Miranda Kerr in a bikini

March 5th, 2009 // 159 Comments

Here’s Miranda Kerr in the latest Victoria Secret’s catalog, and there are so many things I’d do to her that I’m not even going to mention them here. I don’t want you guys copying my moves. Then again, it took me four years to teach those penguins how to cover themselves in Crisco, so good luck pulling that one off. Ladies?

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. justifiable

    She is lovely. That is all.

  2. Chris Brown

    She can read my text messages any time.

  3. Allen's Woody

    Like.

  4. Half of Superficial Commenters

    she’s fat.

  5. That’s fish way of apoligizing after the Mowgli family post,,,I accept…

  6. blowhard

    Shes FAT FAT FAT

  7. Canadian Idiot

    I can’t even remember where I work now… so hot

  8. Poppin

    I don’t like her face. Bangin’ body though.

  9. Delgo

    Um, She needs some tits.
    Or I could post pictures of my 12 year old cousin in her swimming trunks a la Victoria’s Secret catalogue.

  10. Tom K

    Very nice! I didn’t think the Superficial posted anything other than large forehead idiots and old washed up whores.

    Nice change!

  11. ___

    Great figure but that mug…She’s gonna look like Mick Jagger when she’s 50.

  12. Orlanto Blume

    I love my wife…

    I’m Whorelando Bloom and I approve this message!

  13. Erica

    Textbook definition of cute. And I DO love her face.

  14. I can hear her stomach growling from here.

  15. Amy

    She’s so effing cute it’s ridiculous. I’m jealous…I’m spitting these m&m’s out of my mouth as we speak.

  16. OJ's Mom

    I would eat a mile of her shit to see where it came from.

    I would drink her bath water.

  17. Jim

    Note how in pic #1 they stuffed her bra. And airbrushed her hip where the gold chain is…

    Nevertheless, a banging body…

  18. Valerie

    Good old Miranda, holding it down! I wonder if Orlando Bloom is a good fuck. V.S. suits suck by the way.

  19. phoring

    That is HOT STUFF!!

  20. Heydumbfuck

    Anyone else think she kinda looks like Kobayashi, from Usual Suspects, in the bottom left pic?

  21. The only thing wrong with this chic, shes getting stained by Orlando cant grow a decent moustache Bloom…

  22. Tom Cruise

    Orlando is a very good fuck.

  23. Valerie

    Tom Cruise–ha! Out of the closet, finally? :D

  24. Wendy

    Miranda…no no no, seriously, I mean it, take half of this sandwich…come on, I’m not going to finish it anyway…no no, not at all, I think you look very fit and healthy, I’m just saying, I’m not going to finish it, so if you’re skipping lunch or something you can have it…yeah, no, it’s totally delicious roast beef but REALLY REALLY lean, there’s barely any fat in it at all and anyway look, this little bit of fat around the edges is practically falling off so I’ll just go ahead and peel it off…no, no no no, I do that all the time, but only because you go to eat it and there’s this strip hanging off and it’s messy so why not just get rid of it? What? YES! Sure, the cheese too, that’s totally a personal taste thing about the cheese and if it’s not the type you like—what? Well, I could, but then it’d just be a lettuce and tomato sandwich, and the roast beef is so good…well, you know, technically if you get rid of the bread too it’s not really a “sandwich” and it’s whole grain so actually it’s very good for you and, uh, well. Anyway. Just thought maybe you’d like a bite of this sandwich.

  25. 0_o

    A
    M
    A
    Z
    I
    N
    G
    !

  26. Jorge

    Wow, who is this girl?

  27. Donald

    I would ruin this chicks vagina. Just leave it in tatters.

  28. Apes in the White House

    She needs some tits and a couple more years, then she may be hot.
    She’s definately 100x hotter than the First Monkey, Michelle Oboombox, pictured below:

    ……………………………………..@@@……………………
    ………………………………@@@@@@@……………
    …………………@@@@@@@@@@@…………..
    …………..@@@……@@@@@@@@@………..
    ……..@@…………..@@..\__……__/..@@@@……..
    ……………………@@@….{Q}…..{Q}….@@@@@@……..
    ………………………..@@………..^……….@@@…………@….
    ………….@@@@@@………/…\………..@@@………..@
    ……..@@@……..@@……(0__0)………@@……..
    ……..@………….@@…………..U…………..@@@….
    …….@………..@@@…/^^^^ww^^^^\….@@@….
    …………………..@@…({..\—–O—–/..})…@@@@
    ………………@@@…..\\www—www//…@@@..
    ……………….@@*@………….^^^…………..@@@@
    ………………….@@…..\……………………/….@@@**
    ………………*@@@@\___…….___/…..@@**@@
    ……………..@@@@……/…(__)…\………@@@@**
    ………………@@@@…./……………\………@@@@@
    ………………@@@@…/……………..\.@@@@@@

  29. ::::: That bitch is sure, sure, surely a skinny biiiatch ::::: http://www.ThisIsWhyYoureSkinny.com

  30. Gando

    Wow! I’m speechless! I would love to have a bare-chested meditation session with this girl!

