Mischa Barton really doesn’t know how to dress herself

February 14th, 2007 // 67 Comments

  1. fame is funny


  2. fame is funny

    no wait, first first! shit!

  3. BarbadoSlim

    Apparently she’s also forgotten how to bathe. The stench of Adler testicle must be overpowering.

  4. Colden Whett

    maybe it’s some sort of fire suit – can you you find the clever guy smoking at the gas station?

  5. fame is funny

    Lol, that guy IS smoking like two feet from an open gas tank.

  6. danielle

    So that’s where my brown bag lunch went to!

    What the hell were you doing in my fridge Mischa?

  7. woodhorse

    after spending so much time with Cisco’s ball sac, all she can think is sack, sack, sack, suspenders to hold up sack, sack, high boots to avoid stepping on sack, sack, sack……

  8. kij200

    she pulls it off and u know it…
    if it was rosie o donnell it would be a diff story..

  9. MrSemprini

    Mischa Barton gets some gas
    Looks like someone has real class
    What’s she drinking?
    Is it oil?
    What a bag that’s on that goil. (go ahead, you know you want to.)
    Look at Spot, he wants to run.
    Being her dog is not much fun.
    Ride in cars from morn till dark.
    Want to poo, hear my bark!

    That, my friends, is poetry. Unfortunately, Mischa is not. Poetry, I mean. Well, she’s kinda like a limerick. But, not one of the funny ones.

  10. blumoo

    I grew up in Idaho, and I never wore a sack like that — not even at the potato fair. I think she’s been tea bagged a few two many times.

  11. NicotineEyePatch

    She’ll probably be teabagged any minute now from across the parking lot.
    “Hey, YO, Mischa! – run in and get me some Slim Jims, bitch!”

  12. WiseMan

    Nothing special, just another whore.

  13. Hye, that’s just easy access.

    Just flip the dress up.

  14. nycjgalt

    Talentless wooden actress with an over-active publicist.

  15. Spetsnaz

    #4 & #5
    You can put out your cigarette in gasoline and nothing would happen. There’s not enough energy to light the fumes.

  16. Captain Walleye

    I agree with #8 and #13. I think she pulls it off. It’s sexy in that it leaves a little mystery to what is underneath but not much. I’d like to put my nozzle in her tank.

  17. Doxes

    I will never again be able to see pics of Mischa Barton without thinking of knee-length testicles. *shudder*

  18. crazyotto

    I’d shag her silly,yeah baby….(does that sound dated?)

  19. priapus


    you’re probably right about the fumes, but…
    i’ll need video evidence re: putting your cigarette out in gasoline.

  20. The boots ARE bad!

  21. rrd

    She looks great!

  22. RichPort

    Even when she’s smiling, she looks like she’s about to take a shit.

  23. whitegold

    #15 – You lie!!! Didn’t you see the tragic accident in Zoolander!!! I refuse to believe that something in that movie wasn’t 100% accurate!!! ;o)

  24. whitegold

    As for Mischa, in that outfit she does look kinda hot in some pics, but she’s got pretty bad legs in my opinion. They just seem so blob like, no tone or shape or anything to them?!

  25. fritobandito

    I had those boots once. They came with a pirate costume with a plastic pirates mask. I wore it for halloween when I was 5. Maybe having Ciscos ballsac dangling in front of her nose has cut off her oxygen and she just doesn’t know she looks like shit! She oughta be gassing up the short bus!

  26. fritobandito

    You know what would really make the outfit? If she could craft Cisco’s ballsac into some sort of purse. She could fit A LOT in that bag!!!!

  27. ponk

    it’s too bad she thought enough to cut a hole for her head.


  29. Jenster

    does a hit show and some $$$ allow you to dress like a total fucking idiot?
    With all that money, you’d think SOMEONE would tell them how retarded they look.

  30. fame is funny

    #15 yeah, and you can go out in public dressed like half a UPS uniform…doesn’t make it the best idea, now does it? Number 19 is right, go ahead and try it, let us know how all that goes. Because we really care. Seriously.

  31. belle

    God that dress is hideous! But it has a chance…if it had more shape (cinched at the waist, and not at the bottom?) and was a better color it could be a little better. Also those boots make her legs look stubby and fat.

  32. Tracy

    I chalk it up to brain damage from being knocked in the head with those big coconuts.

  33. gap girls

    Just cinch it!

  34. aydien

    #15 is right. You need an OPEN flame to spark gas fumes. A cigarette is not an open flame, therefore it cannot ignite the fumes and it just gets extinguished in the gas. And for all of those who don’t know (not trying to down play the smart people, only the stupid ones) its the fumes that burn.

