The 2011 MTV Movie Awards

June 6th, 2011 // 273 Comments

While last year’s show at least had the decency to regale us with Katy Perry and Christina Aguilera‘s breasts as Twilight anti-climactically won everything, this year’s MTV Movie Awards decided to be a lackluster affair with Twilight still anti-climactically winning everything alongside nothing more than fully-covered Blake Lively cleavage and Emma Watson‘s niche-hotness. (Read: Pedophiles. Pedophiles are that niche.) The only interesting thing they did is let Justin Bieber compete in a few categories, so it wasn’t a total lock for Twilight. And I say interesting if you’re 12 and can’t decide whether to decorate your bedroom with the Sparkle Cock or Maple Christ because we’re fucked as a society.

Best Male Performance: Robert Pattinson, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Best Villain: Tom Felton, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1
Best Jaw Dropping Moment: Justin Bieber, Justin Bieber: Never Say Never
Biggest Badass Star: Chloë Mortez, Kick-Ass
Best Breakout Star: Chloë Mortez, Kick-Ass
Best Fight: Robert Pattinson vs. Xavier Samuel and Bryce Dallas Howard, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Best Kiss Winner Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Best Line From a Movie: “I want to get chocolate wasted!” – Alexys Nycole Sanchez, Grown Ups
Best Scared-As-Sh*t Performance: Ellen Page, Inception
Best Female Performance: Kristen Stewart, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Best Comedic Performance: Emma Stone, Easy A
Best Movie Winner: The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

Photo: Getty

superficial

  1. That Bastard Tony

    I lost respect for this trainwreck when Twilight won over The Dark Knight. Whether or not TDK is a quality movie is subjective, but ANYONE who thinks Twilight is better needs to… uhh.. to be.. OK you know what that picture of Mila Kunis on the right is distracting me from saying something clever so I’ll be back in 15 minutes to finish that statement.

  2. That Bastard Tony

    Oh yeah, FUCK Justin Timberlake.

  3. Kristen Stewart MTV Movie Awards
    Any Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    SO fuckable. damn.

  4. Kristen Stewart MTV Movie Awards
    moolarg
    Commented on this photo:

    DERRRRRRP!

  5. Justin Bieber MTV Movie Awards
    AT
    Commented on this photo:

    total douche look

  6. Kristen Stewart MTV Movie Awards
    AT
    Commented on this photo:

    she stands like a dude

  7. Kristen Stewart MTV Movie Awards
    ziphead
    Commented on this photo:

    mmmm…….tiger blood

  8. Kristen Stewart MTV Movie Awards
    Eddie
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d plant a goo bomb right on her spring cloud white body.

  9. Taylor Lautner MTV Movie Awards
    Eddie
    Commented on this photo:

    He should consider a nose job

  10. Emma Stone MTV Movie Awards
    Doc Schweinstrudel
    Commented on this photo:

    Who is she? Incredibly hot. I first thought “Olivia Wilde looks better than usual” though.

  11. RoboZombie

    They all look like they’re for pedos….ewwww.

  12. Ashton Kutcher Nicki Minaj MTV Movie Awards
    MisterSuccint
    Commented on this photo:

    I only recognized her because of the big fake penis … Ashton who?

  13. Kristen Stewart MTV Movie Awards
    Hemingway
    Commented on this photo:

    “Kristen, you compared being a celebrity to rape. People say you’re a dumbass. Your thoughts?”

    “Eh…”

  14. Kristen Stewart MTV Movie Awards
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    She . . . is built like . . . a boy. If I were Michael Jackson I’d be fapping like crazy, but I am not.

  15. Emma Watson MTV Movie Awards
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    The body is pretty banging, but it’s just hard to get into with that haircut . . .

  16. Robert Pattinson MTV Movie Awards
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Good God, he looks like QT’s kid here. That would explain a lot.

