Here’s Miranda Kerr posing in a bikini on Sunday, and there’s really nothing you can do with these photos but acknowledge a baby came out of here just over 90 days ago and proceed to judge all women based on this criteria from here on out. And, ladies, don’t get mad at me. Get mad at nature for apparently forging Miranda out of nothing but rubber bands and spectacular mammaries. I’m just a guy who writes sexy words on the Internet, I don’t build women. Yet.
Photos: Flynet/AKM Images.net
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Georgio | April 19, 2011 at 11:32 am
She still looks pregnant. What a porker.
Ngeguigui Cvjkdsskd | April 19, 2011 at 12:00 pm
2/10.
The Critical Crassness | April 19, 2011 at 2:14 pm
Georgio, Get your eyes tested immediately. You are the victim of a serious healthy issue…..pigitis of the eye. Either that or you are just plain stupid.
GravyLeg | April 19, 2011 at 11:34 am
Sure, you can tone up but you cannot unwreck a vagina…
stinky mcpoop | April 19, 2011 at 11:58 am
If you look close it looks like her bikini bottom is double-lined with Spanx to hold back some serious taco salad.
The Critical Crassness | April 19, 2011 at 2:16 pm
There’s always more than one way to fuck the crap out of her…..expand your horizons, stinky!
McFeely Smackup | April 19, 2011 at 11:58 am
I imagine it looking like someone tossed a grenade onto a side of beef. The resulting hole is pretty close to a post-birth vagina right?
darkfall13 | April 19, 2011 at 1:15 pm
I’d still wreck this chick.
dudeatdudedotdude | April 19, 2011 at 2:23 pm
lol u guys realize dont u that during birth the baby’s skullbones contract so the head is about about the width of a fist? thus not going to wreck it so much as fist it..
GravyLeg | April 19, 2011 at 4:23 pm
Dude. I saw a vagina birth 3 babies and can tell you that it never gripped the same again… Just saying… Cannot be unwrecked…
And yes, I too would still nail that…
stinky mcpoop | April 20, 2011 at 1:08 am
I’m not saying I wouldn’t screw her, I’m just saying I think I’d need a pretty big washer for it.
hmna | April 20, 2011 at 10:14 am
Maybe she had a C-section. Then there would be hope.
Deacon Jones | April 19, 2011 at 11:36 am
Just goes to show you, have ‘em young ladies!
(cue onslaught of “but if I had a ………, I would look like that too!”)
hungarianprincess | April 19, 2011 at 11:50 am
no shit, although it helps, you dont need a “personal trainer, nutritionist, nanny, etc” to bounce back into shape, hell look at britney she has all the money in the world and it still hangin on to her “baby belly”
qwerty | April 19, 2011 at 12:00 pm
You can lose weight by yourself but you can’t get rid of excess skin & stretchmarks without tummy tuck and laser,no matter how well you eat and how much you exercise
Then again not every woman even needs that,it’s a fuckin russian roulette
dr.jimmy | April 19, 2011 at 12:57 pm
stop talking nonsense, she couldn’t have tummy tuck done, no responsible doctor would perform it so early after birth, not to mention the horrid scar it leaves
Sugar | April 19, 2011 at 1:03 pm
Miranda Kerr doesn’t have any of those people surrounding her helping her with her lifestyle. She just has willpower, a high pressure job and good genes.
Marceelf | April 19, 2011 at 2:00 pm
I don’t think she had a tummy tuck, but you are wrong, dr. jimmy, my friend in Chicago had a very reputable doctor who did her tummy tuck right after her son was delivered c-sectiion. I thought she was nuts, but vanity has no price. I think Miranda Kerr was blessed by the genetic gods and youth. She looks amazing.
qwerty | April 20, 2011 at 9:04 am
Yeah,I’ve heard about tummy tuck right after C-section as well
juaquin ingles | April 19, 2011 at 11:37 am
This is good. Tired of chicks with industrial sized love handles blaming it on the kid they had 10 years ago.
