Two Australian Billionaires Got In A Street Fight Over Miranda Kerr

May 14th, 2014 // 33 Comments
Miranda Kerr Topless
Miranda Kerr Topless
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Part of being a world famous supermodel is you have to have sex with billionaires. Right, Heidi Klum? Right. Except at the end of the day, billionaires are men like the rest of us, and men are territorial sons of bitches which is why filthy rich childhood best friends David Gyngell and James Packer found themselves brawling on the streets of Sydney over Miranda Kerr. NY Daily News reports with hilarious pictures I might add:

Miranda Kerr’s rumored billionaire beau got in quite the brawl.
Australian media mogul James Packer found himself in a street fight with close pal David Gyngell, the chairman of Nine Entertainment Co., on May 4 in Sydney outside his home.
Packer split from wife Erica Baxter in September 2013 after six years of marriage and in December he was romantically linked to the 31-year-old supermodel months after her separation from husband Orlando Bloom.

If you’re wondering how something like this hasn’t happened sooner, there’s a reason The Golden Octagon sits upon the beaches of Murder Island. They say on a cold day you can hear François-Henri Pinault‘s cries of “Sonic BOOM” echo through the palm trees as he fells each and every opponent who dares to try and take that what is his. One time he pulled a man’s spine out through his neck which is understandable because Salma Hayek‘s breasts are fucking grenade. I’d throw a grenade at a baby if they told me to. I’ll go get one right now.

Photos: British GQ


  1. Women can reduce even the most intelligent, cultured men into savages. How good is her pussy that men who literally have access to thousands if not millions of pussies are willing to trade blows over it?

    I’m betting it was forged in the heart of a dying star and lined with gold and cocaine.

    • To be fair, according to the article they were fighting about the way the guy’s treating his ex-wife, not about who gets to stick it in her Kerrtains

    • Famous, supermodel pussy, which I imagine is even better if you can take it away from someone else who is also rich and famous. At the end of the day saying that you banged a chick with name recognition around the world will always trump the chick that works at Hooters that may be hotter, but no one has ever heard of in their lives.

      Marilyn Monroe has been dead for like 800 years and they still bring her up when they talk about Kennedy or DiMaggio. They never bring up the 8 million other no name skanks those guys probably banged.

    • Deacon Jones

      Eloquently put, Don.

      I disagree with El Jefe, however. There’s a reason certain celebrities only date non-celebrities; they dont want the extra drama.

      If i was rich and famous Id go to where all the usual money grubbing whores hang out and just sleep with all of them, and avoid the high end ones that bring attention to you.

      • You do realize billionaires love to date and marry supermodels because they are well supermodels and they love having children with them because they want good looking children. Supermodels are basically like thoroughbred horses that win the Kentucky Derby or whatnot and then have a lucrative stud life after their racing career is over.

        Basically as a billionaire the natural progression is million dollar plus supercars, $100 million dollar plus homes and a supermodel wife who gives you supermodel babies.

    • I would fight you for Roseanne Barr, Zaloog.

  2. I’m imagining something along the lines of the Hugh Grant-Colin Firth fight in Bridget Jones’ Diary.

  3. Miranda Kerr Nude GQ British
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Those Aussies were fighting over who would get to put the tiger in her tank.

  4. “My good sir, was your gaze directed at my bitch? I will not have your covetous eyes molesting my recently acquired penis wallet! Shall it be pistols at daw- Ow! Very well: open-palm pansy slap fight it is then! HAVE AT YOU!”

  5. Slash

    Supermodels make a pretty good living. Why do they bang ugly old guys?

    I know why, I’m not an idiot, but c’mon, Miranda, break the mold.

    If you’re newly divorced and still super hot and don’t have to worry about money, start banging equally hot 20-somethings, not tubby old dudes. There’s always time to get some horny old guy to marry you, but bang hotties now, while you’re still hot.

    • Moggster

      Because deep down, most women can only respect their partner if he earns more than them. Having a schlong big enough to hurt them during sex is weirdly enough a mitigating factor.
      But still, money and influence are what’s most important.

  6. I’m not surprise, look at her if she’s not worth fighting for there is no hope in this world ;)

  7. Miranda Kerr Nude GQ British
    Commented on this photo:

    In all truth my hand often gets in a fight with my penis over Miranda Kerr…oh look, there it goes again!

  8. dennis

    That billionaire Packer is old school Aussie. Not the first time he was willing to knuckle up.

    He was fighting newsreporters or papparazzi a little while ago. Unlike Beiber, he doesn’t hide behind a group of bodyguards.

  9. In a related story, two homeless men got into a fight over Khloe Kardashian.

  10. where women glow and men chunder

    great headline. but The Gynge is far from a billionaire.

    He’s a TV exec worth $100m at the most.

  11. Miranda Kerr Nude GQ British
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh my…I’m not gay anymore. Geez.

  12. I would fight an army of billionaires over Miranda Kerr. Ummm….I need to think of a joke here, quick…Peter Dinklage is short y’all? Shoot too late – I said something sincere. Oh, the shame!

  13. I Googled both of these fuckers, and they both look like low-to-average looking, boring as fuck business drones. What the fuck is it with women and money? Christ, have some fucking self respect.

    • In my experience, women are far more materialistic than men while men are more obsessed with looks. Sorry but it’s true.

      Money is to a man as great tits are to a woman.

      Get it now?

  14. If I was a billionaire I’d purchase someone a hell of a lot better looking than her. Olivia Munn. I like Olivia Munn(‘s awesome tits) and you know she be down for some freaky action for enough cash and a few jewels. Or that dis chicken lady. But this one? Weird-looking head.

  15. She’s 30 and just now has billionaires fighting over her?

    Pfft amateur.

  16. Miranda Kerr Nude GQ British
    Commented on this photo:

    This photo is very acceptable. Her head is still weird though.

  17. Pillsy

    AShane Warne! Warnie — An Aussie celeb even more celebrity-ish than those two sad rich guys and therefore more attractive to a bored supermodel. And Warnie apparently has the mental stimulation:
    Except is Mr Packer Warnie’s boss, cricketwise and therefore a mate doesn’t hit on a mate’s bird? It’s complicated

  18. Miranda Kerr Nude GQ British
    Commented on this photo:

    How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

    The world may never know… tehehe!

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