Miranda Kerr in a bikini

March 5th, 2009 // 159 Comments

Here’s Miranda Kerr in the latest Victoria Secret’s catalog, and there are so many things I’d do to her that I’m not even going to mention them here. I don’t want you guys copying my moves. Then again, it took me four years to teach those penguins how to cover themselves in Crisco, so good luck pulling that one off. Ladies?

Photos: Splash News
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  1. OC Dee

    This post reminds me it is time to buy some new bikinis for the summer.

  2. Danklin24

    Holy motherfucker thats a hot body. Damn!

  3. Peaches

    Why are guys into female butt holes? I can only guess they are gay. Seriously it is not like a female has a g spot in the butt hole. I suspect part of the reason is there is too much bad porn with chicks getting banged in the butt and it appeals to the closet gay guys that have to act like they are into chicks. She has a fine hourglass body. Now this is an hourglass body.

  4. J.R

    REALLY? You guys like this girl?? Her face is really unattractive to me. She looks like a fuckin cabbage patch kid. As for her body….looks more like a 12 year old boy. She must phootgraph well in her VS shoots because I just don’ t see the allure with this girl, not at all

  5. Alice

    awe she’s cute. but in a babyish way…

  6. sandre

    Cabbage patch kids! That’s funny!

    Anyways, she’s a cutie. But sorry #53, she does NOT have an hourglass figure! She barely has any hips. It’s pretty much waist and straight down to hips. Needless to say, even without an hourglass figure, she has a banging body.

  7. I dont like her elbows…. they freak me out the way they bend the wrong way >.<
    but shes cute

  8. Amy

    Donald: Why do creeps like you say shit like that??? That does not make a girl want to be with you.

  9. Deacon Jones

    @53

    Thanks for the info, I’ll tell my penis he’s gay next time he’s standing at attention

  10. Valerie

    37, if that’s true, good for her. The food sounds delicious and Yoga and meditation are where it’s at.

  11. Valerie

    40–yes, butt ugly!

  12. Fat Chicks Suck

    @53: Just because guys like having (or watching) anal sex with a girl doesn’t make them gay – what an extremely ignorant thing to say. You’re saying that just because guys have assholes as well makes it gay? Does that mean guys that like girls giving them a blowjob are gay as well? I think the taboo factor is part of the turn-on. It’s not for everybody. Some guys like it, some don’t. Some girls like it, some don’t. For some girls the only time they can orgasm is when they’re having anal sex. Just because you don’t understand something or don’t like something doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with it. It’s your opinion and a lot of people disagree with you. I not only disagree with you…I think you’re an idiot for saying it makes a guy gay. While there are other things I’d rather do to Miranda Kerr I would still love to lick her asshole. You’re right that she has a phenomenal body.

    @54: Yes – I think this girl is incredibly fucking hot. Her face looks better in some shots than others…and you’re entitled to your opinion there…but I think she has a really cute face. Her body is flawless. She looks like a 12-year-old boy? Wow – that’s original. You are a fucking idiot. Seriously – you are a complete moron.

  13. Valerie

    I never thought I’d be agreeing with “Fat Chicks Suck” but, well….here we are. Hmmmmm

  14. Sensual Hottie

    62

    Chicks who do anal are pathetic and desperate to keep a man or a porn star. I don’t care what you say, anal is for gay sex. Women do not have a clit near the anus and they do not have a g-spot in the anus either. A woman cannot orgasm by anal sex. You are probably mistaking her painful grunts for an orgasm. I know some heterosexual guys like anal because their cocks are 3 inches and under and this is the only way they can get off. I almost got serious with a guy but then he told me he liked anal. He told me that most chicks shit when they do anal. The whores you see on porn have to fast for one day and douche their anus to be free of fecal matter before doing anal sex porn. I saw a special on HBO about porn stars that do anal.

  15. Tom K

    @ #64.

    What special was this? What was the name of it? Fasting for a day? Douching their anus? Oh sick! LOL

  16. e-rock

    Thank Fish, there went my self esteem!!! could this chick be any more perfect? ITS NOT FAIR!!!!! And I work my ass off, eat healthy, and try, try, try, try. GOD- WHY DIDN”T I WIN THE GENETIC LOTTERY TOO?!?! This chick is laughing all the way to the bank and she eats her sushi and drinks her latte’s, and Im eating Mama fricken Celeste pizza’s and Oodles and Noodles for Christs sake!!!!! WHY? And yes, Im VERY JEALOUS, and yes, I would like some cheese with my wiiiiiiiiiine! hahaha, no really. pass the gouda.

