Miranda Kerr in a bikini

January 19th, 2009 // 138 Comments

Here’s Miranda Kerr on a photo shoot for Victoria’s Secret in St. Barts over the weekend. I’m not saying I’m jealous of Orlando Bloom, but I would definitely wear his actual face as a mask. I would so do that. Which, clearly, makes me the better man here. I’m surprised there’s not a parade in my honor right now. Or at least a chili cook-off. I mean, what? We don’t respect heroes anymore? Sheesh. Some country.


  1. Bill Clinton

    I would pillage that vagina

  2. Boner

    Wow – just wow!

  3. rome

    I would love to open her luscious mouth and shit my diarrhea in it before blinding her big blue eyes with my putrid yellow urine

  4. joanna

    she’s so pretty its unreal. living barbie.

  5. Wombat

    I am in Australia and would love to have a threesome with her and my girl-friend (who is half filipina…yesss)

  6. sickbastard

    @2 you are a sick bastard.

  7. riz

    what is that skin colored thing she has on underneath her bikini bottom? camel toe preventer?

  8. Randal

    That’s a nice looking bikini, love the dark outlines of the string ties and the yellow stain she’s got going on too, otherwise, not much else here. Move on.


  9. she's hot

    I have long said that she is the hottest Victoria Secret model. In the side view pics you can tell her bikini top is padded big time, so me thinks she has tiny boobies, but they suit her and big ones always sag even medium ones do. Also she’s a tad bit on the spear fishing arms super skinny side yet she still looks cute and not bony just overly lanky at some angles. She has a huge brown mole on her ass, but the ass is suprisingly curte and round for such a thin girl. Her face is as ver adorable yet very cipmunky, it is likely where she stores all her fat for the winter. It’s weird when someones largest fat deposit is their face, but it works, unless the swelling is due to bulemia (which causes facial swelling btw) then it ain’t so pretty. Anyway she’s loads hotter than Mansele or and that dork faced Karonlina Kurkova or the Tranny thing that old superfish writer was in love with oh right Alssendra Ambrosio or whatever. Anyway this is the superficial so I disected her that’s the point and now I am done.

    Oh and Orlando Bloom does NOT deserve her, it’s quite an upgrade from Kate Bosworth but herdidn’t even deserve Kate. So why do women love Orlando? I just don’t get it.

  10. Kaiser

    Oh my fucking god! She’s gorgeous!
    Would so love to teach her 24/7 this dirty thing with the bees and the flowers.

  11. CaptainMorgan

    I love the way that she ‘layers’ her bikini bottom. WTF? Is that so ‘nothing slips out?” Keeps the “outie” in?

  12. Danielle

    she needs some meat on her bones. That boney looks is beyond disgusting, wtf is wrong with people these days.

  13. Lindsay

    Come onnnnnn without make up shes not even cute

    In 3rd and 4th pic you could see her double chin, her face is bloated and she looks constipated and weird

    her body isnt sexy anymore. it looks as if she was toned and thin and then gained weight and lost it and how shes just bones and flab and bloated weirdness. *YAWN*

  14. Conky

    She is one fine ass ho.

    And to those who would say she is too skinny I would say just wait.. they all get fat eventually. Nothing wrong with a skinny broad once in a while.

  15. DeShaun

    I like my women with some meat on them like Queen Latifah

  16. Juan Kerr

    #3, you’re a class act. It would astound me if the ladies are not queuing up at your door.

  17. xxpink

    beautyful like tinkerbell in peter pan

  18. mmd

    ALL YOU MEN are fn pigs

    why cant you respect a woman instead of just looking at her ass!
    god i wish you would all die

  19. Mike

    They missed the photoshop on her right thigh. I would be outraged! Where’s my fucking check Obama?

  20. Drunkman

    I fucking hate Orlando Bloom.

  21. Balack Obama

    What a PERFECT fucking body! That’s the skinny that looks good on someone!
    Why does Obama like Lincoln so much? All the nigs had jobs until he came around and fired them all. They haven’t worked a day since!

  22. K

    Her bikini bottom has a LINING.. like all well-made bikinis. She’s not ‘layering’ bottoms.

