Miranda Kerr Named Her Son After Her Ex
In case there were any doubts on who wears the cleavage-pants in Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom’s relationship, she apparently named their son after her ex-boyfriend because who doesn’t like having a constant reminder of the guy who used to bang your wife around? Frankly, I prefer it. Via Us Magazine:
Born on Jan. 6, 2011, Flynn Christopher Blanchard Copeland Bloom was (in part) named after the 28-year-old model’s first boyfriend, Christopher Middlebrook. Middlebrook died tragically in a car accident as a teenager. (Kerr does not indicate the year of her beau’s death.)
“Chris and I had been dating for two years,” she told Australia’s Daily Telegraph. “After he died, I wrote him a letter that said I hoped to name my first child after him in some way. I told Orlando and he was the one who said he’d be happy to do that. Orlando’s a good guy.”
I want Orlando Bloom to pay careful attention here because we’re going to compare how he handled this situation to how a real man such as myself would’ve responded. Believe me when I say this will be informative:
MIRANDA: I’m going to partially name our son after the true love of my life who I would’ve totally, if not preferably, married instead of you if he hadn’t died.
ORLANDO: Will we still have sex?
Christ, that was painful. Now, watch and learn:
MIRANDA: I’m going to partially name our son after the true-
ME: I just ejaculated in my pants.
ME: Please don’t leave me. *starts crying* I’ll let you hit me. You can hit me whenever you want. Why won’t you hit me?! Oh, God!
Photos: Splash News