Miranda Kerr in a bikini

Here’s Miranda Kerr on a photo shoot for Victoria’s Secret in St. Barts over the weekend. I’m not saying I’m jealous of Orlando Bloom, but I would definitely wear his actual face as a mask. I would so do that. Which, clearly, makes me the better man here. I’m surprised there’s not a parade in my honor right now. Or at least a chili cook-off. I mean, what? We don’t respect heroes anymore? Sheesh. Some country.