Apparently something besides Breaking Bad was on last night, (What for? Who the fuck knows?) and it was the Miss America pageant which crowned Miss New York Nina Davuluri the winner opening a racist butthurt wormhole over the Internet because she’s one of those brown looking people from the Middle East. Or, I dunno, a natural-born American citizen of Indian descent who practices Hinduism, but let’s just call her a Muslim terrorist who caused 9/11 anyway, said shit-pieces of humanity on Twitter. Which is strange because I could’ve sworn I’ve been repeatedly told racism is over in America because we elected a black president, so I’ll just assume these are his New Secret West Coast Black Panthers trying to make white people look bad. God, the trickery never ends with their kind.

NOTE: These are screencapped from Buzzfeed because these people are, understandably, deleting this shit, and hopefully learning a valuable lesson of racism: Keep it secret and quiet, and then implement it once you’re in a position of power which you will be because you’re white. Amirite? High fives!

Racist Miss America Tweets

Too bad India isn’t even an Arabic country, nor is AMERICA where Nina Davuluri was born, but I realize that’s getting too far advanced for these people. The important thing here is that an actual Arab didn’t win one of our beauty contests because surely Satan would emerge from the mantle of Earth and devour us whole if that ever happened. I have foreseen it.

In the meantime, here are the fucknozzles who thought Nina’s win was way too close to the anniversary of 9/11, a terrorist attack committed by Muslims from Saudi Arabia, not Hindus from Indi- I’m wasting my fingers even typing this.

Racist Miss America Tweets

And now for the part where I genuinely feel bad for Miss Kansas Theresa Vail who’s getting dragged into this shitstorm because she’s a country-type blonde who lost to a “gotdamn terrorist,” and judging by her Twitter, is handling her defeat gracefully with poise and class on top of being a soldier who fights for all Americans to live and worship freely:

Miss Kansas Real Miss America

So Theresa Vail should’ve won because she likes huntin’ and shootin’? Jesus Christ. How about a more intelligent argument like she has bigger tits? It’s simple, it’s to the point, and most importantly, if true, unmasks the real terrorism at the very heart of this situation. It’s like you aren’t even trying.

Photos: Getty