  17. Fat Chicks Suck

    @64: You don’t like the idea of anal sex and that’s fine…but you clearly know nothing about it, you’ve made statements that prove you’re an ignorant judgmental piece of shit, and you have no business insulting people that enjoy it. Believe it or not there are a lot of women out there that LOVE anal sex (usually combined with clitoral stimulation.) Saying, “chicks who do anal are pathetic and desperate” makes you a moron. If they enjoy it (or even if they don’t and just do it once in awhile just because they enjoy knowing it makes their man happy) there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. Men enjoying anal sex has nothing to do with their penis size or their sexual orientation. Are you really that stupid? Anal is not just for gay sex…just like oral is not just for gay sex. Most chicks shit when they do anal? And you’re telling me that every time a girl has anal sex she has to fast for one day? I’m guessing you’re one of those people who has to wear a helmet at all times. Whatever HBO special you saw must have been on your “special” HBO channel.

    Seriously – how many ignorant things can be said in one post? If anal sex is something you could never see yourself enjoying (or something that repulses you) then there is nothing wrong with never trying it. However, you are nothing more than a close-minded, ignorant, judgmental bitch and you have no business talking about the subject.

    You are an absolute idiot – there isn’t a jury in the world that wouldn’t convict you on that charge.

  18. Someone's grandmother

    Like looking at myself in the mirror

  19. SH

    #67

    You are in denial you pathetic gay closet case. You must really love the smell of farts and love going in public bathrooms in hopes you can smell fecal matter. The anus was made for pooping and for gay sex. I bet you fantasize about being with a man when you do anal. Any female that allows a man to do anal sex with her has issues. Do you actually kiss your lover after licking her asshole? I hope she at least takes a shower first, but you probably love the poop smell because it is the closest you will get to gay sex. Just get out of the closet now and enjoy your gay sex.

  20. Fat Chicks Suck

    Sensual Hottie is a genius

  21. friendlyfires

    Well Barack my Obama, I just stained my pajamas and I’m not even wearing them. Good Lord, she’ll never have to look for a coat hook to hang her purse as long she keeps dressing in a bikini in a room full of testosterone driven hetereo men.

  22. baum

    … another bad case of shrinking pants syndrome…..

  23. BM

    I agree with #69! Disgusting!

  24. Normal

    Too skinny! She probably doesn’t even menstruate.

  25. Splooge

    Splooge likes anal sex (with women) because it’s degrading to women, and that turns me on.
    I would also like to see a glistening puddle of my splooge on her abs!!

  26. Parker

    @69 et al., are you saying the anus was created so gay people would be able to have sex? Yes, as a matter of fact, that’s exactly what you said. How modern of you, unless you’re gay, in which case, nice try pal. Anyway, if you’re so progressive then why can’t you take that forward-thinking attitude one step further and allow that straight people might possibly want enjoy anal sex as well? Women don’t want gay men poking their weiners into their anuses (or gay women poking other things into them) and straight men don’t want anything at all poking around down there. But straight women like straight men to bang their hot, tight asses and straight men are happy to do it. If they didn’t do it then straight women might not be in the mood to clean the house or cook dinner and straight men would have to kick them out and pay hookers.

  27. Sexy Sadie

    I love when my lover shoots his love stuff on my perky 34C tits and stomach, but anal is out of the question.

  28. Parker

    @Miranda Kerr,

    My place 8pm. Think about it. Your hot ass, my hard c**k, and a tube of KY. You get the picture. Pull your panties down and grab your ankles, baby.

  29. Ein

    We need more of this and less of Rihanna.

  30. Justin Gelband

    #74

    Normal for American standards means overweight or a few extra pounds. She is 34-24-34 which means she is curvy and not skinny. A lot of Americans think curvy is fat in the right places but this is an American myth. She is healthy and fit and toned because she exercises regularly and eats healthy.

    The mega salaries and global exposure mean Miranda is expected to be in top physical shape 24/7, and we managed to convince the man responsible for maintaining her hot body – LA-based trainer Justin Gelband – to share their workout details. “Victoria’s Secret want lean, fit, tight models and Miranda’s getting a lot of praise from the art director and everyone there because of her healthy body,” Gelband explains.

    Have Your Say
    “i agree on arielle’s comment. i mean surely its in her genes to have such a petite body.. but how ca…”

    Comment “One of my proudest moments was seeing recent photos of Miranda and how strong her body looked. She couldn’t wait to walk the runway and show the world that being lean, toned and fit is something you can be, without having to be skinny and anorexic.” But does she ever have a fat day? “Of course, we all have them,” Miranda admits. “I have days where I feel bloated, especially when I get off a plane, but a good night’s sleep really helps. If I sleep, then go for a run, I always feel better.”

  31. Deacon Jones

    @64

    Hmm. You must not be that “sensual” sweetie. I used to fuck around with a hot chick in college who ONLY let me do anal to her (Parker, you wouldve loved her). She was hot as shit, and came 3 times once, it was fantastic.

    She was a fucking psycho, so had to shed her, but man, those 3 months were fabulous. There’s not a week that goes by that I still dont think of those nights. WHEW

  32. guythll

    I think she is the most sexy celebrity, so there are so many men are talking about her at ____MillionaireLoving. C O M____ forum, they are interested in posting her naked photos and private news.

  33. CC

    81

    Like someone else posted here, only chicks with issues do anal. And you must hate women.

  34. ed.

