Miranda Kerr in a bikini

March 5th, 2009 // 159 Comments

Here’s Miranda Kerr in the latest Victoria Secret’s catalog, and there are so many things I’d do to her that I’m not even going to mention them here. I don’t want you guys copying my moves. Then again, it took me four years to teach those penguins how to cover themselves in Crisco, so good luck pulling that one off. Ladies?

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. My boner just grew a boner.

  2. booyaka

    Her eyes are too far apart and she looks manly.

  3. Assman

    What’s wrong with a little shit on your dick? I just get the bitch to lick it off. No big deal women are essentially nasty creatures anyway and are not for keeps. There’s always a better one in a bar. I like to humiliate women because other than for sex I really have no real use for most of them.
    I had this one who hated it in the ass but she was hot and was really in love with me so she did it anyway and I would make her pay. I would fuck her long and slow and occasionally thrust her savagely until she would scream and I would make her beg me to come! Fucking worthless bitch.
    I love women who don’t like it. I always talk them into it and make them pay the price for their impudence. It keeps the mouthy slut in their place which is face down so you can’t hear them.

  4. Gando

    Yea,that’s one hot looking smoothie

  5. my comment

    boring. there is nothing interesting about her.

  6. ImwatchingU

    booyaka, do you know how I know that your gay?

  7. JPRichardson

    She is very, very cute but needs some substance in that frail, childish body of hers. Men like to see curves. Women like to look up to natural-looking models. Children would be better admiring healthy looking women. She has the prettiest face, but lacks much the substance manly and lesbian dreams are made of.

  8. suckithhard

    She’s a fuckin butterface…..look at how far apart her damn eyes are!! No lips,huge dimples, her head looks fucked up too. Are those fucking bags under her eyes??? No curves just a shapeless girl in a push up bra.

  9. Fati

    these women are good looking of course, but the pictures are also shamelessly photoshopped. no one looks like this.

  10. spinal

    @103

    The reason you have no use for women other than sex is because you’re not into women, you fucking weirdo.. I only hope one day you find peace in the hot, hairy manly prison love you so obviously crave. And since you don’t mind shit on your dick, you’re halfway there already.

    What’s with all the haters? That chick is beautiful. She literally gets paid to stand around looking beautiful. Go eat another triple stack cheeseburger and pop some more zits in the mirror, jealous morons.

  11. Cid

    If your favorite sexual act is to fuck a woman the way gay men fuck, then you’re gay. Sorry, no exceptions.

  12. twhite

    aw, she’s pretty.

  13. meg

    Cute body, face is ugly as sin. Shooped, too.

    I give it a “meh.”

  14. Boo

    She looks like Jesse from Toy Story 2. If you’re into that kinda thing…

  15. Frank Lucas' Bitch

    What’s with all the retarded women saying that having sex makes somebody gay? What the fuck is this? Gay men have oral sex too. Does a guy enjoying oral sex makes him gay? What the fuck is with all this retarded gay double standard? How about, lesbian women enjoy oral sex. So, if you enjoy oral sex with a man, that actually makes you a lesbian? If that sounds retarded it’s because it is – the same with the whole “anal makes you gay” notion.
    Sheesh, people enjoy different things, and have different sexual preferences. Some like anal, some hate oral, some like domination, others are into group sex, others have foot fetishes, etc., whatever. Just because it’s not something you’re into or don’t like it, you have to act like total assholes? Wow. I’m sorry, but you’re retarded. Period.

  16. Kamakazi Kunt

    A pedophiles legal wet dream.

  17. yurgay

    you are all gay.

    so is miranda kerr.

  18. duh

    #115 – gay men have anal sex because neither has a vagina. If you have access to a vagina but you prefer to stick your cock in an anus instead, you should be with another guy. Only repressed homosexuals argue otherwise.

  19. Doug

    Umm, yeah, what’s the Kardashian’s doing all over this site? Boycotting you!

  20. ErrorFlynn

    should it be so refreshing that she doesn’t have a bellybutton piercing?

  21. Rachael

    There’s nothing wrong with anal you conservative repressed fridgets.

  22. Shes pretty. Nice body.

    ~by Arabica Coffee Personnel

  23. Knee Ya Ha Ha : So. My friend ‘Frank’ from 16th Floor come over.
    I have on hand not much in way of snack, but – a little bit of popcorn.

