Miranda Kerr gets topless for Orlando Bloom

June 23rd, 2008 // 141 Comments

Victoria’s Secret model Miranda Kerr and boyfriend Orlando Bloom hit up Gran Canaria, Spain for some topless action. I love how she’s using a book to cover her fun parts. When I’m nude it requires the whole Encyclopedia Brittanica to cover my business. You know, once it loaded onto an iPod. I should really turn the AC down in my apartment. Yeah, that’s gotta be it…

NOTE: Pics link to uncensored NSFW versions which include a Miranda Kerr nipple and, for the ladies/Geekologist, an entire Orlando Bloom buttocks. Who loves ya?


  1. darkrose

    Orlando sure likes the girls with the super skinny, malnourished little boy look.

    And to the guys hilariously saying “Why doesn’t she look like the VS ad/show?” well hate to break it to you but that’s what pushup bras do. They can create cleavage when there’s nothing there. Most of the VS models are A cups.

  2. Leslie

    /) c_c_(\
    (/(_ O _)\)
    ? ?? ?OMG,she is so sexy.she posted a profile on a famous dating club ,called
    “tallchat. com”,seeking boyfriends.of course ,there are full of super models,beauties on that site!!!

  3. KIKI

    heard he was hung like a church mouse and thats why he likes the girls to have wee boy hips, tight spaces and all……….if youre a slut how tight could it be in the 1st place??

  4. kitty_kat

    Holy shit! She looks hungry! How can anyone say she looks gorgeous? There’s nothing remotely feminine about her. I mean, of course you don’t have to be super-curvy to look like a woman, but she’s just a walking skeleton. Ugh! Man! Those VS models are airbrushed to DEATH!

  5. Michele

    She’s gorgeous. And he used to be too. What the Hell happened to him? His body looks misshapen now – skinny in all the wrong places with a saggy ‘paunch’ in his midsection. Boy seriously needs to hit the gym.

  6. Archibald Tuttle

    Now I know there are other parts of the picture to be looking at, but, is that an astrology book in her arms? The yellowish colored one just left of her nipple. I hope so, because if she believes in destiny and is gullible, she’s basically mine!

  7. gryphon50

    For god’s sake, eat something.

  8. Doritio Man

    She looks brainy. That’s a turn-on. She has way more charisma going on than that Heidi/Ssspencccer chic.

  9. Gia

    32. Gia – June 23, 2008 5:36 PM

    Im a gal, and I know guys love a gal they can punch.

    funny whoever wrote this! but I have a sense of humour!

  10. Pattytricia

    he has a really unflattering butt… awful thing…… I can’t believe a skin and bones waif can be called a VS model… it’s a sad sad day….

  11. Arden

    I really, really look forward to the day you are sued and put in jail. A lot.

  12. I really, really do not understand. What is this American obsession with “asterisking” or “starring” the alleged naughty bits? You have invaded Iraq, spent billions and billions of dollars to get oil at $20 a barrel and enrich the friends your VP Cheney. You failed miserably on the first objective and succeeded wonderfully on the second. The rest of the world can’t stand you and you are governed by an idiot. If anything deserves “asterisking” (the interweb equivalent of “waterboarding”), it is your foreign policy. Yet you are obsessed with a hint of nipple! Seriously folks (and I know I am talking to the elite of American society here!), you are seriously fucked.

  13. v

    wow her breast is very saggy and that for such a thin girl… I am the only one who find that odd?

  14. v

    wow her breast is very saggy and that for such a thin girl… I am the only one who find that odd?

  15. Grace

    Nice sack of bones!

    I didn’t know Orlando Bloom was into 12-year old boys!?!

  16. All GRAN CANARIA in http://www.gpsgrancanaria.com. Enjoy of Sun as Bloom and Kerr!!

  17. ToTellTheTruth

    This bitch either needs to eat more or suck more cock for the protein. She’s got the body of a young catholic school boy. Gross.

  18. Kylie Cox

    Orlando must ne lucky one…but don’t u think that the girl is a little bit skinny??

  19. snarkymalarky

    Eeew, is that a giant mole by her ass? I like how she’s all hamming it up for the cameras; moley moley stick figure girl. And as for Orlando; yeh, I never saw what all the fuss was about him. He’s alright looking, but there’s alot of better looking guys in hollywood…and heck, even in hometown USA.

  20. #62,
    You’re the fucking idiot, click on the picture and the “stars” go away.


  21. go home fatties

    She has a great figure. Look at her bone structure. Sure she’s on the thin side, but she’s a model for fucks sake.

    Anyone who says she’s gross or looks like a boy is a redneck fat ass. Get the hell out of your hick town where the norm is to be 25lbs overweight.

    Hit the gym you lard asses and then maybe you’ll see that you actually have a bone structure underneath all that flab and cellulite.

  22. shes gross

    #71…you have some mental issues, and I assume its because maybe you use to be fat??

    First of all, her shoulders are so bony and her legs and arms are so thin. She looks malnutritioned to say the least. If that is what healthy looks like..then I am glad I am what # 71 considers fat. I am 5’9″ and 140 lbs. I have a big butt and hips and arms and legs that do not look like teenie little twigs! I wear a size 6, which is well below the average woman size of 12.