Snooki's Taint | April 19, 2011 at 11:39 am
That is some of the best Photoshop [tm] work I’ve ever seen! (you can see where they blotched – the birthmark on the right). Nonetheless, fap fap fap fap fap.
K Soze | April 21, 2011 at 1:24 am
You’re full of shit. Then again given your name, its not all that surprising.
jumpin_j | April 19, 2011 at 11:41 am
“Spectacular mammaries”? Meh.
Rubber | April 19, 2011 at 11:41 am
Now if only Orlando Bloom’s face could bounce back into a shape I didn’t want to punch.
Nolando | April 19, 2011 at 11:43 am
Now that’s WINNING!
Hola | April 19, 2011 at 11:52 am
She is so fat – what a pig!
Ngeguigui Cvjkdsskd | April 19, 2011 at 12:01 pm
1/10.
The Critical Crassness | April 19, 2011 at 2:18 pm
You should join Georgio at the eye clinic.
cupcake | April 19, 2011 at 11:54 am
She gets paid to look good. That is her job. She cannot allow herself to lose more than a few months of work or she becomes irrelevant. It is a rough industry. Real World women don’t look like this immediately following childbirth for the following reasons:
1. We don’t have to
2. Typically, we have to feed, bathe, nurture our own child
3. We have to go back to our shit office jobs after 6 weeks… .THEN go home and take care of said child.
4. Because we can’t cry and eat at the same time.
5. Those “love handles” are actually “belly bands of resentment”. You ruin our lives, we stay fat to ruin yours.
The moral of the story: Don’t knock your women up, men… unless you have the means to support them AND your new child. Then we will have all the time in the world to return to our pre-baby hotness.
(now bring on the hate)
fellow female | April 19, 2011 at 12:04 pm
:)
Love this – belly bands of resentment – hahahaha!!
hungry and disappointed | April 19, 2011 at 12:09 pm
nicely done.
…now get off that computer and make me a sandwich, fattie.
cupcake | April 19, 2011 at 12:11 pm
Nope. I made a deal with my husband, that if I procreate, he had to provide. I lost all of my post-baby pounds within three months. My waist is actually 2 inches smaller than it was before. :)
celylj | April 19, 2011 at 4:17 pm
ahaaAAHHAAHahaHAAHHAAHHA…exactly.
Pete | April 19, 2011 at 12:19 pm
What shit office job gives you time to post long meticulously edited jeremiads? I hope you’re not an air traffic controller?
Hola | April 19, 2011 at 12:21 pm
Amen Pete – she needs to get off the computer and go clean the house
cupcake | April 19, 2011 at 12:21 pm
Nope, I am a writer here at home and I pounded that out in a second. Which sounds a bit like what you do in front of your computer all day, no doubt.
cupcake | April 19, 2011 at 12:23 pm
Thanks for the compliment, though. My editor would be flummoxed to read that someone considered my chicken scratch to be meticulously edited. :)
still waiting for that sandwich | April 19, 2011 at 12:34 pm
Wow, cupcake. With all the time you spend being a writer, taking care of those kids, and keeping so hot, I hope your husband gets enough time to kiss your feet. Just to be charitable, you should be taking a few minutes to stop patting yourself on the back every few months or so to throw him a beejer…that is when your not making him fall in love with you all over and over again with your easy-going wit. (In case the sarcasm isn’t sufficiently evident, I’ve gotten warmer vibes from a glacier.) You do know this is supposed to be a humorous site, no?
cupcake | April 19, 2011 at 12:41 pm
Oh please. My husband gets taken care of. We only have one kid and I am fucking hot. :)
cupcake | April 19, 2011 at 12:46 pm
I understand that this is a humorous site and I find it HILARIOUS that you are so intimidated by a women with confidence. My life is better than yours. HA HA HA.
Hola | April 19, 2011 at 12:49 pm
OMG your husband fucking HATES you!!!!!!! You know he is out fucking some mute fatty! Who cares if your hot………you suck!
