Mitt Romney Seems To Be Holding Up

November 20th, 2012 // 91 Comments
Sayonara, Suckers!
Mitt Romney
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“Is that an A&W? I will suck your fucking dick…”

reddit user mbk95 captured this pic of an apparently security-less Mitt Romney pumping gas in La Jolla last night where he’s been holed up since the election. But before you go accusing him of looking like a man who just finished axe-murdering his wife in the heat of a cream soda binge, keep in mind the poor bastard had to see the new Twilight over the weekend which actually makes it even more likely that Ann Romney’s dead now, so yeah… Do we form the search party now? How does this work?

Photo: reddit


  1. Cock Dr

    Who’s this?
    Oh yeah, that Mormon guy.

  2. jimmy jim jam

    Bruce Campbell?

  3. That mad evil genius was this close to ruling the world.

    • karlito

      when you label 47% of the population as lazy moochers and tell the elitist rich that they are entitled to live pretty much tax free and that the working class should pay all the bills because that’s their lot in life, well guess what…. you’ll end up unemployed and pumping your own gas….. bitch!!

      • Schmidtler

        and when you borrow trillions of dollars to buy the votes of the marginally retarded, that can only work so long until you’ve bankrupted the country and the bill comes due, sending the entire economy off a cliff, and millions of people into unemployment and poverty. Oh wait, that’s what’s happening RIGHT NOW!!!! congrats on your ‘win’ dumbfucks. but hey, at least gay dudes can get married, so it’s all good, right?

      • Yeah. George Bush Jr was a fuck up. Nice of you to admit it, Schmidtler

      • Joe Blow

        Romney lost because America liked Obama better. Deal with it.

      • Eric

        First off Romney never said any such thing, and second you have your facts completely backwards.

        In 2009, the last year these numbers are all available., the federal government took in $1,210 Billion in federal income taxes.

        The top 1% roughly 3 million people pay 37% of all federal income taxes. In other words, 3 million people paid $448 Billion dollars in federal income taxes.

        The bottom 50% or roughly 157 million people pay only 2% of all federal income taxes. In other words, 157 million people paid a total of $24 Billion dollars in federal income tax.


      • Eddie Baby

        Dude, give it up with the facts. They aren’t listening, but they know just how fucked they are because instead of celebrating the Obama win, they are still making fun of Romney.

      • Joe Blow

        We can do both, observe:

        Hooray for Obama!

        Romney eats goat jizz!

        Case closed.

      • Sven Golly

        If he pumps his own gas, I’m guessing he jacks his own goat.

      • Ayn Rand (taking a break from sucking Satan's cock)

        A conservative trying to use arithmetic is so cute, like a chimp performing a colonoscopy.

      • karlito

        Eric your math doesn’t add up….$448 billion and $24 billion adds up to $472 billion…where does the other $738 billion come from to add up to the $1210 in Federal taxes?? you never explained that in your “Romney” mathematics. the middle class have always paid the majority of taxes, are always the ones who get the shaft when things go wrong and are the first to suffer the consequences. look through our “history of civilization”. the rich have always manipulated the system in their favour, like it’s their birth right.

      • Joe Blow

        Blah blah blah… your guys lost. Take your made-up facts and SUCK IT.

      • YagiSka

        I too am a fan of facts. Even more so of intelligent analysis of those facts.

        Here is a fact: the percentage of taxes paid by the top 1% is only meaningful when compared to the percentage of total income made by the top 1%.

        Here is an example of intelligent analysis of facts, in case you were wondering what that looked like:

    • Caleb

      And this just in from the DNC controlled Senate – SENATE BILL LETS FEDS READ YOUR EMAIL

      Proposed law scheduled for a vote next week originally increased Americans’ e-mail privacy. Then law enforcement complained. Now it increases government access to e-mail and other digital files.

      Now, who is the evil genius hell bent on controlling every aspect of your life?

      • Joaquin ingles

        I’m deeply concerned about what’s happening domestically with this administration, Dianne Frankenstein, etc. But Ronney would have been horrible at foreign policy (like most Republicans and/or redneck Americans are). They both suck.

      • mismy

        Agree completely about foreign policy. Murder for profit just doesn’t sit well with me. Nor does the federal government’s increasingly alarming tendencies towards an Orwellian nanny state.

      • joe

        obama is doing such a bang up job… the middle east is on fire. ambassador murdered, and so far nothing but lies…. fast and furious arming mexican cartels… borders wide open…. yeah, obama is really good at foreign policy… we’ll be lucky if we even need a foreign policy 4 yrs from now, probably every army in the world will be on the ground here.