    Frank’ from 16th Floor : Hi everybody. I’m over here at Knee’s. He’s on 17.
    I’m down on 16. Oh. By the way Knee – Do you have any popcorn ?
    Knee Ya Ha Ha : Right. ”Frank’. I have a little bit of popcorn – no Jiffy-Pop – BUT – No transfat !!! New Orville Rickenbacker !!!
    Comments ?
    ‘Frank’ from 16th Floor : Shit. Orville Rickenbacker. And No trans fat ? Unbelievable. Incredible.
    It’s about time I listened to you Knee. I wasn’t really always listening before. Like…this….you know…when you say….
    An ‘inside’ what …..?

    Cliff Notes : Job.

  24. Daniel

    she’s awesome, I mean, at her age, she’s still attractive to many people! you don’t know how h ot models and sex y folks on _____Tallmingle.com_____ go cr azy about her act!! she’s like kinda role model to many people there!!

  25. harhraharharhrahrahraarhrghaa!

    All I know about anal is that mostly men with small penises like it. :P

  26. she’s awesome, I mean, at her age, she’s still attractive to many people! you don’t know how h ot models and sex y folks on ____Wealthydater.com_____ go cr azy about her act!! she’s like kinda role model to many people there!!

  27. she’s awesome, I mean, at her age, she’s still attractive to many people! you don’t know how h ot models and sex y folks on ____Wealthydater.com_____ go cr azy about her act!! she’s like kinda role model to many people there!!

  28. MustangSally

    that girl is insanelly skinny!

    i´m not saying that´s a bad thing, but there´s absolutelly 0% meat in her body… she looks cute and all but what I don´t get is

    how come THAT anorexic is HOT and lindsay lohan is corpse-like?
    they´re about the same… except lilo has some nice natural tits

    that´s all.

  29. TELL ME, why ios this so “special” with americans?
    The truth is maybe hard to take but almost NO AMERICAN fits a bikini, folks.
    THIS BECAUSE OF THE FAT-PROBLEM!!

  30. Where's Darkwing Duck?

    I would scissor her for days.

  31. Valerie

    She needs some tits and a couple more years, then she may be hot.
    She’s definately 100x hotter than the First Monkey, Michelle Oboombox, pictured below:

    ……………………………………..@@@……………………
    ………………………………@@@@@@@……………
    …………………@@@@@@@@@@@…………..
    …………..@@@……@@@@@@@@@………..
    ……..@@…………..@@..\__……__/..@@@@……..
    ……………………@@@….{Q}…..{Q}….@@@@@@……..
    ………………………..@@………..^……….@@@…………@….
    ………….@@@@@@………/…\………..@@@………..@
    ……..@@@……..@@……(0__0)………@@……..
    ……..@………….@@…………..U…………..@@@….
    …….@………..@@@…/^^^^ww^^^^\….@@@….
    …………………..@@…({..\—–O—–/..})…@@@@
    ………………@@@…..\\www—www//…@@@..
    ……………….@@*@………….^^^…………..@@@@
    ………………….@@…..\……………………/….@@@**
    ………………*@@@@\___…….___/…..@@**@@
    ……………..@@@@……/…(__)…\………@@@@**
    ………………@@@@…./……………\………@@@@@
    ………………@@@@…/……………..\.@@@@@@

  32. Deacon Jones

    @115 and Valerie

    Exactly, never realised how much this annoys some people. I like to do everything, so I guess I’m what, bisexual, trisexual, who the fuck knows. My college days are behind me now, but they were a blast, and I’ve seen all sorts of shit. Just cause a girl enjoys anal doesnt mean she’s fucked up – they all are!

    My buddy’s girlfriend used to hysterically cry during sex, but LOVED having sex, explain that one for me.

    All I know is, the people that diss me and others about banging a chick in the ass are probably the same ones that think Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction.

  33. Parker

    @ Deacon Jones = luckiest bastard in the world. You’ve lived my fantasy.

  34. Jim

    I’m not into anal because my cock is too big for that, but I don’t pass judgment on the guys who are really into it because they prefer the fit.

  35. Deacon Jones

    @133

    LOL. It was great. She was so hot

  36. MJ

    Uhm who cares what anybody else does to get theirs? I enjoy it once awhile, so does my man. We like it both.

