Mischa Barton tanning, hopefully

January 5th, 2006 // 49 Comments

  1. mikeski

    She must, she must, she must increase her bust.

  2. Sheva

    No, she doesn’t have to and she actually looks better in these photos. Not that she cares what we think. Oh yeah, she does.

    Keep rubbing on that ointment honey.

  3. Hara

    Whoever that guy is has Really skinny knees.

    It’s kinda freaking me out actually.

  4. Hara

    … and woman hands… and Really long hair. waiiit a second!

  5. diddleysquat

    Not a big fan of hers, but she’s looking good here…Nice position on the hug too…SQUEEZE DAT AZZ!

  6. Binky

    Naw, Look at the grease on her afterwards. It was obviously ‘Crisco’ Adler. (The Greeks are all like that apparently)

  7. The Devil

    What is “Cisco lotion?” Is that what they grease routers with to speed network packets?

  8. ZoomBoy

    I’d prefer Sisqo grease… she’s got dumps like a truck, truck…

  9. PapaHotNuts

    Hara- you’re right. Those knees can’t be the knees of a man. It looks like Cisco traded legs with a chicken and the chicken got fucked in the deal.

  10. I had to imdb “Mischa Barton” to figure out who she was. Then I realized I don’t really care. Then I felt pathetic.

  11. supergirllover

    Whatever happened while these pictures were being taken seemed to bore and annoy her. We now know being young, thin, rich and pretty is no way to live. Old, fat, poor and ugly is the way to be!
    Rocknrope don’t feel pathetic. I only know who she is through The Superficial, Go Fug Yourself and Star Magazine. She and a bunch of these other starlets suck! They are so boring and cookie cutter. I don’t bother anymore.

  12. Bob Denver

    Rachel Bilson looks about 100x better than Mischa. I’d coat Rachel like a glazed donut… oh wait, someone already used that yesterday… damn it!

  13. Realistic

    If you look at the sequencemore closely you can clearly see what happened. Mischa and young Cisco were frollicking in the woods when suddenly a deer tick attached itself to her chest. Thinking quickly, Cisco grabbed her and bit the vermin off her chest. Mischa is seen applying a anti-Lime disease salve in the second photo.

  14. celebritywhore

    Cisco Lotion! lol. Mischa barton is gross. She looks like a guy I went to highschool with, only he’s prettier.

  15. greekdiva

    “Naw, Look at the grease on her afterwards. It was obviously ‘Crisco’ Adler. (The Greeks are all like that apparently)” (6)

    Excuse me? Greeks are like that apparently?!
    My whole family is Greek…apparently none of us are like that.

  16. lebowski

    First, my nana makes doilys like that, but she’s not hip enough to sew straps on them like mischa is.
    Second, mischa looks like a mid-priced hooker nervously giving herself a breast exam.

  17. Mez

    Have Mischa and Cisco swapped hair?

  18. sammygirl

    Cisco Adler is Greek?? What’s his real name, Costa Adleropoulos?

  19. Binky

    15 Oh come on Diva – next you’re gonna say your weddings aren’t ‘big’ and ‘fat’ ( and if you believe any of these comments – you gotta get out more grrl !! )

  20. WaitWhat?

    GREEKDIVA — denial will get you nowhere fast.

  21. That Afghan she’s wearing is going to give her some weird tan lines.

  22. PhilofPhilosophy

    Ok, she’s pale. Do-able if I was drunk. She hasn’t been in a movie for god knows how long. Take this shizzen off of here. Give us something more juicy.

  23. Belle

    Fred Facker is right, that crocheted halter (and I’m not kidding, that’s literally what that style is called) would give her bizarre tan lines, especially with all the slinky low cut tops she wears on ‘The OC’.. She can’t really be suntanning..

    Plus, the fake bake, if I’m correct, is the way all the stars really go when they need a tan; too much sun makes you wrinkly and saggy, I doubt there are many starlets who risk that.

    Maybe she’s trying to keep her semi-pale skin and is applying sunscreen (note the lotion in her hands is white; tanning lotion is always at least an off white). Okay, and I officially have way too much time on my hands that I just took the time to analyze Mischa Barton’s sunbathing habits.

  24. HughJorganthethird

    Whenever I read about this no talent stick figure and her obviously shower-impaired boyfriend all I can think is : When the fuck is Al Queda going to come through on it’s promise to kidnap and excecute celebrites ?