  31. Farles Chew

    The Superficial Writer posts pics of a very attractive woman who is not deeply annoying or psychotic. There’s something really wrong here . . .

    I agree with Admiral Akbar: IT’S A TRAP!

  32. Simon Sez

    #31: Predictable 13 year old racist troll rat-rapist continues to be predictable racist rat-rapist.

  33. Quinn

    12… delgo, go for it !!!

  34. Miranda

    Hi Folks:

    Just want to let you know I practice a healthy lifestyle to maintain my 5’9″ 34-24-34 figure. You will probably think I do not eat enough but unfortuntaley too many eat too much.

    On a recent Vogue photo shoot, Kerr spoke with beauty and health editor Alexandra Spring and shared a few secrets on how she manages to maintain that body. Besides being blessed with good genes, the Gunnedah-born beauty’s strong lithe frame is a result of a healthy eating plan and five years of dedicated yoga training.

    While many of her colleagues might be seen smoking and sipping Diet Coke with a mobile phone pressed to their ear on fashion shoots, Miranda Kerr positively bounds with endless energy. The Aussie supermodel has long been interested in a healthy mind, healthy body manifesto. And it shows.

    “I can feel the first-hand benefits of when I do take care of myself and feed my body. I feel such a huge difference after yoga and after I meditate. It might not work for everyone but it definitely works for me,” she tells Spring on the shoot.

    After only four hours of jet-lagged sleep, Kerr looks every bit the fresh-faced beauty as she steps into a pair of super-skinny jeans, Gucci heels and a glossy patent Burberry Prorsum jacket.

    Go behind the scenes of our Miranda Kerr shoot by clicking on the slideshow link below. Read the full Miranda’s secret story in the January 2008 issue of Vogue Australia.

    Article Source: Vogue.com.au

    I was snooping around online and found Miranda had replied to a girls email asking what her average diet was like:

    Message: Hi Miranda I would like to know what your diet is like on an average day?

    A typical daily diet if I am home is:

    Breakfast:
    * Fresh fruit salad with yoghurt and muesli
    * 2 x Rye toast with avocado and boiled eggs
    * Water with lemon and ginger
    * Cup of green tea

    Pecans, almonds and walnuts to nibble on for morning tea (sometimes roasted in tamari)

    Lunch:
    Fresh tuna salad with spelt crispbreads
    Water with lemon
    Dandelion Tea

    Piece of fruit or nuts for afternoon tea

    Dinner:
    Either a salmon steak or other fish or Lamb Loin chops or a piece of steak with veges or salad
    I don’t eat a lot of potato, but I eat heaps of greens and sweet potato and pumpkin roasted.

    Cup of Green tea with ginger

    Hope this helps. Love Miranda

  35. Jail Bait

    12 year olds are still illegal in this state and she could use a sirloin or two.

  36. Ram Punchington

    “Anyone else think she kinda looks like Kobayashi, from Usual Suspects, in the bottom left pic?”

    #23: That’s disturbing/funny/….true?

    Punchington Out.

  37. Anyone notice how ugly the bikinis are?

  38. lola

    Actually I think that both she and Michelle Obama are equally attractive. Gotta love those guns. MO was the breadwinner previously and surely will have great influence on the president. Whoever keeps posting that photo, yes it is hilarious and also horrible, but I doubt you are actually racist. Trying to get a rise out of people is fun on the internet and I hope no one gets offended (at least on this site it is expected).

  39. missywissy

    This lady is really pretty. She looks very natural. Refreshing.

  40. antoine bugleboy

    oh the questionable things i would do just to see her and megan fox snuggle.

  41. Sauron

    This delightful creature loves to climb a tree! Doesn’t she?

  42. havoc

    Can you imagine how pink and perfect that is?

    yum….

  43. Nero

    I can almost smell the beach and coconut trees! *Saliva dripping*

  44. jrz

    #37 has put entirely too much effort into this

  45. Darth

    I would love to stick my fingertip in her tight bellybutton!

  46. Fat Chicks Suck

    She is so fucking hot it’s ridiculous. That body is amazing and combined with her cute face she is about as close to perfect as you can get.

    Only in America would idiots find something wrong with that body. Only in America would idiots think there is something wrong with a healthy diet and exercise. Don’t get me wrong – I love my country – but we seriously have an overwhelming number of jealous, lazy, and/or ignorant people (for example: 12 – Delgo, 27 – Wendy, 31 -Complete moron, 38 – Jail Bait.) Talk about pathetic. I guess it should be expected when over 2/3 of our population is overweight or obese.

  47. Deacon Jones

    @37

    Sooooo, are you Miranda Kerr, or someone that cut and paste that?

    Cause if you’re Miranda, I want to use your asshole as a punching bag for my tongue.

Leave A Comment