  4. JC

    “47% of this gas is just going to sit in my tank and do nothing.”

  5. Deacon Jones

    ” I put my wife together, BEFORE I chopped her up”

  6. JC

    “Ann, get your ass in there and buy me some binders full of Slim Jims.”

  7. J. Jackson

    He just spotted a black guy cashing his welfare check.

  8. Mitt Romney Pumping Gas Reddit
    Commented on this photo:

    Let it go, you fucking liberal shithead.

  9. Juch

    Oh, wow. I always wear a top hat, tuxedo, and spats when I go to the gas station. And when I eat the microwave burrito I buy there I hold my pinky in the air.

  10. So he pumps his own gas and drives himself… Yeah, lets bag on that…

  11. The Royal Penis

    For Christ’s sake someone give him a dollar, a comb, and an ironing board.

  12. Weird how he becomes more likeable now.

  13. I would be perfectly fine with never seeing him or any of the cunts from the primaries this year ever again.

  14. Mitt Romney Pumping Gas Reddit
    Commented on this photo:

    When Jon Hamm does it, it’s a national phenomenon. When Romney does it, it’s just called “disheveled.” Yeesh. Looks like a sad…a sad…the gas pump’s got more going for it.

  15. Mitt Romney Pumping Gas Reddit
    Commented on this photo:

    “Mr. Pump, you should meet Clint Eastwoods chair. You two would get along great. Huh? What? I can’t put you up there!”

  16. ben

    That’s what defeat looks like.

  17. Mitt Romney Pumping Gas Reddit
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Forgetting his credit card had been canceled after the election, Romney had to work off his purchase by degreasing the hot dog rotisserie and restocking the Funyuns in the gas station mini-mart.

  18. Yuuuuup

    Jesus. The commenters in this thread except for “JC” are fucking awful.

  19. Jack London's sober moment

    looks like SNL got it right–he’s been chugging milk on his balcony and reminiscing. or maybe he just got done wrestling Paul Ryan for old times sake.

  20. Mitt Romney Pumping Gas Reddit
    Commented on this photo:

    Go away!

  21. Joaquin ingles

    He’s looking more and more like Martin Sheen’s character in the Dead Zone.

  22. AndyDufresne

    We liberals are keeping it classy as always.

  23. Mitt Romney Pumping Gas Reddit
    Commented on this photo:

    His hair looks so much grayer since last we saw him. Hum….I wonder why. (#fakeman)

  24. Stick to boobies, Fish.

  25. cc

    BTW, anyone here spend much time in Salt Lake City or Utah in general? Do Mormon girls put out?

    • USDA Prime McBeef

      they put out kids. seriously, utah is the land of MILF and honey.
      22 year old chicks with 2 kids.

      • KC

        22 year old chicks with 2 kids and pregnant with their third.*

        I’m just kidding, one of the Mormon girls I went to high school with waited until she was 24 to get pregnant with her third, but she and her husband did make a conscious decision to take a break between kid two and three “so they could enjoy themselves.”

  26. zomgbie

    looks like hes past hitting the bottle.
    hes moved on to drinking open gas pumps in gas stations.
    poor mitt.

  27. Montana

    Jeez guys, that’s just the JBF hair he got as a reward for taking his wife to a Twilight movie. Which is the ONLY reason to go to a Twilight movie… Also a GOOD reason. LADIES?

  28. I would feel like the biggest idiot if I could not beat a guy in an election who is not even a citizen of the country but then again Romney was not going to get the 85% of the white vote to pull it off. With the reproduction rates of the various ethnicities in the country, Republicans will never win another national election. The entire nation will be like South Africa or California in about 20 years