    Then again these two barely count as celebrities so the odds of them getting offed are pretty small.

    Fuck it, start with Tom Cruise.

  25. derekd

    Nice joke The Devil. Unfortunately only 1% of the general population knows what the fuck your talking about. I know the show this chick is in is in the top 10 but really who cares? This show is the modern Beverely Hills 90210 and we all know the power thespians that show produced.

  26. esther sativa

    lol is anyone noticing they both look like amputees in the photos??

  27. The Devil


    “Nice joke The Devil. Unfortunately only 1% of the general population knows what the fuck your talking about.”

    Busted. No wonder people look at me funny when I’m talking to them…vacant stares.

  28. yeahhhh

    she’s got the muffin top look going on

  29. HollyJ

    I like her rapturous smile the best.

  30. bafongu

    C’mon now, you’d all hop on that chop chop! May be stupid, may be dumb, but y’all come runnin when the diner bell call! She’s just going through her “I need a puke maggot boyfriend” phase. Next will be the older guy, followed by the lesbian tryst, then finishing up with a Kaballa yogie. Textbook.

  31. doom

    Goddamn, she isn’t as anorexic as i thought she was, in fact, she’s hot!

  32. Who the hell is Misca Barton?

  33. babyrainny

    Holy crap, she’s sporting muffin top! Too much beer giveth thee lovehandleth.

  34. Tha-Flash

    I want her to have bigger breasts please!

    I don’t care if the guy has skinny knees, it’s better than having FAT knees.

  35. AmberDextrose

    Hm, it took until comment 29 for someone to mention the muffin top. That makes me feel better about mine, which is about the same level. Hurrah, I’m only as fat as MissCack Barfon!

  36. am i the only one that smells a paris hiton in the making? the signs are all there dating ugly men , wearing skanny clothes, hanging out with biology skeletons(aka nicole ritchie) and just look all aroud slutty. i dont like or care about this woman she on a show that reminds me of bh 90210( which was a good show ) just with really horrid actors and bad wardrobe and she kind of looks like shit i took one time only thing the shit had more talent and was less likely to give me disaease than she is. i have a question i need one woman any woman to tell me they would date that would date that thing beast butt prirate she calls a man if i can find one sane non braindead or drugged beyond belief woman to date him fro who he is and get pass the fact he looks like he sleep under a bridge every night just because then i will know the world is coming to an end and it is time for me to atone and give up my vast and by vast i mean one porno collection.

  37. nob

    It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again…

  38. Mez

    Deep breaths, Kikileblue, deep breaths…

  39. The Devil

    LOL @ “nob” (#37)

  40. What is the face that she is making in the third photo?

    One of my friends gets like that everytime he uses cocaine. We say he’s eating an invisible hoagie.

  41. hafaball

    looks like he went limp noodle due to his walking away in shame, and her pissed off look, but when did she get boobies?

  42. Yup, that’s man gravy all right.

  43. haggardtrish

    Someone as thin as she is REALLY has no excuse for having flab hang over the top of her skirt. Buy bottoms that fit!

  44. breakitdown

    the reason why some fat is hanging over the tops is because she has her legs a bit parted. makeing her bottoms press into her. shes skinny and hot

  45. PostAcidYouth

    Am I the only one who thinks pale girls can be hot without being a faint shade of unwashed?

    Not that I give two hoots about Mischa Barton.

  46. Genius

    mishca barton does not look like a man at all I think your all just jealous cos u dnt look like her…..you must all be stunningly beautiful perfect people to making those kinda judgments, in fact im surprised you even have time to write into this debate, I would have thought you

  47. LaydeeBug

    Hey Genius, Go Eff yourself, you’re in the wrong website. Sammygirl, you are so effing funny, I love your comments. And Mischa, I liked her when she was puking in the tent in “The Sixth Sense” after being poisoned and dead and coming back to haunt HJ Osment. Say, that’s a good ides…..hmmmm.

    Once again, it doesn’t matter how “beautiful” you are, if you’re a cunt, your a cunt and no one likes you.

  48. yeah, she’s got so much on her mind http://hollywoodsnark.com

  49. Gregory

    “Holy crap, she’s sporting muffin top! Too much beer giveth thee lovehandleth.” -babyrainny
    Shut up you shallow idiot

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