  35. wedgeone

    #17 – I agree. PHEW!!
    #25 – considering that Cisco was going for that “naked Capt. Jack Sparrow” look, I would assume that she borrowed his boots.

    All in all, these are the best photos of Mischa that the Fish has posted in quite a while. She almost looks doable – then I remember that Cisco’s ball sack bruised her belly button the last time they went doggie style.
    (shudder) (twitch).

  36. misanthrope

    @6… That’s a big lunch!

    @27… tee hee!

    She looks… saggy.

  37. RichPort

    #28 – Not much longer now, huh Wally? Just don’t be a dick and take out some innocent mall shoppers before you commit suicide by cop, at one mile an our, as you furiosly wheel your invalid ass toward them. Everytime I think I’ve hit bottom with you, you bring a fucking shovel.

    Fake RichPort in 3… 2… 1…

  38. inlovewithjolie

    wut car si she driving?

  39. BarbadoSlim

    NERD! is what what I would call anyone who posts about gasoline putting out cigarettes if there’s no spark….oh wait, my bad #15.

  40. ch474

    Hey look! A picture of a dog.

  41. lambman

    well, she managed to get this site to give her free press for doing nothing again.

    I say score one for the potato queen.

  42. Lowlands

    I don’t know what kind of dress she’s wearing.I can only figure out that this dress was made outta Cisco’s redundant ballsac-skin.I see there was also enough left to make a pair of matching boots.

  43. Colden Whett

    #15 and #34 – Thank you both, Capt & Lt. Literal. I didn’t really think that she’s wearing a fire-retardant suit, either. And they don’t put the “no smoking” signs up at gas stations because they’re worried that somebody’s going to fill up a bucket with gas and then use it as an ashtray. As a pack-a-day smoker and former gas station attendant, I can see many a coincidence where that cigarette could’ve caused Miss Hefty to be launched across the street. And before you say it, yes, I know that cigarettes cause cancer.

  44. Juliabella

    in pic #3, it seems like she has to think a lot befor she could pay for her gaz…..it’s so hard to pay for gaz these days…omg, I have to slide my card??? WTF???

  45. grape

    I don’t want to sound mean but she wears those stupid parachute dresses to cover her ridiculously wide hips. She’s like a swizzel stick from the side and a fucking mack truck from front on.

  46. deez bananas

    she’s holding her credit card funny

  47. dancehallcrasher75

    She is wearing this outfit so Cisco will not find her attractive, and never want her to get naked again, thus saving her from ever laying eyes on his naked body. It’s a win-win situation for both. Oh, and the rest of the sighted people of the world.

  48. Isn’t it cute how much she looks like her dog?

  49. CarlosKavros

    I watched Hannibal Rising, yesterday (Tu.13.2.07.) whilst trapped in England suffering my major passport obstruction, and Mischa was the forename of one of the main (child) characters – this made me think of Barton School, Somerset, England a school attended by my worst imposter, a Mr. Andrew Branson alias ‘Mr. Lester Gray’ (also alias ‘Mr. Carlos Kavros’ i.e. me); he is one of the famous indentical octuplets fathered by Mr. Harold Branson alias ‘Mr. Richard Branson’ (the superfraud that was jailed many times in the early/mid-1990s for fraudulently claiming to be founder/chairman of Virgin (and that featured in the U.S.A. media as so)).

    Hannibal Lecter is one of Mr. Harold Branson’s alias ‘Mr. Richard Branson’s’ weird pseudonyms and I suspect Gaspard Ulliel (adult Hannibal in Hannibal Rising) was re-enacting some of Mr. Andrew Branson alias ‘Mr. Lester Gray’s’ sinister antics of recent (2003 to 2006).

    Is Hannibal Rising the reason why Ms. Mishca Barton acquired some publicity here?! I.e. Mischa Lecter/Barton Infants School/Hannibal Lecter being a weird pseudonym of Mr. Harold Branson alias ‘Mr. Richard Branson’ and Barton Infants School (Somerset, England) being one of Mr. Andrew Branson’s alias ‘Mr. Lester Gray’s’ first schools.

    (My mother, a Ms. Carla Kavros, founded Virgin in April 1958, and these facts were publicized Worldwide including in U.S.A. national newspapers, in the early/mid-1990s).

  50. Clete

    I think I discarded that Home Economics reject a few years ago.
    Even someone with a shape could not pull off that glamour don’t. Hideous on all levels.

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