    • KTC

      What does that even mean? South Africa is the most developed country in Africa?? And as a Californian, I can say you are certainly just jealous. It’s gorgeous here, but it’s also a very big state and there are still very solidly conservative parts of it, i.e. why gay marriage and pot for recreational use are now going to be legal in Washington state and were not even on the ballot in California this year and are certainly not legal. And Republicans could win another election in this country if they abandon absolute batshit like this birther nonsense. We are a country with a 2 party system, it’s frankly not fair and not in our best interest to let one side win all the time, and everyone can recognize that. We deserve to have a vigorous political debate on both sides of the aisle, and as a consistent voting Democrat I’d actually really like to hear more Republican and conservative opinions on say, what we should do next in Afghanistan and how we can support these massive numbers of veterans & how we can implement fiscal reform that doesn’t entirely squash business as I’ve found the prevailing Democratic ideas on these tough problems uninspiring at best. I may never vote against the liberal side of things, but I have a lot of respect for the longstanding tradition of conservatives being smarter about defense (Dubya as a notable exception and yes even your sainted Regean too when it came to Iran Contra…I’m thinking more along the lines of say, Eisenhower and Teddy Roosevelt) and how to make big business grow. ….But instead, we don’t talk about any of that, people like you are making us argue about utter bullshit. Did you trust our government to vet say, President George W. Bush and verify that he is a natural born citizen? What about, oh, Ronald Reagan? Then why don’t you trust it for President Obama? Does it really have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with the fact that he’s a biracial man with the name Barack Hussein Obama??? Oh wait, no no, here is where you start screaming that tI’m being fantastically naive and stupid and that there of course IS evidence but because he’s some kind of magic super powerful McGyver President, Obama managed to force every arm of the government to cover it up?? The vetting process that verifies that a candidate can become President happens BEFORE the President becomes President, probably around the time that it’s clear a candidate will receive either the GOP or the Dems nomination and they are assigned a Secret Service detail. And Mitt Romney knows all that too, which is why he, and every other national Republican leader, never dared to suggest such a ridiculously offensive notion to the President’s face.

  29. He looks like he’s been on a bender for a few weeks.

  30. truth

    this pussy can’t hold it together…thank god he’s not in office

  31. kel

    Ironically, he has a strong resemblance to Big Bird in this photo.

  32. Ripley's Believe It Or Not

    Hey, Mitt -


  33. This is him in between marathon bouts of watching Mormon undead porn, I mean Breaking Dawn.

  34. Mitt Romney Pumping Gas Reddit
    Commented on this photo:

    Nick Nolte is looking better.

  35. Joe Blow

    How do you say… SCHADENFREUDE!

    You lose, loser!

  36. Marcus

    I love political debates on celebrity blogs. It’s such an awesome platform !

  37. Burt

    Of course he’s holding up. It’s not as if losing the election means he won’t be able to feed his kids and the bank will repossess his home. Those are real people problems.

  38. Mitt Romney Pumping Gas Reddit
    Commented on this photo:

    poor mitt.
    wandering around gas mini marts offering everyone free gifts while fondling himself.

  39. Is the new Howard Hughes biopic?

  40. Mitt Romney Pumping Gas Reddit
    Commented on this photo:

    He should be holding up he still has $250 million. We got four more years of Obummer.

  41. Carla

    Good riddance to riddance to draft-dodging, trust-fund company blood-sucking, job-offshoring, Joeseph Smith-ballsucking trash.

    • Jealous c*nt- maybe if you werent such a stupid b*tch – you might have a chance at success. Now, back to the stripper pole Ho. Oh and your pimp Barry is a Muslim Pig.

      • sandy beaches are only good for getting sand in your crack

        Hey Bitch, you are a perfect example of a refuglian, nasty and very angry. Take the pickle out of your ass and get used to the fact that Obama won. Always laugh at the ‘tards calling people jealous, shows how shallow they are themselves. Romney is a loser and so are you.

      • Carla

        Indeed they are ;)~

  42. Mitt Romney Pumping Gas Reddit
    Commented on this photo:

    “…probably was raised in a barn, along with the other primitives.”

  43. Tom Cruise's Magical Penis

    Loved him as Exidor on Mork & Mindy

  44. Mitt Romney Pumping Gas Reddit
    Commented on this photo:

    “The Hang Over (part 4)”?…all he’s missing is the Mike Tyson face tattoo.

  45. Mitt Romney Pumping Gas Reddit
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s NOT Gary Busey?

  46. And That Fraud Barry Obama looks like curious f*cking George. Barry is a crack head, popcorn pimp.

    • Joe Blow

      …and he beat your guy in the election. Make your peace with it. Better yet, don’t. Your sour grapes, they make funny to me.

  47. vanmas

    obummer sux. FYI he’s a rich man too!

  48. Mitt Romney Pumping Gas Reddit
    Commented on this photo:

    Only the Obamazoids would think a conservative worth $250-300 million pumping his own gas is something to celebrate.

  49. Patrick A. Gallimore

    The only comment I have to make, about, that photo of Mitt Romney, is, that, it’s the first time that I’ve seen his hair out of place, lol…I wish him and his family only the best, for, the future.

  50. Mitt Romney Pumping Gas Reddit
    Commented on this photo:

    Bruce Campbell is looking old.

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