Here’s Why You Saw Natalie Portman Looking Crazy Hot At The Texas/Baylor Game

October 23rd, 2012 // 64 Comments

If you caught the Texas/Baylor game Saturday, you probably found yourself wondering, “Why am I looking at super-stacked Natalie Portman with blonde hair blocking Mama June’s vagina?” Turns out she was in town filming that new Terrence Malick movie where she’s Sookie Stackhouse. And just to keep this post educational, not only did her breasts look awesome, so did her butt because real talk, bros, women are more than just front meat. They’re human beings, with butts. On that note, be sure to scope out Benjamin Thousandfeet watching his wife work with a handsome Irishman with an eight-foot-long cock. Sure, it’s probably really cool in the bedroom, but can it dance The Nutcracker?! (This is the part where I like to picture Centipede pirouetting in the grass while his son yearns for a father who always has rope ready for a tire swing, in his pants.)

Photos: ADTJ/AKM-GSI

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  1. Randalicious

    Thatis one smoking hot little Hebrew princess

    Ermagerd! Berbs!

    • Randal

      It really doesn’t matter where or what miss Portman is wearing or how it is she looks, her natural beauty draws well deserved attention and admiration.

      Her opened jacket creates a pleasing line, revealing the soft texture of lace, silk and skin, wrapped tightly by a leather belt, holding everything firmly in place.

      Randal

  2. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    Commented on this photo:

    I vill keel you, Messieurs F Ass Bender… Believe it!

  3. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    Mr. Poop, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm
    Commented on this photo:

    I would love to be very deep in that thing.

  4. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    T-Rex-esque.

  5. Diet Mountain Dew, Baby

    ZOMFG! Off to watch “The Professional” again.

    Wait…

  6. El Jefe

    What is going on with this site? What is the fucking obsession with men’s penises? Jesus Christ, enough already.

    • Jeckaled

      However feel free to discuss Tit’s, Ass, and Vaja until you get lockjaw.

      If I had a penis, I would slap you with it El Jefe.

  7. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ok, look, he turned his head. Quickly! Open this manhole and climb down the ladder. I will fake a leg cramp, fall on the ground, and you’ll blow me at the bottom. Hurry, my dear.”

  8. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s gonna put an alien in side her.

  9. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “Michael…..stop. He’s not gay….he just has, performance issues.”

  10. Good LORD thus woman has everything going for her: Beautiful, intelligent and …. iI guess she can act too

  11. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Busted, Michael…..busted.

  12. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    neo
    Commented on this photo:

    Now it’s dark…mommy…mommy…don’t you look at me!!

  13. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks so fucking annoyed that she’s dressed like a hot little slut.

  14. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    This must be the biggest collection of tools on a movie set ever.

  15. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s the look of a man who is clearly daydreaming about getting him some good Fassbender!

  16. Gary Grant

    I never thought I would say Natalie Portman and motorboating in the same sentence.

  17. Good idea dress like a whore in a town with a gazillion Baptists.

  18. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks hot but also looks like a cold bitch who would rip a man’s soul apart just for not taking the trash out the way she prefers.

  19. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    guttboy
    Commented on this photo:

    It looks as if he’s “stuffing” in a vain effort to compete.
    It also looks like his level of emotional maturity is just a bit lower than his infant son’s.

  20. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    The only good thing about Michael Bay is if he was directing this movie, these two would be banned from the set.

    (In unrelated news, THIS is the guy who gets to have unprotected sex with Natalie Portman? What’s the world coming to?)

  21. Chelsea

    I can’t believe that I’m bothering to point this out, but Michael Fassbender is Irish, not British.

    • Trek Girl

      Fassbender was born in Germany, but raised in Ireland. He is of German and Irish parentage. Splitting hairs, I know.

    • Kojak

      British is correct term to anyone who is from Wales, Scotland, England or Northern Ireland. They are all british.
      Like a texan is american, or a gaucho is brazilian, or a siberian is russian…
      Also, he is in truth german.
      His father is german and his mother is north-irish, but he is german.
      He born in Germany.
      Far as i know he was raised in Ireland, to where he goes early, but he spoke german in his home during childhood and has lived in London for the last 16 years.

