MOTHERF#%&ER!

September 24th, 2010 // 106 Comments

“By day’s end, I will have my laugh at all of you.”

So Lindsay Lohan‘s getting out of jail. Momen-fucking-tarily. TMZ reports:

Judge Fox ruled earlier today … Lindsay could be held without bail. But apparently the Judge’s ruling flies in the face of California law, which gives defendants the right to bail in misdemeanor cases.
Judge Patricia Schnegg, Assistant Supervising Judge for the L.A. County Criminal Courts, just threw Judge Fox’s bail decision out the window. Judge Schnegg has set bail at $300,000.
Lindsay, who is in Lynwood Jail right now, should get out soon … probably in a few hours.

As a small consolation, Lindsay is forced to wear a SCRAM device again which would be awesome if, oh I dunno, anklets had the ability to prevent drug addicts from hitting baby strollers with a moving vehicle. Last I checked they mostly just dangle around your foot, but maybe science’s advanced since the last time I saw one. At any rate, I’ll be planting large quantities of explosives in the San Andreas fault and praying to a God who clearly doesn’t exist to help me exact his vengeance on a modern day Gomorrah. Adieu.

(Side Note: I am never doing a Quote of the Day post again. Seriously, if I had a daughter, that thing would be in her bedroom right now. That’s how bad it backfired.)

Photos: Pacific Coast News

superficial

  1. notawesome

    DAMMIT

  2. lohania

    Wonder if she did a line of cocaine in the car right after she got released.

    *SNIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFFF* AHH FREEDOM

  3. Nerd

    Shit…you know what I just realized, when this bitch is dead in about 6 months…who are we going to hate? I guess we can just go back to hating the Speidi twins, or Kate Goshlin, but they suck ass…ah well who cares.

    The mourning is going to be hysterical. Why God…why such an innocent soul like Lindsay? psst..ticketstothefuneralare10grandeach…oh god why!!

    • RasputinsLiver

      Maybe then 5150 Britney will be unleashed from her conservatorship and we’ll be regaled with new daily whacktastic shit of our now lamentably gone pinkwigged, fake British talking, umbrella wielding, frapp guzzling, period seeping, bare-feet-in-public-bathrooms shambling, wonky titted…

      Classic 5150 Britney!

      She was much more fun anyway as an epic train wreck. I’ve never forgiven her father for what he’s done.

  4. DawnAlex

    She is not lucky.
    Every time they let her slide on these issues they are just pushing her closer to death.

  5. Sorry ladies, I'm busy..

    wishing people would die on the internet.

  6. Onslaught

    Sigh

    Why don’t somebody just pay a drifter to shank da bitch already, take out Paris Hilton too….make it a 2 for 1 sale

    Oh yeah, that would be a felony….my bad

    • john smith

      Posting what you just posted is at least a Class C Felony under the new Intimidation laws in amerika.
      Be very careful what you post and say!!

  7. Lindsay Lohan Arrives in Court
    lily
    Commented on this photo:

    Welcome to the largest and most successful interracial dating site in the world!*****Rich flirts.c/o/m**** is for sincere singles of all races,
    seriously looking for an interracial relationship or interracial marriage.Thousands of new members daily. Join now to meet your dream date in this
    comfortable community of different cultures and ethnicities.

  8. you

    fuck that firecrotch

  9. Fred Cloot

    Here’s how to fix Lindsay: a good ol’ fashioned lobotomy. Icepick up the eye socket, couple quick swipes through the frontal lobes, problem solved. No more drugs needed, just the peace of numbness. Or give he what she wants, and give it to her good and hard: all the drugs she can take until brain death sets in.

  10. It just dawned on me why she’s been looking better lately: the oldest 23 year old in the world has discovered botox, hence the shiny forehead eg. As if she needed even more toxins in her body.

  11. Gary B

    It is a miracle that LiLo has not died from a a drug overdose yet.

  12. Oh man, I want to feel a fart ripple on her taut butt crack!

  13. Frobz

    The stupid cunt knows she is UNTOUCHABLE. Finally the American “legal” system is finally wide open for everyone to see: and people are noticing. Behold you stupid plebs, there is no “democracy” and there is no “freedom.” Only money. And it buggars the imagination to know how this bitch still has any.

    Some are more free than others. Welcome to the Animal Farm you fucking slaves. Will you wake up now?

  14. Frobz

    No idea why this stupid site decides NOW to censor things but: WELCOME TO THE ANIMAL FARM YOU STUPID SLAVES. Some are more “free” than others. Those with CASH. Land of the free? Hah! Home of the brave? No one would go to see that movie.

  15. supashan

    So SICK of this bitch!! Who cares already! The girl will never have to go to jail. Someone should just sh*&t her and get it over with…………………….or freeze her bank account!

  16. supashan

    oh and why do all her pics in court look like she’s on the red carpet(well some of the time) maybe she’s screwin the judge. hmmmmmmmm bitch always gets away with it………

  17. Righty Whitey

    It’s Liberals to blame, all you fucking whiney ass liberals, blame the system not the criminal, blame the surroundings, blame the parents, blame the friends, blame the school system…blah, blah, blah, but never, ever, blame the guilty fuck who committed the crime. Goddamn sorry ass tree-hugging liberal fucking bleeding heart hippy coward assholes. You’ve got the entire country, and especially the legal system so fucking PC and forgiving because you just can’t admit that some people just belong in jail, no matter what outside circumstances they may have been in. You fucking liberals are to blame for this shit. Fuck you liberals, right in your fucking pc asses, you all should go fucking leap off a cliff, holding hands of course…fuckstains. Fuck you, Fuck you, Fuck you, right in your fucking suckholes….fuckers. Keep bitching. Goddamn fuckers.

  18. JollyJumJuck

    How surprising.
    They should call her Lindsay Teflo-han because nothing sticks to her.

  19. JollyJumJuck

    Oh, to the poster: “praying to a God who clearly doesn’t exist”

    No, “God” does exist. It just isn’t a very caring, impartial, or just God. Except for a select few.

  20. zzshi

    lindsay is still workin it out, why do press have to post every moment of her life , leave the girl alone . wow obbessed peeps

  21. yo

    All of you a******s that think she needs jail obviously have never known anyone with a drug problem. She needs intensive rehab(not for 2 weeks). She should go away for at least 6 months without any contact with her pathetic, gold digging excuse for a mother. Her father is no prize, but it seems that he’s the only one that sees her well being, not to mention her health & life are the main priority.

  22. J.E.B.

    She got out on $300K bail, and she’s riding around NY in limos, staying at the most expensive hotels, and still buying expensive clothes? I hope she screws up one more time; she’ll be out over a quarter million dollars, her reputation and career will be over, and we won’t have to read about this moron anymore!

  23. Lindsay Lohan Arrives in Court
    Blondie
    Commented on this photo:

    My god, that’s the nicest she’s looked since she was in The Parent Trap – and probably the most fabric she’s worn at one time. I wonder how big an army of stylists it took to make her look not only her age, but also not a cracked out tart. They deserve an award, lol.

  24. lyn

    She needs to do some hard time like Robert Downey Jr had to.

  25. Lindsay Lohan Arrives in Court
    absinthe
    Commented on this photo:

    When I saw that first pic, I thought it was Joan Rivers

Leave A Comment