    These girls are just too thin and starved these days. One day, when they are 40 and already have osteoporosis, they will look back and wish they ate some food that contain these things called nutrients!! It really bothers me because so many girls think that you have to be that skinny to be attractive. And its boneheads like #71 that contribute to the problem.

  23. I didn’t knew SKELLETOR had a sister?

  24. bunso

    is the same insecure fat chick posting the same repetitive anti-thin messages over and over again?

    miranda is a bit on the slim side… but she is (a) TALL and (b) a lingerie MODEL. she is definitely not “gross”. you don’t see all her bones poking out or her arms/legs looking like twigs. she actually looks FIT. so geez people… stop being so insecure and give skinny people a break. the rest of the world is not as fat as the average american woman

  25. Grunion

    Shes skinny as fuck and still more manly than him

  26. The truth teller

    Man she has the most fugliest face in the world, her body is ok but she has a average skinny girl body. Her face is the most revolting thing thought I dont know how he sleeps with her, she most likley waers a bag on her face during sex.

    Her nose is way to long and her eyes are spread too far apart, and her face is hella round. You got to admit she doesnt have the most beautiful face around.
    Her face gets uglier when she smiles weird.

    you americans just dont want to admit that this girl is gorgeous and you are just jealous cause the average of your people is the fattest of the world.

  28. the truth teller

    Man her boobs are saggy, ew she works for Victoria secrect isnt she sopposed to have boobs.

    My boobs are the same size hers is 34b but my boobs are perky and stay in place I dont even need to wear a bra becuase the are firm and stay in place without one. Well at least we know she has a ugly body to match her fugly face.

  29. By The Danube

    #71. Yes, I do understand how to remove the asterisks. The point I was trying to make was given the obscenity of American foreign policy what is the point of sticking asterisks on the odd nipple? Which is more obscene?

  30. biene444

    What do you think, how long they gonny stay together…? Is it really serious this time…?

    She has nice eyes (specially with make-up), but she is too thin, that is not sexy any more!!! And she looks like 18…Orlando needs another girl, a girl who cares about him. And he needs a haircur!!! Very often he looks like a homeless…and he does not seem to be very happy. On the most pictures Miranda is smiling (for the paps) and he looks just pissed…

    Sorry for my englisch, I am not a native speaker.

  31. Jono

    Wow shes awesome.. i love the skinny non flabby ones. stop whinging you fat filth fuckers

  32. Jono

    Wow shes awesome.. i love the skinny non flabby ones. stop whinging you fat filth fuckers

  33. Jono

    Wow shes awesome.. i love the skinny non flabby ones. stop whinging you fat filth fuckers

  34. Jono

    Wow shes awesome.. i love the skinny non flabby ones. stop whinging you fat filth fuckers

  35. Jono

    Wow shes awesome.. i love the skinny non flabby ones. stop whinging you fat filth fuckers

  36. Jono

    Wow shes awesome.. i love the skinny non flabby ones. stop whinging you fat filth fuckers

  37. Kim Lardassian

    God they both look like they need a good feed – both too thin and emaciated. Her breasts look like windsocks – not nice.

  38. kitty_kat

    @74-No. We are not the same person. And no, unlike your tired retort of you’re all fat” implies, we are probably not. Can I let you in on a little secret? “Skinny” is not a synonym for “fit”. Please tell me what about this woman (IS she a woman?) is fit? She has zero muscle tone. She’s merely skin and bones.

  39. Luchi

    @ 13 – She Australian, not British you dumb fuck. As for the rest of you, news flash, the girl is a lingerie model. It’s her job to be skinny. If you all were paid as much as she is, you would all look exactly like her.

  40. Thea

    Anyone knows where her bikini is from??

  41. maria


  42. nerdkiller

    whose ass is that in the last one. yuckers

  43. sara

    Doesn’t that woman have a bag to carry around all her crap!?

  44. tracy

    i have seen her pictures on sugarmommymatch d ot c o m “`

    they are interesting! and there also have a lot of mature and wealthy women seeking younger handsome guys on it!

  45. MIAMI

    skinny and fit are totally different…. she’s just plain skinny (not toned) she does look like shes a 13 year old boy with boobs. A healty woman is resembled by Jennifer Garner. There you are able to see that she is toned, fit and actually takes care of her body…and is not just ugly skinny. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE.

  46. Caitlyn

    Could somone feed this girl a steak! Ew!

  47. michy

    where have her booobs gone?or maybe she never had them.photoshooooooooooop

  48. Curtis

    Isn’t it funny how ALWAYS when there are pics of celebs we get to see the women pics and more of them but only one of Orlando and they cover his butt with a star, but the pics of her she has her butt stuck in the air with her suit up like a thong and showing all cheeks but when it comes to showing men it is a double standard with the media. Tired of the media discriminating against male celebs!!

  49. Kiss

    She is yummy. It’s funny how much taller she is compared to him. I like how he walks around in his bare butt. He is a douche but she is hott.

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