  23. Mike

    Happy N1663R day Everyone!

  24. Ramuli Sormal

    I’d love to play scrabble with her

  25. kate

    She is really very hot on the ***seekingsugarmomma. c om*** . There are so many hot pics on videos on that web. If you have a look, you will not want to move the eyes.

  26. Guest

    Miranda Kerr is perfect.
    Any woman would kill somebody
    to look like her.
    Any men to be with her are fucking lucky.
    Yay Miranda!!!!

  27. antoine bugleboy

    i would like to wear her on my face.

    dear sweet jeebus she is a handsome woman.

  28. Jimmy Jim

    white women! niggaz be goin crazy foh that!

  29. MassGrrl

    Wow, she is so pretty. Great figure, but she looks really, really stupid.

  30. julio

    THat woman is fucking skinny ewwww i love meat

  31. Maya

    Miranda Kerr is very very pretty, great body, she could use a tiny bit more curve. But very pretty indeed.

  32. Funeral Guy

    First of all, #18, this site is called The Superficial. Get it? Secondly, this woman is smokin’ hot and obviously loves being photographed half naked. She’s a Victoria’s Secret model, for God’s sake!!!! What are we supposed to say? “Oh, look at her, I bet she’d be fun to talk about quantum physics with. Get over yourself, Feminazi.

  33. Andy

    If I were a (boy) child molester, I’d get rock hard over these pictures.

  34. soahc

    I can’t freakin’ believe anyone would find that sexy. Real women have curves. That is a skeleton.

  35. Guest


    Uhh. . .it’s calling bathingsuit LINING!!!!!
    OMG american’s are so dumb

  36. dee

    @8 she’s also 1/8 filipina

  37. justshoes

    gorgeous face
    gorgeous body
    that’s all.
    she’s perfect

  38. (OMG – we now have to shout louder than this ‘Dietribe’)
    Knee Ya Ha Ha : So. My friend ‘Frank’ from 16th floor come over. I require a rewire of Somali Pirate Satellite ™ because it the shits.
    Then all of a sudden I get some sort of ‘self help’ anonymous text message on TV screen…
    ‘Give me the will to seek the truth wherever it may be, the wisdom to apply it, the fortitude to wait for others to seek it, and the good sense to realize that no one, myself included, has a monopoly on it. Let me have patience and forbearance with those who are restive and when others provoke me, whether willfully or without design. Teach me to keep silent and poised without austerity.’
    Knee Ya Ha Ha : ‘Frank’ – drop the cable change – this Somali Pirate Satellite ™ isn’t so bad. But can we change channel ?
    Let’s watch Mary Tyler Moore Show – and have a little bit of popcorn.
    Oh . And GOOD LUCK WITH THE NEW GUY America !!

  39. Dr McNasty

    She looks good. I’d definitely put my dick in that.

  40. one of the most beautiful girls in the world. I am sure she works hard to have a body like that, good on her

  41. Allen's Woody

    Are you fucking kidding me people??? She looks like a spider monkey or fucking swizzle stick! Eat something bitch!!!!!

  42. Vagabond

    I would drink her bathwater.

  43. # 39-41
    I guess you’re new here – Gr8 points all.
    But maybe get with the program.
    Inside job ?

  44. ………………………………………………………YES, now what?

  45. nastyjay

    and this is news…?

  46. J@ck0

    That’s the body of a 12 year old girl… if you’re into that kind of thing.

  47. #44 Well. We’ll see what Obama does.
    But then I guess – Revolution ?
    The next person jumping from the skyscraper is going to be you or me.
    9 11 was an inside job

  48. Xena

    OK people saying she has a “perfect” body, are sick in the head. Her upper arms are exactly the same size of her lower arms, which is a classic sign of malnourishment in the field of medicine.

  49. Xena

    It’s actually pretty sad how a body type that is considered so “perfect” here, would be immediately treated for malnourishment in a 3rd world world country. Stupid, vain fucking people. The perfect female body is healthy, strong and capable of reproduction–not some androgynous skeleton.

  50. laura

    I wonder if she’s even a B cup but I think the small breasts work on her anyway because she has good proportions everywhere else. She’d look better if she gained 5 to 10 lbs though.

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