    I think you ass haters need a good lay or something. In the vagina of course. small minded.. why you all care what other people enjoy? Live and let live, nosy much?

  37. Fat Chicks Suck

    I’ve never even had anal sex…but I find it absolutely ridiculous how ignorant and close-minded some people are (although I suspect the majority of these “anal is only for gays” posts are by the same person – no way there are that many idiots posting in this thread.) Seriously – have you ever heard anything so stupid? Having anal sex with a girl means you’re gay and/or have an abnormally small penis? It’s really difficult for me to accept that there are people this dumb walking amongst us – it’s scary.

  38. MJ

    Well, my mans penis is above average..
    and I know cuz I’ve seen and done a lot.
    I think it’s very ignorant to make statements about something you don’t even know. If you don’t do it, good for you. If you do, good for you! whatever works and doesn’t involve children and/or animals :)

    If it bothers you that people enjoy sex the way they like it, put your ivory tower up your ass and go stand on a soap box somewhere else.

  39. Doc

    #107
    It is amusing how “fat” people see “fit” people as having a child body. Her measurements are a fit sexy curvy 34-24-34. She practices a healthy lifestyle and it shows. Men like to see “fit curves” and not “fat induced curves” like Kim Kardasshian. The problems in US are there are more fat curvy women than fit curvy women, so men basically have to settle for the fat curvy females. The same goes for men, there are more fat men in the US than fit men. The US have the biggest people in the world!

    Children need to learn how to practice a healthy lifestyle instead of overeating and not exercising. The US has a huge problem with overweight people because being fat causes the most health problems in the US. Instead of parents making excuses for their fat child; like my little Susie or Johnny are not fat; they are big boned or thick is only encouraging your child to continue to overeat. Americans stop the fat denial and start practicing a healthy lifestyle.

  40. Ruth

    #138
    I’ve talk to many male and female friends and the male guys that like anal are basically immature and can’t get into a real relationship. It is a power trip for them or they have gay tendencies. The female friends that have done anal only do it because of low self esteem and some eventually get use to it enough to act like they enjoy it.

    #94
    Having a finger in your ass is a big difference from having anal sex. The bottom line is if you are into anal sex then you are either gay, into a male power trip or have issues. If you are female then you have issues. I have never seen loving and tender male/female anal sex porn because it is not meant to be gentle and tender. The same goes for gay sex; it is never tender or gentle with emotion; just a physical thing. There is nothing wrong with animalistic sex, but if this is the only way one can get off; then one has intimacy issues

  41. Valerie

    131 is a troll–some pissed off whiny bitch–not me FUCK this site and its racist TARDS

  42. Val

    #131

    Don’t worry about #131 because ignorant people like her/him never vote and don’t amount to much for society.

  43. Valerie

    Ruth,
    I respect your opinion, as it might apply to some, but the fact of the matter stands: most normal, mentally healthy guys enjoy anal sex because the ass cavity is way tighter and they have better orgasms. Most normal, mentally healthy girls who engage in anal sex do so because they know this, and they like to please their partner. Sex is all about give and receive. Then comes the time when the normal, healthy guy eats his girl’s pussy until SHE cums. It’s all a rich tapestry–you don’t need to vilify ALL anal sex enthusiasts just from a preconceived prejudice and a lack of personal experience.

  44. Where;s Darkwing Duck?

    @Anal-sexophobes
    If you dislike it so much, why are you watching the related porn? There’s alot of porn out there. Anal can be done gently with alot of tenderness. Sorry, if you don’t like it don’t do it. For fucks sake grow up already.
    How old are your friends that you talk to about this subject? 15-16 sitting at the lunch table going “EEWWW! No Way! Ugh Why are the boys sooooo immmatuuree like I can’t even believe it. I bet they’re gay!”

  45. Can you dorks quit fighting? I’m trying to climax….

  46. W/E she’s always in a bikini!

  47. Vanquish

    I like Valerie a lot. :wub:

  48. Vanquish

    I like Valerie a lot. :wub:

  49. Deacon Jones

    Valerie,

    I’m heading out to happy hour. I’ll call you after about 25 miller lite’s and we’ll test our theory out. Chow

  50. Sauron

    So where’s my sexy wifey?

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