Natalie Portman Has That Motherly Glow

February 11th, 2011 // 112 Comments

Here’s Natalie Portman bursting out of an office building with a face full of murder yesterday while Benjamin Millipied takes his sweet old time behind her. This guy seems a little too aloof for a balding ballet instructor who got a chance to bang Natalie Portman, only to do it all wrong by ejaculating into her vagina. I understand women like a man who’s confident, but I also understand they couldn’t tell you what they want if you held a pair of shoes to their head. So you might want to make with some ice cream or stop talking on your phone even though both are going to be the wrong choice because she really just wanted you to listen three months ago when she asked if the toaster looked crooked, you fucking asshole. GOD.

Photos: Splash News


  1. gogo


  2. j-sin

    Now THAT is just pure bitch face.

  3. RoboZombie

    Ha! That’s how she looked at me when I put it in her butt by “accident”.
    Good times…

  4. Wai Long Peen

    When did she start looking like such a fucking cunt?

  5. Boo

    And she’s still gorgeous pissed off.

  6. Gerald Tarrant

    And here I thought it was Hillary Swank after getting a mouth reduction.


  8. Scott

    She’s always looked awesome with an angry face – do you remember the rap she did on Saturday night live?

  9. When your family and friends tell you to stay together for the baby they are absolutely wrong. Noone deserves to be miserable for the rest of eternity. Kick it to the curb.

  10. Natalie Portman
    Commented on this photo:

    Get out before it gets worse, it aint gonna get better.

  11. adolf hitler

    who took the jam out of her doughnut

  12. Get out before it gets worse, it’s not going to get better. A liar will only lie.

  13. Natalie Portman
    Commented on this photo:


  14. Talk Hard

    Probably realized a guy in ballet cannot be straight.

    • ThatBitchFromTheGym

      Yeah, makes you wonder how this mess even happened in the first place. He probably sat in the shower and cried for 3 days afterward.

  15. Natalie Portman
    Commented on this photo:

    Awww, she has pregnant woman acne! :P

  16. Natalie Portman
    Commented on this photo:

    wow you can really see all her wrinkles and lines, she has bad skin too…

  17. Cock Dr

    Ferociously beautiful anger. I wonder if she kicked his ass in the car. Hope so.

    • IttyBittyTittyCommittee

      Would you stop with the violence against men.
      All I am sayin’ is Give peace a chance

      • IttyBittyTittyCommittee

        GRAVY isn’t the only BITTER pill to swallow today.
        What’s up Doc?
        Speaking of swallowing……..I won’t go there, you’re crabby

      • Cock Dr

        He should be kicked for impregnating her so quickly. But I suppose that’s the best & fastest way to bring a female movie star movie into the marriage pen….for a while.
        Can’t be crabby when it’s Fryday. Not allowed.

  18. Natalie Portman
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks to me like she’s just trying to get something out of her teeth with her tongue. So what?

  19. Deacon Jones

    She looks hotter here than she ever has. Maybe because that’s the face my ex used to make as she ripped her clothes off when we had mad makeup sex.

    That guy def. sucks cock. Maybe he gave her the HIV

  20. Natalie Portman
    Commented on this photo:

    she found out she had sex with a man whose last name is a bug..MILLIPIED.lLOLLLLLLLL

  21. Can we drop the whole “motherly glow” thing once and for all? Pregnant chicks look fat…that’s it. They neither glow, nor look healthy, or anything else remotely positive.

  22. Natalie Portman
    I'm on my Period.
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s only marrying that Millipied asshole because he’s a kike and her biological clock was ticking away. She’ll realize what a mistake she’s made after the baby is born and file for divorce. Hope she got a prenup.

  23. It looks like she’s concentrating really hard on licking something out from between her teeth…

  24. Natalie Portman
    proactiv please
    Commented on this photo:

    she needs proactiv.

  25. Natalie Portman
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I can warm myself under the heat fury of those eyes.

  26. hmna

    Pic 1 – It’s Jennifer Garner! Get it right, Fish!

  27. Natalie Portman
    Commented on this photo:

    Guess who has a french dick in her hand bag?

  28. that is definitely a pregnant woman face….

  29. Natalie Portman
    Commented on this photo:

    Spotty Mc Spotface

  30. Fletch

    Yup, this is gonna be one successful marriage. Although I have to say it might last longer than the Brand/Perry marriage.

  31. Freedumb ain't free

    or maybe she’s just annoyed having her photo taken again and again and again…

    Crazy, I know.

  32. Natalie Portman
    Commented on this photo:

    I swear to God, if they ever break up or have any problems I’m going to kill myself.

  33. Hank

    See pic 7 — she needs less makeup and more proactive.

  34. Natalie Portman
    Commented on this photo:

    Are you sure that’s not Hillary Swank?

  35. Natalie Portman
    Satan's bitch
    Commented on this photo:

    Somebody got his ass chewed out on the way home. Natalie looks royally pissed off!!

  36. Jose Mubarak

    That’s what I’m talkin’ about.

  37. Mel Gibson

    She was thinking about how Jesus rose from the dead and she’s saying to herself “we need to get better nails”.

  38. Natalie Portman
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know Pierre, all I said was:
    “Bay-bee, I love too much to want a prenup”.

  39. ThatBitchFromTheGym

    Ahh, the face of motherly bliss. It brings a tear to my eye. *sniff*

  40. Natalie Portman
    Commented on this photo:

    She must be having a girl…cause she really broke out.

  41. LMAO @ Fish

    IBTC is gonna call me “bitter” again for agreeing with your scenario…. But seriously dude… It so happens that way…

  42. babooda

    I think that she just found out her baby daddy is gay and married to another guy!

  43. jonesy

    If ever there was a face that screamed, “Honey, you’re getting laid tonight!”, that’s not it.

  44. I wonder if he scratched his nose and she thought he picked his nose.

  45. From the look on her face, I would say the paternity test came back positive.

    • IttyBittyTittyCommittee


    • i’m so out of it today. but that is a good one. was thinking of posting upset she couldn’t have that cashier for looking in her direction arrested for stalking her. But that is so old. It was true years ago that she did have a foreign exchange student arrested for stalking her when he walked by her house(which was a secret) . and when the Feds nabbed him, it turned out he never even heard of her . When this guy who actually got to shoot a load in her asked about her on the set, she did have security go after him.

  46. Natalie Portman
    Commented on this photo:

    My ugly ass is smoother than that forehead.

    Still love her though.

  47. chupacabra

    He’s definitely a little prick. One thing about dancers: they fuck like a dream, but you need to kick them out of bed in the morning. They are severe assholes, and this one, from everything I read, is not only an asshole, but also FRENCH, so it’s like double ass.

  48. chupacabra

    You know what? She needs to eat a fucking steak. I know she’s vegan and all that shit, but her baby is hungry and needs the amino acids of a juicy fucking burger. Maybe that would clear up the damn pimples all over her forehead. Vegans are stupid.

  49. The Pure Truth

    One time when I so Natalie in the airport,she say to me when I ask her-Hey Natalie,I’m one of your biggest fans.Can I have a picture whit you?” And she say to me ( Can You move,please and keep your distance.OK”———–Can you imagine what would happen if she won the Oscar. ( Goodbye Fans;and please don’t forget to check and buy all my movies.OK..Oh,and please remember to keep you distance.Thanks : )

  50. jojo

    This looks like the “mother-in-law issues” face. Ben, let Mommy go. Best to deal with it before Nat snaps like a dried up chicken wing.

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