Deacon Jones | April 19, 2011 at 5:02 pm
lmao…
I guarantee he stares blankly at the kitchen wall as soon as she starts talking when he comes home from work.
Pete | April 19, 2011 at 12:49 pm
Is it just me or do all of these women here who post passionate defenses of fatties always describe themselves as hot?
McFeely Smackup | April 19, 2011 at 1:06 pm
At least cupcake aknowledges that the whole “women don’t need a man” line is bullshit. She’s fully endorsing the fact that a woman needs someone paying her bills if she’s going to be hot. Fatties can do it on their own…plenty of time in the day to eat.
cupcake | April 19, 2011 at 2:39 pm
I am not defending anyone. I am explaining the reality some women deal with. This model is contractually obligated to look hot. She MUST look hot to pay her bills. So she looks hot. It is her job. It is that simple: Hit the gym a week after birth or lose your house.
This is not the reality of 99.9% of women out there.
That being said… when the average woman has to return back to work 6 weeks after giving birth- the stress and pressures of this leaves little time to take care of yourself. What I AM saying is that if you MEN have a problem with the physical appearance of your wives and baby-mamas after they have YOUR offspring- maybe YOU should take the pressure off of them by supporting your family.
I was able to have time to get back into shape quickly because my husband and I made an agreement… not all women have this luxury. I know many a hot single gal that transformed into a frumpy new mom because they had to hold down a 50 hour a week job, pump their tits every hour in a public bathroom and try to be a wife and mother. Sounds sexy, right?
McFeely, you are damned right- we do need a man- or at least a fleet of assistants. No one can do it all on their own and take care of themselves. That is all I was trying to say.
If you have a problem with it- step up, be a grown-assed man and take care of your wife.
Deacon Jones | April 19, 2011 at 5:05 pm
You shouldnt have to make an agreement, Cupcake. Love is blind, that’s what I always say.
(gets in car to drive to battered women’s shelter to volunteer)
Happy Husband of Cupcake | April 19, 2011 at 6:14 pm
My wife rocks. I look forward to coming home to her every single day.
You trolls can suck it.
imagen | April 19, 2011 at 1:05 pm
You win, cupcake. These losers here who haven’t seen a vagina, pre or post childbirth, don’t know what to do when a woman makes a valid point other to say “HURR DURR..makes me a sammich, woman!” or “Why is she typing and not doin’ my laundry? *scratches balls*” Oh, she’s always a fattie, too..can’t forget that one. Facking morons.
Hola | April 19, 2011 at 1:16 pm
What is a “facking moron?” you “fucking idiot!”
antoine bugleboy | April 19, 2011 at 10:30 pm
Man, would you guys all just shut the “fack” up already??
I’M TRYIN TO CONCENTRATE.
…
…
*fap fapp fap*
dr.jimmy | April 19, 2011 at 1:48 pm
“We don’t have to” = we’re to lazy
Big Ass Bunny Feet | April 19, 2011 at 5:54 pm
Women need to get a mind of their own and stop having babies. Why are you ruining your lives and bodies just to spend a fortune on some loser kid that will ultimately just play xbox and smoke pot all day? Dumb da dumb dumb dumb! We don’t live on fucking famrs anymore ladies. You don’t need to push a baby out of your cooter anymore.
chels | April 19, 2011 at 9:07 pm
Why is it that nobody can believe that there are hot women on this site? So, because cupcake has explained the ways in which she was able to maintain her body post-baby, she’s automatically a fat tranny? I get that this is a humor site, but since when is humor synonymous with moronic? It’s as if you all have never seen a hot female who can use a computer. “It types and clicks buttons… it has nice tits and a size 4 waist… it must be a figment of my imagination or a robot, or it’s just waiting for me to let my guard down so it can unzip the skinny suit and expose itself for the gelatinous monstrosity it really is.”
rien | April 19, 2011 at 11:55 am
Not to ruin all your fantasies with reality, but this is only possible if you are willing to give up a) a lot of time with your baby to spend in the gym, and b) breastfeeding, which you can’t do if you lose weight too fast. It just dries up. Poor baby.
dr.jimmy | April 19, 2011 at 1:15 pm
she can afford a gym in her house and have baby close to her. And she does breastfeed, she twitted (IMHO unnecessary) a photo from it.
