While last year’s show at least had the decency to regale us with Katy Perry and Christina Aguilera‘s breasts as Twilight anti-climactically won everything, this year’s MTV Movie Awards decided to be a lackluster affair with Twilight still anti-climactically winning everything alongside nothing more than fully-covered Blake Lively cleavage and Emma Watson‘s niche-hotness. (Read: Pedophiles. Pedophiles are that niche.) The only interesting thing they did is let Justin Bieber compete in a few categories, so it wasn’t a total lock for Twilight. And I say interesting if you’re 12 and can’t decide whether to decorate your bedroom with the Sparkle Cock or Maple Christ because we’re fucked as a society.
Best Male Performance: Robert Pattinson, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Best Villain: Tom Felton, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1
Best Jaw Dropping Moment: Justin Bieber, Justin Bieber: Never Say Never
Biggest Badass Star: Chloë Mortez, Kick-Ass
Best Breakout Star: Chloë Mortez, Kick-Ass
Best Fight: Robert Pattinson vs. Xavier Samuel and Bryce Dallas Howard, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Best Kiss Winner Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Best Line From a Movie: “I want to get chocolate wasted!” – Alexys Nycole Sanchez, Grown Ups
Best Scared-As-Sh*t Performance: Ellen Page, Inception
Best Female Performance: Kristen Stewart, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Best Comedic Performance: Emma Stone, Easy A
Best Movie Winner: The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Photo: Getty
holy shit, she’s perfect
There’s Something About Rosie
I don’t get this chick. I mean, she’s kinda cute but she always looks like she smells like a hobo.
I don’t know what people see in this girl. She really is not attractive.
did minaj apply a sticky thing to cover up her bellybutton, or what?
i was wondering the same thing, wtf is that?????
god damn she’s gorgeous. even on a regular red carpet photo she looks like it’s taken right out of a magazine.
You know these are edited too, right? And that she’s had a nosejob and botoxed lips?
i guess only the supermodel gets the fan on the red carpet. that, or her presence is that epic.
hooooly shit i had to do a double take – i thought it was eva longoria’s head photoshopped on there.
lanky
The MTV audience is not as dumb as one might think. They gave Justin Bieber the Best Jaw Dropping Moment Award, which is clearly an allusion to the fact that he gives blowjobs.
It’s Orville Redenbacher Jesus and NipSlip Minaj.
This. You beat me to it. Well done.
Who’s got two thumbs and didn’t win squat?
It you cross your eyes you can see a hippo.
Geez, we get it. She likes to blow kisses and show off her ass.
How weird is it that, compared to everyone else, he looks like the creepy old guy?
TIme for a “There’s Something About Mary” remake already?
Wait, that hair style is on purpose?
He’s Mister White Christmas.
He’s Mister Snow.
He’s Mister Icicle.
He’s Mister Ten Below.
Friends call me Snow Miser,
What ever I touch.
Turns to snow in my clutch.
He’s too much!
Robert Pattinson thanks the judges for their gift of the new Kristen Stewart flesh light “gold edition”.
hopefully someday, she’ll grow out of “trashy.”
well, hopefully…
hm…interesting choice of ..eh..clothes
I don’t understand… what has happened to young girls? why do they have a homeless guy and a little girl as their sex symbols? at least we had Leo from Titanic in our days. he was 23 and very good looking (well at least he did not look like he never had a shower)
is she still fourteen?
I would fuck then hard pic#1,2,4 &5. MTV Awards for paedophiles and insomniacs…………………
Jesus, is Kristen Stewart having a starving contest with LeAnn Rimes or what?
THIS WAS THE PLACE TO PLEASE THE PORN INDUSTRY!!
“Where all the black men at?”
God, I would luv to eat her ass!
Fucking pig.
I’d finger her till she came all over my hand, then make her suck my balls, while she said, ‘Do you like this, daddy?’
Cool story, bro.
I really do believe you, and I really do care.
Do you! Do you really, really, really?
So you’re into softcore, eh?
Why do they always stand like that?
Crossing the legs makes the hips look narrower. Of course, it doesn’t make any sense if you have the figure of a 12-year-old boy, but who ever accused celebrities of making sense?
Crossing the legs makes the hips appear rounder, giving a pseudo-hourglass figure.
I think the photogs ask them to pose certain ways and/or catch them when they’re moving.
She was born in 1998, you are so pedo
I know! Ain’t it terrible!
Emma Watson and Selena Gomez took a giant crap on all the other women in Hollywood last night and solidified themselves as the hottest chicks in the game.
Oh, you mean figuratively, not literally. For a second I thought I may have missed an MTV show worth watching.
I love her! Blair
Nice pooch!
That’s the letter “S”, you mong.
Ugly dress. Now, take it off!
just get naked…. the rest of this really isn’t necessary
2nd that.
trying too hard, pixieboy
looks hawt in that dress–she manage to not drop the award this time?
What happened to her face?
way sexy for chelsea, but round a ton of chicks half her age she looks like someone’s mom
or someone’s gym teacher
Wrong shoes….otherwise fabulous.
Youthquake vibe.
The mystery continues.
I think she wants us to look at her tits.
Demure isn’t really the looks to go for at an MTV awards ceremony.
A wrinkled black baggie dress. How appealing.
Ha ha, good eye! It looks like she took a Hefty bag and poked holes for her arms and head.
First she gets the mom haircut, now she starts wearing mom dresses.
This is beyond mom. This is overweight granny glam.
I hooked up Kirsten with my old dope dealer back when she was underage.
Whn she was short on cash,
the dumb bitch blow him for a freaking dub sack!!
Hahahahaha good times!!
From then on we´d call her dub sack Kristen…cause for
all you uninlightened trolls “dub sack” can also be used
for “nut sack”…
Mr Ryan’s hair is leaving him, just like Scarlet did.
With a boner in hand?
HOTTEST chick in Hollywood, HANDS FUCKING DOWN