Mischa Barton can’t dress herself

April 20th, 2007 // 72 Comments

I’m not a fashion expert or anything, but having functioning eyes makes me more qualified to dress somebody than Mischa Barton. She looks like she had an old woman put together a superhero outfit from clothes she found in the garbage. She and Jessica Simpson should get together and start a “women who dress like they’re 100-years-old” club. And at every meeting they could like, I dunno, tuck their boobs into their pants or something.

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  1. jenius1083

    And I like her outfit…isn’t the I’m a homeless chick who gets my clothes from the garbage can in? Hey she has no meat on her..she has to stay warm some how..why not layers?

  2. lish520

    didn’t you know that ugly shorts hicked up to your boobs were in??

  3. Negatrice

    She IS blind. She dated Adler.
    Enough said.

  4. OMG, I didn’t even notice the jacket. WTF? Did she get lost in a Michael’s and an old lady make it for her??

  5. urockmysocks

    i see cellulite and cottage cheese…

  6. FRIST!!!

    Ok, if that’s the new style I’ll be the best lookin one on the planet!!!!

    Obviously because I refuse to wear pants like that…I mean WHAT THE FUCK???!!???

  7. FRIST!!!

    I think the people in the “fashion industry” are just totally fucking with these unoriginal celebs. “Hmmm…tellem Granny pants are all the rage in Europe…heh heh…let’s see if they’re stupid enough to buy it” heh heh. Damn right they are!!!!

  8. kamihi

    why is this news? she dated a guy with a ballsac hanging to his knees, she very obviously completely blind!

  9. HollyJ

    This chick is so stoned she hums Cisco Adler’s basset hound balls. Why are you surprised she can’t coordinate her clothes?

  10. Charm

    i think some people get so caught up in fashion and labels they forget to take a step back and see if they actually look good. If she had, the answer here would be ‘nope’.

  11. teetee

    Would you like some peaches with that cottage cheese?

  12. BarbadoSlim

    This talentless skanksack is trying to pass herself off as some kind of ironic hipster. All she manages is a dead-on impression of the single mother working the cash register at my local Rite-Aid

  13. chaunceygardner

    Isn’t she the stitchy-dead-bitchy from Nightmare Before Christmas?

  14. Looks like the summer edition of Mom Jeans…

  15. Figures. I finally chucked all my maternity jeans and they come back into style. Damned skinny bitches don’t leave us anything for our own.

  16. lookma_nohans

    Sweet! I’ve always had the hots for Minnie Mouse.

  17. outrageous.opinion

    OMG! She is wearing Jessica’s Pants, rolled up!

  18. Binky

    Is it just me ? Or do many people -even Misha – look a bit stressed lately ?
    Have a good weekend everybody.
    (And kudos to the Coll-Bear Nation)

  19. Binky


  20. woodhorse

    Thanks for clearing that up Fish. I knew Jessica’s new “high waisted” pants and those “shorts” Mischa were wearing didn’t look like they were made for a normal human torso – it’s because they are tucking their bazooms into the waistband!! Clever bitches! Now that pornish boob signing freak you exposed last week can’t get to them.

  21. woodhorse

    No, #9, even funnier. She quit dating Cisco after the public found out about his ball sac because she was so embarassed but those clothes don’t embarass her at all. I think that was the ball sac that slew Goliath, BTW.

  22. anothershityear

    she isn’t attractive enough to comment on, an ok face but that’s about it

  23. Don'tCallMeShirley

    I need to tell the homeless guy on my corner to watch his back.

  24. woodhorse

    Frist, we are all sad cases. If this truly catches on, we will all wear granny shorts and fake boot covers on our shoes. I am depressed.

  25. she looks like shit ,,,, how can you claim yourself a celebrity when you dont even know how to dress ,,, by the way ,,, do u know what makeup is honey ?

  26. MrSemprini

    File this one under “F” for Fugly

  27. sumnersgal

    #14 – SO TRUE!!!
    It reminds me of sorority hazing days!

  28. Yourfairytale

    Whoever decided that wearing pants with the waistband right under the nipples was fashionable is crazy…or spending too much time in a nursing home.

  29. Zannagirl

    For the love of all that is holy…how the crap could anyone ever get so caught up in trends that they could leave the house wearing that? I’m all for taking fashion risks and everything but I mean…dear god! My eyes are burning.

