Miss Louisiana Teen proves her state is, in fact, full of giant idiots

October 22nd, 2008 // 104 Comments

Jamie Lynn Spears can rest easy today. There’s someone in Louisiana dumber than she is – sort of. Maybe. Shit, let’s call it a tie. Anyway, Miss Louisiana Teen USA Lindsey Evans was stripped of her title today after she was busted pulling a “dine-and-dash” at a restaurant over the weekend. Turns out she left her purse at the scene. Her purse full of pot. SWISH! TMZ reports:

We just got an advance copy of a statement that will be released from Paula Miles, President of RPM, sponsor of the LA. pageant.
“Lindsey Evans has been part of an organization that believes in opportunities when earned and consequences when warranted. Due to recent circumstances, Lindsey has been relieved of her duties as Miss Louisiana Teen USA 2008 effective immediately.”
Here’s the insult to injury. She only had 10 days left on her reign. But pageant officials didn’t have the patience to wait.

Somewhere, the Spears’ family is celebrating that retarded news came out of Louisiana, and this time it wasn’t about them: “Gotdamn, it weren’t us this time! Wait, hold on, Britnay’s callin’. She done swallowed a quarter again. Jamie Lynn stop having unprotected sex for a dang-gone minute and help ya sister. And quit putting your baby in the mikerwave. The good Lord didn’t give us a dishwasher for nothin’.”

superficial

  1. Rachel

    Did anybody else notice that she looks just like Porn Star Bree Olson? I thought it was her at first.

  2. Ted from LA

    Rachel,
    I don’t watch porn. It’s not the moral thing to do. Plus, the lighting is always so bad.

  3. Kahlee

    #48 why would the English be any more inbred than the Japanese or the Spanish? Don’t just write shit.

    and 36 I like America.

  4. irony

    The name “Australia” is derived from the Latin Australis, meaning “Southern”.

  5. Poor Louisiana…we can’t catch a damn break! I used to be ashamed to say that I was a born and bred Louisianian. Now I feel like I have to stand up and declare that there are, in fact, intelligent, classy people from my wonderful home state. We’re not ALL redneck idiots.

    Now, Cletus, rev up the engine on that there tractor-trailer. Mama’s gotta run us over sum dinner!

  6. whistle

    @36 were you referring to the question given that miss teen USA candidate where they asked her about African children not being able to locate America on a map? Because you seem to be confused… no one has ever reported that our own country’s children cannot identify America on a map. They in fact can.

  7. Danklin24

    She’s kinda ugly in the second pic. Hard to believe she got miss teen anything.

  8. oh wow

    i was supposed to be with her the night they got arrested but i went to work instead. so glad.

    & ps.. #25&28…she has no nudes so don’t waste your time looking.

  9. A. Sanderson

    born and raised in louisiana form “liberal”parents..we were really outcasts being atheists and slightly left economically. i went to louisiana state university and graduated in law and moved to the netherlands and couldnt be happier. people in the south, since they only know their neighbors, really dont know how uneducated they are. there are exceptions to the rule of course ive met a lot of intelligent people in louisiana but they are few and far inbetween. this loser b*tch is the typical c*nt i met in high school who thought because shes pretty she can do whatever she wants to without any consquences. guess what princess, ur times up. not even mcdonalds will take you back.

  10. Imagine, whats going on with the ones thats not in the media!!! whats in the water down there, Louisiana!

  11. Balls McCoy

    Rachel, I was thinking the same thing, she does look like Bree Olsen except I’m not used to seeing w/o a black dong in her mouth.

  12. Miserable Bastard

    @53
    “Don’t just write shit.”

    Read some genetic research studies. It’s been estimated that as high as 80% of the white population of England (less so Ireland, Wales and Scotland) share similar genetic markers almost as far back as the Ice Age. Remember, it’s an island.

  13. Miserable Bastard

    And it’s common knowledge that the British royal family are all cousin-fuckers.

  14. tmhs

    Having lived in the north and south, I can safely say that there are stupid people everywhere.

  15. John

    #43 I am not from California but I am living here now and I can say that the people here are the most air headed, out of touch, easily lead, splineless, liberal, flag burning, STUPID people in America. “Hey bro, let’s get a fish taco then go get our hair and nails done”. I’ll take the south anyday over these panzies.

