Miranda Kerr gets topless for Catholicism

June 3rd, 2010 // 95 Comments

With all the institutionalized child-fucking going on in the Catholic Church it only makes sense they attempt to market themselves to a new audience. Namely people like me who realize God is just a coping mechanism for death but would throw an infant under a bus just to see some tits. However, if that wasn’t the point of this Miranda Kerr photo shoot, I was nowhere near a nursery today. Or the bus station. In fact, I’ve been watching movies with you all morning. Haha! Remember when Batman punched that guy? That was my favorite part between the hours of 8 and 11 a.m.

Photos: Numero

  1. Rita Repulsa


  2. MeMiMy


  3. Jelly Bean

    second?… ? :S

  4. Dave

    @ MeMiMy – HaHa loser…not fast enough!

  5. bar room hero

    goofy looking slag…

    totally going for the “lolita” thing. esp pic 2

  6. MeMiMy


    Who the fuck is this skinny, no titty bitch? Am I supposed to get wet off’a this? WTF?

  7. justbitchin

    I’m bored with this girls tits already.

  8. noodles

    Nice tits, but they’ve made her look kinda like that tiger woord porn star – the pointy-headed one.

  9. Deacon Jones

    That’s the most I’ve been turned on by “mostly clothed” photo shoot in a long time..

    Love the red miniskirt. I would become a priest if they dressed like that.

  10. Rachell

    Her face looks like Kate Moss in the first pic.

  11. I think I am converting to Catholicism.

  12. McFeely Smackup

    I don’t know who this is, but that shouldn’t stop her from getting naked.

  13. Fati87

    This would be very exciting if she actually had tits to show. I am not turned on by moscito bites, otherwise I’d be hot all summer long.

  14. Parker

    If that’s Miranda Kerr then where’s her ass? She never gets in front of a camera without showing it off.

  15. Oh Shit, I Said Fuck.

    That’s weird, when did I start masturbating?

  16. Deacon Jones

    Shit, this is enough to make priests want to fuck a woman…

    Maybe this is the answer to the international crisis plaguing the church….vinyl miniskirts and heels for all schoolgirls

  17. Amanda-La

    I need to know where to buy those leggings! SO CUTE!

  18. not MK

    Sorry but im Miranda Kerr Superfan #1 and that skanky hoe is NOT MK. Looks nothing like her. The fish is taking a page from Fox news with his attention to fact checking >.>

  19. Amanda-La

    #18 It’s her. Google Miranda Kerr Numero.

  20. The Original Shawn

    Two things here:

    1) MK always looks god-awful homely in these arty photoshoots. Either they purposely ugly her up for those, or she’s hella made-up during other shoots and just not that pretty to begin with. I really want to believe the former and not the latter.

    2) There was WAY too much effort put into the child molester joke. This site gets harder to read by the day.

  21. netstarman

    I don’t know why but I have a feeling she’s going straight to Hell for this one.For some reason it just doesn’t look to good for her on these risky costumes.

  22. Tek

    Why does she look so pale and sickly and what’s with the orange hair? FAIL.

  23. chris

    tasteless photo shoot. I dare the photog to do a similar shoot with muhammad

  24. novicenurse

    Not funny, Fish. Using the term “child fucking” and talking about “throwing an infant under a bus” is crossing a line. I get that this is a site for bikini pictures and penis jokes (and I’m fine with that) but there’s no need to stoop to writing about pedophilia and infanticide. And to all of you who are going to post barely literate comments to me telling me to lighten up, etc., save your breath because I’m not going to bother reading any of the comments that follow.

  25. ThisorThat

    What manner of homosexual looks at a girls tits and declares that they are bored?

  26. Deacon Jones

    If you guys don’t laugh at this video, there’s something wrong with you.

    News reporter gets bit by snake on air-


  27. Jenna


  28. citylove

    WTF !!! She looks ugly ! Those hair are not for her ! Catholicist are stupid !

  29. Homer

    Mmmm… sacrelicious.

  30. WTF

    I know these kinds of shoots are supposed to be all artsy and shit, but they made her look uglier than normal.

  31. OJ's Mom

    @24 – Go get your meds refilled and then relax.

    I’ve met the Fish writer, and he hardly ever abuses children, and rarely throws babies under vehicles.