  17. Selena Gomez MTV Movie Awards
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks much better without the funny-looking Canadian lesbian hanging on her.

  18. Emma Stone MTV Movie Awards
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Uh, her boobs are at least three inches apart, and I am pretty sure she could stick them in her arm pits. That is not hot. At all.

  19. Emma Watson MTV Movie Awards
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Back it up, girl. I’ll tell you when to stop.

  20. Justin Bieber MTV Movie Awards
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    This kid is smart. He knows his 15 minutes is about half over, and he didn’t blow a bunch of money on ties and shirts with collars. He’ll appreciate that in a few years.

  21. Amanda Bynes MTV Movie Awards
    n
    Commented on this photo:

    So ugly

  22. Cameron Diaz Jason Segel MTV Movie Awards
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Jason Segel. Great look. Open shirt? Check. Clueless look? Check. Only finger prints in pocket? Check. You sir, are a perfect douche.

  23. Taylor Lautner MTV Movie Awards
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    He should consider a face job.

  24. Emma Watson MTV Movie Awards
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Enough, Fish. We get it. The girl from Potter is a “woman” now. If she really wants to prove it she needs to get unartistically nude.

  25. Kristen Stewart MTV Movie Awards
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh boy. This trannie is in every second picture!

  26. Tom Felton MTV Movie Awards
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Boy looks like Russian sailor. In Soviet Union, ship sails you!

  27. Jessica Szohr MTV Movie Awards
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Very classy. Two ovaries and a flower for her cooter. Apparently she has a vaginal opening where most women have a pelvis.

  28. Emma Watson MTV Movie Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    I love her choice in practical footwear.

  29. Brooklyn Decker MTV Movie Awards
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s very, very pretty. Even with clothes on.

  30. Justin Bieber MTV Movie Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Foghat?

  31. Amanda Bynes MTV Movie Awards
    Maggie
    Commented on this photo:

    Didn’t she retire?

  32. rough text

    She looks, so ermmm I should I put this? CLEAN!

  33. Kristen Stewart MTV Movie Awards
    Mashara
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh my god, is she laughing? So the world really is ending in 2012? Damn!

  34. Robert Pattinson Bryce Dallas Howard MTV Movie Awards
    Hola
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s preggers, right?

  35. Kristen Stewart MTV Movie Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Her mouth needs to move down her chin.

  36. The Listener

    The Twilight cast kept winning. It was boringly predictable. The show wasn’t about who did the best in each category; it was just about what was the most popular movie.
    The only interesting parts were the jokes by Jason Sudekis and when Justin T grabbed Mila’s breasts and she grabbed his crotch on stage (even though that bit has been done before at 1 or 2 other different award shows.)
    There was too much cursing on the show.

  37. Taylor Lautner MTV Movie Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    How can he see?

  38. Ashton Kutcher Nicki Minaj MTV Movie Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Look, Douche Christ & Drag Usher are in town!

  39. Jessica Szohr MTV Movie Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    My curtains!

  40. Emma Watson MTV Movie Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    The classic Soul Reaver suck pose, MTV-style.

  41. Jessica Szohr MTV Movie Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    An acid trip just farted all over her.

  42. Kristen Stewart MTV Movie Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Very, very generic.

  43. Emma Watson MTV Movie Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Does his chin fall off if he doesn’t hold it?

  44. Andrew Garfield MTV Movie Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Bahahahahahahahahahahaha!

  45. Brooklyn Decker MTV Movie Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    She just stepped out of her 1995 dressing room.

  46. Brooklyn Decker MTV Movie Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Neck is a bit skinny and tacky gold granny clothes need to go, but otherwise she looks nice.

  47. Ryan Reynolds MTV Movie Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Another contender for the ‘how the fuck can these people see?’ category.

  48. Emma Watson MTV Movie Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Invisible slaves.

  49. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley MTV Movie Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Something about her nose seems weird here.

  50. Robert Pattinson MTV Movie Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like the guy I just paid to rip down my deck.

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