  16. Golly gee

    When I first moved to California, I thought a bunch of narrow-minded people out here might look down on me for being a southerner. Now, my home state is able to catch up to Cali in terms of retards. Let’s see: Louisiana = Britney, Jamie Lynn, and some Miss Teen La. California = Paris Hilton, Heidi Montag, Spencer Pratt (hell, the whole cast of The Hills)….I could go on.
    Hmmm…now it seems silly to me that anyone would judge me.

  17. Enjoy the Netherlands

    Wow, #59, you must be really bitter that you got your education from such a stupid state. I’ll pray for you

  18. Yank and wank they rhyme for a reason

    @36 – well said @37 STFU you are CANADIAN for fucks sake, enough said, so sit down and button it!! Australia and Europe are where it is at so be quiet you thick ignorant North Americans and take your pills or whatever it is that you take that has got you morons in to the state you are in.

  19. Kim

    How sad that some of you choose this forum to post your hatred(s) and prejudiice(s)! I’ve traveled to many states and have been in contact with both intelligent and ignorant individuals in each. I’ve seen Kentucky hillbillies, Tennessee and North Carolina mountain folk, Louisiana cajuns, etc. The diversity that we have is what makes this country great. Not all individuals are alike. We all speak differently depending upon where we are from, we walk differently, have different tastes, etc. I’ve seen trailer parks in Colorado, Kentucky, Tennessee, Louisiana, California, etc. I’ve seen expensive homes in all of these states as well. Ignorance is not located in one state alone, and, it seems to be running wild on this site. Yes this girl made a stupid choice. Yes it was dumb. How many of us have not made dumb choices and made mistakes in our lives? And if you are honest you will answer yes, and, I bet all of the yes answers will represent a lot of states in our country.

  20. @65 – Attempt to speak to people who don’t live at the beach. There is a solid reason Cali has the 5th largest economy in the world – a reason that has nothing to do with fish tacos.

  21. friendlystoner

    @36
    i love stereotypes cos they`re a good source of amusment, i myself am english (insert bad teeth and tea jokes here). But i must say its a bit rich that your ripping amercicans for being stupid, particulary as your from australia. I mean you do realise we founded your country then emptied are jails of as much scum as possible and dumped them there. so really your all descendant of theives, rapist and murders. how do you like that for stereotyping?
    by the way how did you do lot in the last 2 rugby world cups, oh thats right us brits put you down!!!!

  22. pointandlaugh

    #23 —- LOL agreed. She is a mega-butterface. Nice rack though.

  23. Megan

    You know, I can’t decide if #9 is serious… And #71.. Not that you don’t make a few points, but your spelling is absolutely atrocious.

  24. sameshitdifferentyear

    That cold exterior looks like a thin front.
    She swallows.

  25. Kristen

    @36 ~ That’s the first time I’ve heard an Australian ever say anything hateful towards Americans, and I visit an Australian news source quite often. Usually they are all like “Yeah, I don’t hate Americans, but I hate George Bush/American policy, etc” – very polite people.
    Alas, Our public schools may be sub-par, but our universities are ranked best in the world (http://www.topuniversities.com/worlduniversityrankings/results/2007/overall_rankings/)! Guess who attends those schools? American students. In addition, American children can locate the US on a map – I’d like to see where you derived that little “fact” from. I’ve never heard of such a study!

    On topic, I am Southern as well – have gotten used to the little jokes and stereotypes. Some Southerners even like to segregate themselves from the rest of us – “Oh, Southerners are so stupid and ignorant. I’m going to like in NYC or Cali!”. They (mostly) always come back home though – the people and the tea are sweet :).

  26. sameshitdifferentyear

    Let’s clear something up about that second pic guys.

    1. Her skin is slightly reddish in slight patches. Pointing out the simple obvious, this is because she is a TEENAGER with RAGING HORMONES that are OUT OF CONTROL.
    Think about that for 65 seconds. Really think about it.

    2. Her eyes might be a little bloodshot from smoking blunts excessively.

    Her fuckin face is fucking absolutely adorable, you see her on the street and you’re following her like a puppy dog.

    Photographs are infamous for adding 10 pounds, but they are lesser known for also emphasizing any discoloration on chicks’ faces. This girl’s the real deal, check out some of those pics next to her competition in the pageant.

  27. Gordo

    99% of the considerable idiocy posted on this site hails from California, the lunatic capitol of the world. Louisiana is small, small potatoes compared to that.

  28. Why I oughta… Seriously though was it kush or just some regular old bud? Cause if it was purple haze Ima come over there roite now and slap her across the jawbone.