  32. jim jones

    So you’re an admitted troll. Why even bother with a site like this? Hoping to find some pedophilia or infanticide? Personally I don’t think there’s much that is funnier than a dead baby joke.

  33. Father O'Brian

    I agree with #24, I’d never throw a perfectly good baby under a bus. They make such good torches it’d be a damn shame to waste one. That baby fat burns so bright. Boy, I’ll tell ya, light the hair then hold’em up by the feet and you’d think you had a Coleman lantern in your hand. Sure, they cry till they burn down a little but all babies cry f’chrissakes. I remember one day when I had three little girls tied up naked in the church basement and, well that’s a story for another day. But they cried too, just like babies. Don’t burn half as well but they cry.

  34. Dan Rather

    I’ve been learning how to write news stories check this out. @24 says and I quote ” I’m fine with … penis”

  35. Are people supposed to be impressed with these pictures?

  36. Beastman AIDS

    @24 Lighten up etc.

  37. Molested child

    Not cool Fish.

  38. Dead Baby

    Yea Fish, not cool at all.

  39. Logic

    Yeah, Christianity is all made up. That’s why they had the brilliant idea to make the church female, make believers “brides of Christ” when they die, have no sex in heaven, include a virgin birth that would offend everyone in the middle east, have women as witnesses to the ressurection when at the time they were considered unreliable witnesses, present biblical leaders with their shortcomings, make pleasurable things against the rules (drunkenness, lust, gluttony, etc.), and threaten people with damnation when they die. Yep. Makes perfect sense.

  40. Molested Dead Baby

    I; however, find this incredibly hilarious!

  41. Bart



    Polemic is an acceptable form of argument…You used it yourself.

    PS. Gotcha!

  42. L

    Holy channeling-Kate-Moss in the first pic! Not only her face, but the pose, the styling, everything in the 1st picture, is so Kate Moss-esque.

  43. Iloveheidi

    I don’t think Miranda Kerr should be a model at all, she’s pretty but for her little, non-voluptuous frame to work for Victoria’s secret as a catalogue or runway model is blasphemous. She should maybe work in Noxema or commercials where the models look like ordinary people. What happened to the days of Christy Turlington, Naomi Campbell, and Linda Evangelista the three true supermodels.

    And the fact that Miranda Kerr is going to be representing the Catholic Church in such a way is insane, when did the Vatican become a Corporation?

  44. Machinegunrap

    “The Catholic Church: We’ve Made a Few Changes.”

  45. Iloveheidi

    The true SUPERmodels

    1.Naomi Campbell
    2.Linda Evangelista
    3.Christy Turlington
    4.Cindy Crawford
    5. Claudia Schiffer
    6.Carla Bruni -I knew her way before anyone, Saw her in 93′ as a little kid, she come on tv and did a monte carlo commercial
    7. Karen Mulder -the original Barbie
    8. Helena Christenson
    9. Kate Moss
    10. Beverly Peele
    11. Kirsty Hume
    12. Nicki Taylor -Easy, Breazy Beautiful Cover Girl -4life
    13. Stephanie Seymore
    14.Shalom Harlow
    15. Amber Valetta
    16. Carmen Kass
    17. Brigette Hall
    18. Kristen Mcmenamy

    OH AND *TYRA WISHES. She was a blip promoted by some type of agenda to make actress-like girls be models. Plus she chased modeling, where all the other girls were discovered really young. Like an Agent saw Naomi walking from school at 13 and immediately flew her to France where she did the first ever French Vogue cover -before then there were no black woman on the cover a great feet for someone who is just thirteen.

  46. mia

    hi guys

    sorry to burst your bubble but this bitch isn’t actually miranda kerr? do any of you even know what she looks like?

    way to go

  47. Donk Donkerson

    Would have never known it was her if it wasn’t in the title.

  48. disappointed

    A little to much hatred in your commentary – there is a limit to everything and you went well past the funny/not funny line. Not clever, just very base, scraping the bottom. Please reconsider and bring the trajectory upward.

    From a long time reader of your site.

  49. disappointed

    A little to much hatred in your commentary – there is a limit to everything and you went well past the funny/not funny line. Not clever, just very base, scraping the bottom. Please reconsider and bring the trajectory upward.

    From a long time reader of your site.

  50. jackch

    WTF did they do to her?? burn off her eyebrows? I hate this shoot

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