyperry

    I want to see pictures of my favorite big boobed onion booty, Jennifer Love Hewitt

  20. burton

    shes so boring, granted far more classier than almosr everyone under 35 in hollywood.

  21. Diane

    “Wow that’s a really cool video” (Napoleon Dynamite)

  22. Natalie if you wanna dress up for a comic con just dress up as old role as Princess Lea’s mom.

  23. friendlystoner

    hahaha as if the guys(and lesbians)on here wouldnt hit that given chance, who are they kidding!

  24. guy rossi

    (Sigh) Sorry nerds shes not hot. I’m so tired of people acting like she’s hotter than scarlet johanson. She’s pretty at times I admit, but she has a boyish figure. It’s always kinda nerdy Michael Cera types who go on about her “hotness”

  25. Romulus

    Wondering why no one is getting that it isnt about stripping its a metaphor. It seems like its hinting at the tiredness of trying to be beautiful.

    • probably no one bothered to see the video. anyway it was a lousy presentation as it only showed the tiredness of it in the last few seconds. the rest of it looked like she was taking off a costume in a dull manner. there was no indication of tiredness in the rest of it. and in the photos of it here,there is definitely no indication of it. in fact it seems the opposite of it.

      • qwerty

        Yeah,I kinda get what she was trying to show here,I think (tiredness,exhaustion,defeat?) but I just don’t see it.Love the idea but don’t love the acting

  26. anon

    Portman sitting on a chair, Hasselhoff in drag and Spears sniffing her fingers? MUST BE A SLOW NEWS DAY.

  27. squeakermama

    I think that she is pretty. But she always appears so stiff and uptight. Not sure just how to word it but it’s distracting to her looks.

  28. The only thing that would make this sexier would be if it were Mila Kunis….. This is the start of Natalie’s trying to hard after the movie Black Swan came out and her being undoubtedly overshadowed by Mila’s beauty. You had a good run Nat good luck in the future!

  29. burton

    actually the hottest young thing in hollywood is chloe moretz :)

  30. MoFro

    The whole time I was thinking “God, I hope that’s a wig” so the best part of the video was when it was.

    Wait… wow. This video sucked.

  31. trousers

    Mega Meh is Meh.

    I defended the holyness of her new thong pictures, but this was less exciting than watching my grandma eat the cheese sandwich I made her

  32. Dave

    Total hottie. Natalie is stunning.

  33. The look on her face says it all: FML

  34. Patrick Meighan

    That gave me a sad boner.

  35. Babes in rough land

    I can see this being reenacted in my basement…

  36. wim

    She likes it being raped by americans?

  37. Doc Schweinstrudel

    Her scene in Closer which you can find on your tube was WAY more pro action!

  38. Greg

    Is it me, or does she seem to have more clothes on at the end of the video?

  39. anna

    The point of the video wasn’t to be sexy. I think it was just being tired of it all. Defeat.

  40. Natalie Portman Strip
    Commented on this photo:

    usually I think she is one of the most beautiful women on the planet, but damn, that wig is HORRIBLE! these are the worst pics of her I have ever seen. sorry guys, but no way.

  41. Natalie Portman Strip
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t stop ’til you hit anus.

  42. Natalie Portman Strip
    Stu Gavin
    Commented on this photo:

    She looked better in the blonde wig pics. I must be weird because I think she’s hot precisely because she looks like a boy in drag.

  43. wtf

    I get it Natalie is trying to act tired and exhausted but this was really bad acting!!!!! wasn’t it? I’ve always thought she’s a good actress. the idea of the video is stupid and Natalie’s acting is even worse. she is beautiful though. i have to give her that. amazing bone structure, high cheek bones, plump lips, beautiful eyes, perfect skin, tight little body. she is a 10

    • Danno

      This is bad acting. I really don’t think she has ever lived up to her role in “The Professional” and she 12 yrs old then. She could be really good with the right roles but she’ll never beat Helena Bonham Carter. Sexiest brunette ever. Haven’t seen black swan yet.

  44. herbiefrog

    ok baby… come to bed… : ))


  45. Why

    Are Western women always depicted as strippers in the media? How many women do you see outside who actually think stripping is cool. I thought Natalie Portman went to Harvard. You would think she would be smarter than promoting the image of all women as just dumb sex-toys for men. But I guess not.

  46. Natalie Portman Strip
    Commented on this photo:

    I have always had a crush on np, she has always had my blessing. Not her best shoot but I like it, classic feel.

  47. josh lee

    Natalie beauty is classic , a good actor and intelligent. But, lack wisdom.

  48. st_rick1234

    Hot! That’s probably what got her pregnant. :)

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