      • He may have grown up speaking German, but when his time comes, I hope you don’t mind if he goes out speaking the King’s.

      • Deb

        He was raised in Kilarney, which is in Southern Ireland. So he is NOT British.

      • bobthebob

        Both German and British nationality law are based on the principle of jus sanguinis (right of blood). They both automaticly grant citizenship to children if either parent was British or German.

        His father is German and his mother is from Northern Ireland which is part of the UK (i.e. British) so he is both British and German.

        He lives in the Republic of Ireland, but unless he nationalized he has no right to Irish Citizenship that I am aware of. Under EU law he has the right to abode anywhere in the EU and doesn’t need citizenship for any particular country.

        How he identifies himself, I don’t know.

  22. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    Bionic_Crouton
    Commented on this photo:

    There is no movie. Terrence Malick just felt like dressing Natalie Portman in tight revealing clothes and parading her around Texas. To that I say “Well Played” and “Thank you”.

  23. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    Commented on this photo:

    THat ass needs some loving

  24. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    moopy
    Commented on this photo:

    IS it just me or are her arms especially short?

  25. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Ms Portman appears to have gone up a cup size. Very nice.

  26. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    anonym
    Commented on this photo:

    high heels and skin tight jeans will do that to a girl.

  27. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    Commented on this photo:

    She must have just told him he can’t have any of that. It would make any man cry.

  28. Mama Pinkus

    This gal has changed since she married that guy – I doubt she will be able to keep up this charade for long.

  29. banner man

    She is great looking and super hot in these pics…but you always seem to get the idea that she dislikes being around..”regular” people.

    She always just looks, annoyed or something..Does she smile outside of actual movies ect.?.

  30. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    Mongo
    Commented on this photo:

    I bet her ass holds the cure for cancer.

  31. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    Genetically Superior
    Commented on this photo:

    Brain and beauty: she should reproduce more for the sake of future generations. It is sad that instead we have bimbos like Jessica Alba having multiple kids.

  32. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    Flame On
    Commented on this photo:

    It happens but once a cycle, but it would appear that she is the next to be blessed with an improved body post-pregnancy (see Kerr, Miranda)

  33. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    Bionic_Crouton
    Commented on this photo:

    “I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly.”

  34. Royal Highness / Lowly Piss Boy

    I’d like to Queen her Amidala

  35. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s the look of a man picturing his wife being violated by the Fassbender and she’s loving every minute of it.

  36. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy jumping fucking Jesus. That’s an amazing body. Pregnancy be damned.

  37. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    Commented on this photo:

    Best mom ass I’ve ever seen

  38. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    Commented on this photo:

    Words fail me at this moment.

  39. Mike Hunt

    Malick better not cut this out of his movie.

  40. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    amir
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m sorry, am I missing something?… oh, it’s that microscopic ass.

    • its not about the size its about the shape and what you can do to it. I myself like the big asses but this is just too mouth watering to pass on…Just like Mila Kunis

  41. dave

    What’s going on, did she get implants? Her rack was never that big.

  42. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    Commented on this photo:

    DAT ASS.

  43. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    freeksho
    Commented on this photo:

    baby hungry ….feed meeeeee!!!

  44. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    Dee
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus Christ! That ass is phat!!

  45. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    Derek
    Commented on this photo:

    She was attractive before, but she’s HOT now.

    Lucky folks in Austin last weekend. Hook ‘em!

  46. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    datroof
    Commented on this photo:

    kind of disappointed, thats a pretty flat ass

  47. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    Mike
    Commented on this photo:

    her legs are just too short for me, I like tall women with sexy long legs not short shits with short legs and flat asses.

  48. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    Commented on this photo:

    make sure you had super models in you daily time schedule. **SARCASM**

  49. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    jack-n-the-hat
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s sweet their gay nanny gets to tag along…

  50. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    navvet75
    Commented on this photo:

    I like all legs that can wrap around me.

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