Mr. Clean Is Making Dem Panties Drop! Wait, What?

In my ongoing efforts to toss our man-loving readership a bone whenever possible – Scott Disick’s penis, anyone? – I came across the new Mr. Clean Super Bowl commercial, which is apparently making ladies lose their shit, so now I understand women even less. I went from knowing they shouldn’t put rocks in their vaginas to they want Magic Mike with a sweet cartoon butt to clean their floors then turn into their frumpy, unshaven husband for sex on the couch? With the lights on?! This goes against all of my research. Farrah Abraham didn’t even squirt out of her butt once! (My research might have been porn.) When does Captain America kiss Bucky? (And the Marvel films.)

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