Natalie Portman Stripping

In what couldn’t be a more perfect visual metaphor for today, here’s Natalie Portman stripping for the upcoming issue of New York Times Magazine even though I don’t how they can even call it that considering it’s more like, Here’s Natalie Portman taking off clothes to reveal more clothes underneath. (Yet notice how it didn’t stop me from using it in the headline. Journalism!) In the meantime, don’t let your grandfather see these lest he scolds you for watching hardcore pornography, then tells you to keep watch for your grandmother while he fiddles with this here peepshow box. “Make the dame do the saucy stuff, junior. And be quick about it. I could die at any second. Because I’m ol- Holy Tomoley, look at them gams! Pillbox. Now.

Photos: New York Times Magazine