Mischa Barton and Cisco Adler not broken up

February 7th, 2007 // 175 Comments
cisco-adler-nude-balls-thumb.jpg

Us Weekly reported today that Mischa Barton broke up with Cisco Adler after a nude picture of him (so NSFW it’s not even funny) surfaced on the web last month, but Adler’s rep insists they’re still together, saying: “They are fine – very happy together.” Regarding the picture, Cisco adds:

“Mischa wasn’t too excited, to say the least,” Adler tells the New York Observer in Wednesday’s issue. “I think it was actually worse for her than for me in some ways. So yeah, I’m gonna try to keep my pants on from now on.”

For the love of all that is good, yes, please, keep your pants on. Always. Even in the shower. Peeing, pooing, whatever. There’s no excuse for Cisco Adler to ever be naked. I’m not up to date on the Bible but I’m pretty sure his balls break at least seven of the ten commandments. I can’t even begin to comprehend how low Mischa Barton’s self-esteem must be if she’s seen Cisco naked and still wants to be with him. His nudity is like an insult to nature. And his balls? Well his balls look like they were crafted from evil itself.

Source

superficial

  1. Pointandlaugh

    DAD?

  2. sol

    her self-esteem is even lower than his left one.

  3. theange

    balls.

  4. meee

    those are the hugest fucking balls i’ve ever seen. where does he put them when he’s walking or having sex or doing ANYTHING AT ALL?

  5. gorax

    oh god that’s hot.

  6. I thought he was just holding Anna-Nichole Smith’s tits between his thighs!

  7. crystalljackson

    I don’t think anything could have prepared me for that. The Fleetwood-Mac Rumours album cover comes to mind…
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:FleetwoodMacRumours.jpg

  8. gorax

    oh god that’s hot.

  9. Cabaret

    oh dear god its saggy ball man

  10. I’m gonna go out on limb and say his favorite song is AC/DC’s “Big Balls”. Seriously, by his puny arms and dangling balls it looks as though he suffered a double hernia which went untreated. Mischa must be sooooo proud. Aside from looking like a gay homeless hippy, he also sports the worst balls since the inception of the WNBA.

  11. Doxes

    The body of a 12-year-old, the balls of an 80-year-old who has worn boxers all his life. Seriously, what does he do with them when he has to take a dump? Because you know they’d be dangling in the toilet water.

  12. justlikehoney1

    If he’s gonna pose like that, he should be holding a bottle of Captain Morgan Rum.

    Hey Mischa:

    “Got a little Captain in you?”

  13. justlikehoney1

    If he’s gonna pose like that, he should be holding a bottle of Captain Morgan Rum.

    Hey Mischa:

    “Got a little Captain in you?”

  14. gorax

    oh god that’s hot.

  15. Adriana Christensen

    ooooooooomg is it possible for balls to hang that low and crooked?!

  16. mika85

    i will never have sex again. thanks, cisco.

  17. BarbadoSlim

    Oh, so they’re still together, at least these two dirty stink pigs had the decency to warn the population.

    Break out the gas masks folks.

  18. Flip Rogers

    its like his balls are attached to his body with bungee cords

  19. Binky

    Yeah but – Can he tie them in a knot ?
    Can he tie them in a bow ?
    Can he roll them over his shoulder ( like a continental soldier) ?*
    Inquiring minds want to know. (Thank G not mine)
    (she’s got to quit milking him -or they’ll pull off)
    *(BYO campfire)

  20. Flip Rogers

    had to post again, that has to be the most disturbing thing i have ever seen

  21. ilovebabyhuey

    so when they have sex he has to wear like 3 condoms?? triple penetration is so hot.

  22. RunningWithCarsAndBoysWithScissors

    wasn’t this picture found amidst paris hilton’s personal items?

    and oh my god.. those balls!

  23. Charm

    WORST NUDE PICTURE EVER! THANK GOD FOR CLOTHES.

  24. RussianMafia

    Must be hot in that room. And he’s hot.

  25. llllllllll

    Please tell me this bent gumby motherf*%ker holds his balls underneath his chin when he’s taking a shit.

  26. Saera

    I AGREE WITH NUMBER 23

  27. Marissa

    I am permanently scarred for life. There are no words to describe the horror that we have all just seen.

    THE HORROR.

  28. Binky

    I’ve heard this is what happens when you mix Bud and Coke. I guess the pic proves it.
    (And look at the chest on him! I bet Mischa wishes she had a rack that big )

  29. llllllllll

    Do you think those are the ones David used on Goliath?

  30. Saera

    i have to post another comment again.
    DAMN ARE THOSE SAGGY.
    it’s really funny how people are posting comments about the picture and not the..headline/story. :P

  31. sikofdis

    It rubs the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose again…

    this dude looks like he wants to kidnap fat chicks in the back of his late-70′s Ford van.

  32. sharpei dude

    That’s called a fucking hernia folks! It’s also extremely G-A-Y.

  33. Surria

    The rep is just trying to make sure Saggy Ball Man doesn’t have any more bad press. Mischa totally had to have dumped this fool. Maybe they had never had sex and when she saw this picture, she realized what she HAD NOT been missing. Step away from Sag-o-rific!

  34. Klutzy

    wow i just threw up a little in my mouth…thanks for that…

  35. karifarrell

    I will NEVER forget that image! I can’t stop laughing! I don’t know who that guy is or anything, but DAMN!!! How’d those balls get like that?!? BTW, besides being M.B’s boyfriend, is he famous? (for something other than having balls longer than his penis)

  36. Nikky Raney

    do your balls hang low..
    do they wobble to and fro.

    oh my gosh. that is so disgusting.
    i regret clicking.
    i have never seen such saggy balls in my life.

  37. Klutzy

    wow i just threw up a little in my mouth…thanks for that…

  38. Nikky Raney

    do your balls hang low..
    do they wobble to and fro.

    oh my gosh. that is so disgusting.
    i regret clicking.
    i have never seen such saggy balls in my life.

  39. Anexio

    I could really go for hot steaming cup of tea right about now.

  40. Bigicedaddy

    Ok i know i m not bringing anything new 2 this all out freak horror we got going on over here but god fucking jesus damn it!!! Dude shit aint good when your sack is bigger then your damn penis! All i keep seeing is Mischa chocking on these bad boys, and every time i do my soul dies a little bit.

  41. LRonHubbaHubba

    ***sprays screen with Lysol***

  42. Mick

    HaHa, this pictures great. That’s the funniest thing I’ve seen all week.
    Either it was so hot in that room or his balls are just the largest ones I’ve ever seen.

  43. NicotineEyePatch

    Like most guys, he just assumes that they look pretty good and that someone else really wants to see them.

  44. schadenfreudelicious

    For the love of gawd…that is without a doubt the most repulsive example of male flesh i have had the misfortune of having burned into my retinas….

  45. SuperG

    Thanks for the laughs..these comments are terrific!

  46. There. Is. No. God.

  47. shakeitout

    I can’t get this look of disgust off my face. I need to flush this image out of my head with lots and lots of alcohol. There is absolutely nothing even remotely attractive about this picture… he must be punished for being the most unattractive naked person EVER.

    I want to cry.

  48. Ryan

    ……ewwww.

  49. Lowlands

    Look likes he wanna get his salad tossed.Any girls getting anxious?

  50. chickiee2002

    Nice saggy balls. How attractive. I would be embarassed to if I was Mischa Barton. Why is she dating someone like THIS?

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