  29. Mark From Louisiana

    All you need to do is watch TruTV for a half hour to understand that idiots are pretty evenly distributed throughout our United States, and while Louisiana – my home state – has it’s share of interesting characters, you find them everywhere.

    If you ever have the opportunity to venture out of your parent’s basement and visit our state you will find some of the most intelligent people you’ll ever meet..

  30. LSUnay

    Thanks Gordo! I was thinkin’ the same thing!! I am from Louisiana and am very proud of where I live! I would NEVER reside in a place as liberal, SHALLOW, and FULL OF IDIOTS as California!!

  31. Uh, wait, is it just me or is this little teeny bopper sporting a pair of implants?

  32. amen #17

    Fellow Southerner, you beat me to the punch. Well said!

  33. Evil

    Next time the south wants to leave, let them…

  34. be sure folks:
    NOT ONLY IN LOUISIANA.
    ENTIRE AMERICA IS FULL OF IT!!

  35. literarycritic

    @#81: It’s not just you.

  36. Astrid

    #36, shut the fuck up and stop trying to speak for all of us.

  37. Infection "down under" ?

    When most people think of Australia, they think of kangaroos and vegemite…

    When I think of Australia, the first thing that pops into my head is the fact that they have the highest percentage of herpes-infected people than any other country on earth.

    So apparently Australians have no problem locating thier country on a map, they just can’t seem to locate the condom aisle at the drug store. (or another un-infected Australian– that is, if there is such a thing.)

  38. whoaaaaaa

    She looks like a possum.

  39. Let me get this straight. She’s smoking hot, has high culinary standards and refuses to pay for poor restaurant service, her breasts are naturally perfect, and she also smokes weed? She’s perfect.

    PS: Lindsey Evans it’s time to step up to this!

  40. michy

    Americans are fat

  41. hendero

    But if she left a whole bag of money (and weed) behind, how is that a dine ‘n’ dash? She’ll be doing Girls Gone Wild this time next year.

  42. Pilatunes

    I’d happily donate a white substance to help cover up that blotchiness in the right hand photo. Come to think of it, I’d do it twice. No cream pies for Miss Evans.

  43. Mr Hobbes

    I think the picture on the right is much hotter

  44. ph7

    She looks BAD without makeup and airbrushing.

  45. Kathleen

    YEAH WEED!

  46. KoT

    #20 … I’m a “moran”? Spellcheck, dipshit! No need to respond any further!

    #21 … USC (Crenshaw) undergrad, Tulane Law School … I chose returning to the south because we actually have hot women here with REAL tits, REAL hair, REAL personalities, and COOL people! Fuck LA and the weather. Not a selling point.

    Come check out my house, buddy … just might put your double-wide to shame. Don’t like “y’all”? FUCK YOU! I don’t like “DUDE, I’M LIKE SOOOO STONED, MAN!”

    You don’t like my state? Stay the fuck out of here for Mardi Gras, JazzFest, and about 30 other festivals that are world renowned across this great state! We don’t need your bail-out money!

  47. libbi again

    1. There have been studies, I dont remember the exact number but a very large percentage of American children cant find America on a map.

    2. Australia is not inbred. At all.

    3. I dont hate America- but every American I have ever met (Oh, I have met alot- And I’ve been there a few times) has been very illogical, dim witted or ridiculously self centred.

    3. We say Prawn, Not Shrimp- we only say shrimp when speaking to foreigners.

    4. Kangaroos and Koalas are endangered, you dont see many unless you go outback.

    @71- I Tip my hat you- I don’t follow rugby (or afl) because they’re queerer than picnic baskets but yes, yes you did whup the Aussies.

    But you do realize most of the ‘scum’ you emptied into Australia were just peasants your Feudal government locked up for stealing bread or robbing people becuase they were poor due to the economic struggles englad had post the reveloution?

    And I am an Italian Australian. So no vegimite for me :D

  48. Wow…, she is pretty and gorgeous. BTW, my brother told me he saw her profile and photos at an age gap dating club **AgelessOnly.c o m**. She has written some blogs a few days ago. Maybe you should have a look.

  49. Bostonian

    To #9

    Saying something like “Don’t y’all have” is not a good way to defend your (un)intelligence. There may be a rare exception, but for the most part anyone that says “y’all” is uneducated. I believe it is actually a fact that people from Louisiana are the least intelligent of all states. Half of you can barely even speak without sounding retarded.

  50. Burt Reynolds

    I’d hit that.

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