    “She was a fucking psycho, so had to shed her, but man, those 3 months were fabulous. There’s not a week that goes by that I still dont think of those nights. PU”

    fixed.

  35. the truth

    Men love anal because they know it’s degrading and painful for the girl. Nothing gets a cock harder than degrading and painful.

  36. Valerie

    I like where this is going!

    Different strokes. I’m pretty well educated on fetishism, some guys just have ASS FETISHISMS and they’re straight. You can think it’s disgusting and judge them, that’s fine. But when it comes to sex, you’d be surprised at what gets people off.

    I’ll never understand Erotic electrostimulation, man, OUCH!

  37. Jorge

    Miranda May Kerr (born 20 April 1983)[1] is an Australian model, best known as one of the Victoria’s Secret Angels. She was the first Australian addition to the Victoria’s Secret campaign, and was the face of Australian fashion chain Portmans and now David Jones Limited. Kerr entered modeling in the fashion industry in her mid-teens after winning a 1997 Australian nation-wide model search hosted by Dolly magazine and Impulse fragrances.[3]

  38. Valerie

    77–cheers! To being 34C! : )

  39. Terry

    #86

    From my experience guys who love anal are suppressing their homosexuality. My husband was into anal too and loved to have a dildo in his ass. I thought it was weird but went along with it because I am overweight and he is hot and fit. Anyway we got married and we had a baby. He abused our baby and I left him. He ended up living with his new girlfriend and killing her toddler from shaking her. He is now in prison for murder. I later found out about his gay lovers.

  40. Tom Cruise

    Some extremely virile, powerful, born-to-lead men simply don’t like the look, smell, feel, or taste of those nasty vaginas, with all their strange feminine secretions. They prefer a nice, tight anus, especially when it’s on somebody with buns of steel and big muscular thighs and pecs and delts and biceps. Doesn’t make them gay.

  41. Jesse

    #89 – so you’re saying that you’re responsible for the death of another mother’s baby. Nice.

  42. M.D.

    Nothing – and I mean, NOTHING – gets an anal-loving guy more upset than saying it makes him a latent homo. Talk about a perfect diagnostic test. Look, pre-homos, stop hurting women and find the courage to cross all the way over. If you’re worried that you love anal but you’d never want to kiss another man, it’s not a problem – there’s no foreplay in gay sex. You don’t even have to give your name. It’s paradise…for you.

  43. Valerie

    86, that is a terrible story and if it’s true, I’m very sorry that had to happen to you. At the very least you had the decency to state “from my experience”. Sweeping, grandiose generalizations like “all men who like anal are gay” just don’t make me think the person making that argument is very reasonable or intelligent.

  44. ???

    #83,

    Why must #81 hate women? That makes no sense whatsoever.

    I used to date a chick who loved me to stick me finger in her ass when she was riding me. We never had anal sex, but she loved the dual stimulation. Does that mean I hate women? Does that mean she has issues? (by the way she’s a surgeon now).

    #83 ande #64 are very clearly closed minded, judgemental ignoramuses who don’t know their asses from a hot rock.

  45. wowee

    Wow…

  46. Valerie

    You know, human sexuality is very interesting. Lots of straight people tend to see things only in black and white, as if bisexuals don’t exist. It’s simply a matter of putting your own preferences and preconceived notions aside and accepting that fact that some people are different from you. For example, I don’t know how 66 could lose her self esteem by simply looking at a super model–but I can step back and accept that chicks have complexes like that. I have a gay friend who told me he is fucking a “straight” boy, who has TWO girlfriends. At first I was like how’s THAT possible? But whatever, you can call the “straight” boy a homo, if you want, fact of the matter is, he’s having sex with men and women, which makes him bisexual.

  47. Terry

    #91

    I almost killed my husband when he abused our baby. I punched him and he flung back, hit his head on the dresser, and went unconscious. It was at that moment when I picked up a baseball bat and was ready to break his skull. Our baby started crying and I realized if I killed him then I would be put in prison and she would not have a mother. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think about the poor innocent toddler who was murdered by my ex-husband. I tried to warn his new girlfriend, but she just smirked at me and said I was jealous.

    #93
    I’ve met guys that say they like anal and this is a deal breaker for me.

  48. Valerie

    97–in your case, it makes perfect sense.

  49. adl

    I like her and think she is damn sexy, no sane guy here would pass up the opportunity to get with her.
    I have viewed many hot SEXY pics at ***BIGBLACKCONNECT.C OM*** where many fans are together, also I’ve meet kinds of black singles who are hunger for true love online.

  50. aint that the truth

    wtf how the hell did we start talking about gays and assuming that just because you like giving or receiving it in the ass makes you gay … come on guys it doesnt … some guys just like giving it and some chicks like taking it … doesnt make anyone gay just because of that … people like different things … some guys like going down on a girl some dont … some chicks like giving head some dont … let it go kids …

    going back to the point, this girl is pretty … nothing wrong with her … she is small and i wish i looked like her :( but i know i will never … so damn her !!!!

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