Mischa engaged to dirty hippie, could’ve had Leo

Superficial / December 25, 2005

tn_cisco_mischa_cr.jpgDespite repeated phone calls to Fox, pigeon couriers and a restraining order, I’ve failed in my attempt to keep Mischa from getting serious with Weird Al Yankovic’s bastard love child. She’s going to marry Cisco Adler in February, and now all I can do is sob uncontrollably whilst watching my O.C. DVDs, fantasizing about what could have been. At least I’m not alone. Mischa’s publicist Craig Schneider tried to pimp her out to Leonardo DiCaprio, but probably would have had better luck selling condoms to the Hilton sisters.

She claims when she and Craig spotted the ‘Titanic’ star at a photoshoot, he turned to her and said: ‘For the sake of your career, go and sleep with that man.’ But the sexy star said she was put off dating DiCaprio because he is ten years older than her, adding: ‘Isn’t Leo like, 30, or something?’

So instead Mischa goes with a dropout from the K-Fed school of suck. I don’t know why I’m worried. If Kimberly Stewart couldn’t bring herself to marry this guy, I’m sure Mischa will move on to a new dirtbag in a couple of weeks. And by dirtbag, I mean Nick Lachey. You’ll see.

Mischa Barton set to wed in February [Monsters and Critics]