“Bonjour, bitches!”
To the anguish of nerds the world over, Natalie Portman has given birth to Benjamin Millepied‘s son, according to People. And exactly as you’d expect from a Jewish vegan actress and French ballet divo, they’ve chosen not to reveal the name of their progeny, so just assume it’s something really pretentious like Hiram Baryshnikov Alouette Millepied The Thousand and Oneth. “Non, non, non, those swine shall not know my swan prince’s name until they dance ze Nutcracker!” is how I like to pretend that conversation went.
Photos: Splash News
Ze afta-birss, she taste like a fine Brie, but wis a soupçonne of Manischewitz.
They should name him Beard
Unless she had twins and named them Luke and Leia, I don’t want to hear about it.
lol. nerd
Win.
The son will be named Oscar
“You poor, poor man….named after a hot dog”
no after that gold statue Natalie Portman won
Or Oscar the Grouch. I hope they name the kid after Oscar the Grouch.
He shall be named “Vladimir Soft Shoe Hotsy-Totsy Pants. Future LORD OF THE DANCE!
I think he should be named Hey Hick Fuck You. That is a very clever name.
So is there a reason for this ridiculousness or does he literally douche-dance everywhere he goes?
http://9gag.com/gag/96188/
lol
I fucking love you
The child is likely to be agile if nothing else.
Congratulations to the new parents.
Wow, it looks like The Rapture is actually starting and the douchebags are the first ones to go.
+1
Dude, I would birth a levitating dude’s son.
Not Criss Angel though, he’s weird and was with Holly who was with Hef, etc;
You can have Beiber.
Holy Lord, that’s sexy.
Shut up everybody.
Actually, if they are following Jewish tradition, the couple will not announce the name of the child right away. In fact, in that particular tradition they will not let anyone know the name until it is announced at Synagogue during a naming ceremony for girls or the bris (circumcision) for boys.
http://www.jewfaq.org/birth.htm
Like you dear writer, I too was raised in an overly religious environment but in my case a different one. Like you as well I have gotten as far from it as I can, so I’m not saying what there doing is right or wrong but in this case it might not have anything to do with celebutard douchebaggery.
LOL I’m so drunk I thought that said “jewfag”.
Hahaha!
He didn’t marry her, right? Right.
Well… that’s that then.
close they are engaged
Lol! I’m engaged in eating a McMuffin at the moment but it doesn’t mean I’m still going to be licking it’s greasy goodness in, say, 5 minutes.
And it is not like you can’t easily get divorced.
Marriage only means something if the people in the marriage give it meaning.
Otherwise it is only a inconvenience when breaking up.
Black guy is not amused.
Breakfast in France is a miserable experience for all involved.
What a fucking travesty.
Grumble grumble…
The girls wanna be me!
and the boys wanna faq me!
pssst: SINCE WHEN WE CALL SUCH SSISSY-BOYS ……….GUYS?
That number 8 trash can has some PRESENCE!
Do the twist!
Do the fly!
Do the swim!
Do the bird!
Do the duck!
Do the monkey!
Hey hey, watusi!
And what about the frug?
Do the mashed potato!
What about the boogaloo?
Oh, the bony maronie!
Come on, let’s do the twist!
AaahDo the twist
Do the fly
Do the swim
And do the bird
Well do the duck
Aaah, and do the monkey
Hey hey, watusi
And, ah, what about the frug
Do the mashed potato
What about the boogaloo
Oh, the bony marony
Come on let’s do the twist
Aaah
Aw, shit. Ruined it with bad copy and paste.
Congrats to the couple.
Now, Ms Portman, get that bangin’ little body back into shape, pronto.
why do ladies date ballet guys!!! as a former ballet student…they are all gay. period. all of them. i was disappointed it wasn’t a girl with spock eyebrows like her. i wonder if parents ever think ugh. a boy. damn it. you know like victoria beckham did all three of those times.
that vagina is ruined
I disagree. I don’t think this guy is exactly John Holmes. I’m guessing he’s more in the Ken doll territory.
Are those grapes sour, too, Mr. Fox?
Fuck, I don’t know whats more douchy, this guy or me knowing that white shirt is Yves Saint Laurent
-20 man points
they probably haven’t revealed the name because it is Jewish custom not to reveal the name until the “bris”, which takes place 8 days after the baby is born.
how is this picture possible? what is he doing? landing? jumping?
Pretty sure he’s landing. He jumped from the stairs behind him, probably. I thought he was just jumping onto some people’s table at random, but look at the table legs, pretty clearly a sturdy platform made just for this. But still, I’m not sure what’s going on; whatever it is, if it’s released in some form or another, I’m not going to see it, either.
It’s way too early in the morning for something THIS gay.
I can’t help but think, in France, all men act like this.
Rancid, they don’t… But I can’t help but think, in the ballet world, all men act like this (and are gay).
they kinda do
How do you twirl on tv without Jerry the Mouse.
I laughed for a year at “The Thousand and Oneth.” Genius.
that picture might look pretentious and douchey, but that is also how he happens to enter her vagina–floating out of the air, feet first.
Honestly, I hope it works out well for all three of them. Good luck guys!
Damn the gay guys are getting all the best poon lately.
Good, now they can have the paternity test to prove the kid isn’t really Ashton Kutcher’s…..or in some quirky and unexplainable way, Mila Kunis’ .
Perhaps he is light in the loafers
Is that a bodyshirt? He’s wearing a damn bodyshirt!
Which one of you ladies ordered the flaming Frenchie?
Why are both of the dudes looking at his crotchular region and then the woman is looking at his face?
I think we got ourselves a photograph full of “got dam homasexuls”
So typical, knock up a Jewish girl and get sucked into Heaven by the rapture. Well played Benjamin… well played.
if men could give birth he would have 1000 children
Queer.
maybe nat is progressive enough…
to…
not…
genitally multilate her own flesh and blood ?
[[[you could hope… ?
yeah… right…
both of these women just got pregnant.
N. Portman is an actress. She might be “acting ” to convince us that gayest of all gay dudes is the father , when he probably has a visceral reaction when viewing a vagina
his BFF is kriss angel