Moby dated Natalie Portman?! WTF?!

February 22nd, 2008 // 59 Comments

If I collapse in the middle of this post, it’s because I’m so chock full of nerd rage I’m ready to start opening action figures thus lowering their collectible value. I’m seriously that pissed. It’s kind of scary. Apparently Moby dated Natalie Portman a while back making him the target of my fellow geek’s hatred. Page Six reports:

“I guess in some people’s eyes, [nerds] might be mildly sexy – and, as a nerd, I’m certainly happy to enjoy some of the effects of that. But as far as the very brief affair that I had with Natalie, it’s made me a target of a lot of nerd wrath,” the techno-whiz tells next month’s Spin. “You don’t date Luke Skywalker’s mom and not have them hate your guts.”

First off, the prequels suck, so die and burn in hell for mentioning them. Second, I get chicks way hotter than Natalie Portman all the time. Okay, maybe not as hot – and they’re missing a couple limbs. But those ladies are dynamite in the sack. Or so they tell me before stealing my wallet. So, yeah, Moby, in your face!

Photo: Getty Images
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  1. Randall

    Here Natalie is posing with a radiant hair style, provided by JC Salon. Such a glow is caused by using Pantene PRO-V shampoo. The shine of her skin is provided by Noxzema Skin Cream, which helps hydrate and sooth irritated skin.

    Makeup provided by Clairol, a women’s choice.

  2. Natalie Portman is adorable, I’d cut off my left hand to get with her. Until now. Didn’t everyone know already that Moby’s got the herps? At least everyone in the electronic music scene. Guess word didn’t spread to the naive hot young actress scene. Too bad.

    PS: Eww she’s going to have a big ass blister pop out of her cooch anyday now!

  3. rocklobster

    Ewww…It’s pretty well known that Moby has herpes. Does this mean Padme is rife with labial lesions? I guess in Hollywood the herpes and hepatitis runs so rampant no one raises an eyebrow anymore.

  4. crazypants

    yeah I’ve also heard about the herpes thing. there was a very fine woman who worked in my company a few years back who’d dated him and spilled it. She was a six footer this one, so Moby must have mad mack skills to pull the talent he does. Or a couple of million dollars. One or the other.

  5. herbiefrog

    so we read 55 comments and still not sure what this post is about. did you expect her to wait forever? and we’ve heard of moby : ) she’s great and he seems ok. so what?

  6. alyssa

    She is just so tastful and gorgIOUS! I love her! She’s an israli…and one of the best actress alive! I loved the movie Where the heart is and when i saw it i just fell in love with natalie! I love you girl i’m your biggest fan!

  7. alyssa

    She is just so tastful and gorgIOUS! I love her! She’s an israli…and one of the best actress alive! I loved the movie Where the heart is and when i saw it i just fell in love with natalie! I love you girl i’m your biggest fan!

  8. alyssa

    She is just so tastful and gorgIOUS! I love her! She’s an israli…and one of the best actress alive! I loved the movie Where the heart is and when i saw it i just fell in love with natalie! I love you girl i’m your biggest fan!

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