  30. Zannagirl

    For the love of all that is holy…how the crap could anyone ever get so caught up in trends that they could leave the house wearing that? I’m all for taking fashion risks and everything but I mean…dear god! My eyes are burning.

  31. Mommie(Brittney), where are you? mommie,mommie…..

  32. ivve

    I’ve never liked this bitch. She’s ugly in the face and looks like a prepubescent boy from the neck down. I hope she uses up the remainder of her 15mins and disappears. I’m sick of seeing her pasty white cottage cheese thighs/ass hanging out.

  33. Niecy

    Does she even qualify as a celebrity? What has she done since the OC? Maybe she really did get her clothes out of the garbage.

  34. onecritic

    Mischa has THE WORST BODY I’ve ever seen on someone who is not overweight. Her thighs are gross. She needs to get an exercise program! The Hollywood folk have a much higher standard to live up to than the rest of us, and she is NOT cutting it!!!!!

  35. jakebarnes

    And why is she hanging out with Ron White?

  36. Shanipie

    An okay Face #22? Really? What the hell is gong on here, my god in heaven.

    Does anyone here remember when celebrities…atleast female celebrities, were actually almost required to be hot? Now every fuckin trailor park or eurotrash dipshit is making hundreds of thousands of dollars being talentless useless airstealers on camera.

    We make these jerk offs famous by watching them then wonder why we have people walkin around looking like…well this.

    I blame myself.

  37. BarbadoSlim

    Can someone enlighten me as to what this person does for a living. Aside from reeking of weed and unwashed scrota that is.

  38. woodhorse

    #37 She is a ball polisher at the local bowling alley. I hear she is quite the pro…

  39. mrs.t

    #34: She is classic ‘skinny fat’. If you grab her arm, it’s skin, MUSH, bone. So, at 5’9″ and 120 lbs., she probably has around 35% body fat. This enables me to legally call her a fatass even though I weigh 30 lbs. more at the same height. Muscles, Mischa. Eat a little and lift some weights, for Chrissake.

    And the outfit? From the looks of the street scene behind her, she is in Europe-Germany? She went into a hip little shop and, using her German Phrase Book, asked the frauleins to hook her up with what all the cool kids are wearing. There was, clearly, a problem with the translation.

    Those wacky Germans, with the socks-and-sandals and the quirky humor!

  40. mrs.t

    Whoops-I just noticed the “GIVE WAY” sign in the backround…she ‘s not in Germany, she’s just a regular old moron!

  41. heyheyhey

    this is odd.

    it’s so ugly that the picture is almost convincing me this is fashionable…

    i think that’s the fashion industriy’s strategy. come up with shit SO ugly, that normal people will assume one would only wear it bcuz it is fashionable. and then idiots like her wear it and contaminate the fashion sense of the masses

  42. MemberName

    I think my mom has a pair of those….

  43. Jen

    Who gives a fuck if she has some cellulite on her legs? Does it make you people feel better about your own ugliness to point out pretty stars like Mischa’s flaws?

  44. frenchie

    39- wow! You weigh buck fifty @ 5’9″? That’s gigantor!!! I hope it’s all in your tits! I hope you’re one of the American Gladiaors. Mr.T is hot so Mrs. T must be smokin’.

    Anyhow, I agree that she is skinny fat. She has veal like hanging flesh without any muscle tone. I wonder if fingertips leave indents on her spongy thighs.

  45. frenchie

    43- Some cellulite!!!? She wore those boots for a reason! Large curd like that should not be considered “some cellulite”. She’s pretty from neck up but come on…the rest is sloppy.

  46. BarbadoSlim

    @43…why would you mention pretty in a thread regarding this loser has been…wait, make that never was.
    If it wasn’t for the OC she’d have fulfilled her destiny of working at Target. This is the kind of skanky stoner you never gave two shits about in high school.

  47. frenchie

    Slim Jim- you never got back to me on the Baldwin battle. Just get it over with and appologize. It’s between you-me-and the internet.

  48. BarbadoSlim

    Apologize?!?!?!? haahahahahaha that’ll be the day. I’ve got nothing else to say, regarding your post. As in, it didn’t merit wasting anymore of my time.

  49. frenchie

    See??? I knew you would see it my way sooner or later. Don’t fight it…you know your problem stemmed from the very begining…by defending the wrong side. Once your futile attempt of slamming me ran dry there was nowhere to go.

    Ok…I will accept the apology.

  50. Rachelraquel

    fuck this story

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