Banged | April 19, 2011 at 2:27 pm
You’re wrong, breastfeeding can easily be done even if you lose weight quickly. It does not “just dry yp.”
MrsPlant | April 19, 2011 at 5:04 pm
Doesn’t breast-feeding almost help lose weight because it burns a bunch of calories?
Jessica | April 19, 2011 at 10:59 pm
about 500 calories a day. which translates into losing a pound a week
fooey | April 19, 2011 at 6:33 pm
there’s no law that you have to breastfeed
Girl | April 20, 2011 at 2:37 pm
I have to agree that breastfeeding alone will help you get your figure back tremendously. It’s shocking all the idiocy happening in the comments right now!!
Hola | April 19, 2011 at 11:56 am
Please no one respond to the douchebag above……it’s your duty people!
cupcake | April 19, 2011 at 11:59 am
I’m a douchebag for stating the facts?
Hola | April 19, 2011 at 12:00 pm
Yes exactly
cupcake | April 19, 2011 at 12:01 pm
I am sorry that the truth is so painful for you.
Hola | April 19, 2011 at 12:04 pm
apology not excepted
hungarianprincess | April 19, 2011 at 12:13 pm
I think most womens hostility stems from not realizing they didnt look like a model before, so they shouldnt expect to look like that especially after having a baby, but its not unreasonable to lose the 25lbs(not 80) you’re recommended to gain during pregnancy over a 3 month period no matter what your personal finances or time constraints are.
Yeah it always easier for rich people to have access to better things, blah blah blah, but if that logic rang true for beauty standards, Oprah would be a supermodel by now.
Kelley | April 19, 2011 at 1:57 pm
@ Hola … that’s “accepted” dumb-ass, lol.
Deacon Jones | April 19, 2011 at 5:08 pm
While we’re on the subject, Hungarian, how do i tell my girlfriend she needs to lose 5, 7 pounds or so? i can’t see her abs anymore.
Should I make a farting noise or something everytime she takes off her shirt until she gets the hint?
GravyLeg | April 19, 2011 at 12:03 pm
Completely.
cupcake | April 19, 2011 at 12:05 pm
Well, I’d send you a bandage for your wounds and I am sorry that your babymama is still too fat for you to fuck.
Hola | April 19, 2011 at 12:12 pm
Damn that hurt cupcake – do you suck your boyfriends dick with that mouth? But yes you’re correct. I enjoy my women at about 6 ft. 120 lbs. anything over that is disgusting.
cupcake | April 19, 2011 at 12:19 pm
You are right, Hungarianprincess… but I would say, of my girlfriends who have children… the ones that bounce back quickest meet one of the following criteria:
-Health conscious and did not gain 60 pounds during pregnancy.
-Have a job that requires them to return to pre-pregnancy weight, asap (I live in Los Angeles… that is in the job description here)
-Do not have to immediately return to the non-superficial workplace immediately
And it is not 25 pounds, it is 25-35 pounds as recommended by the American College of Obstetrics.
hungarianprincess | April 19, 2011 at 7:28 pm
@Deacon: Just like this: “You need to lose 5 to 7 lbs, I can’t see your abs anymore” trust me, us women like it upfront, ….. but um, on a side note, just make sure she’s no where near a knife and your penis when you say this. Good luck!
Hola | April 19, 2011 at 11:57 am
Cupcake – not rien
McFeely Smackup | April 19, 2011 at 11:57 am
It’s a paradox. She looks good, really good, like I should want to do all kinds of stuff on her. But her vagina is a post-apocalyptic wasteland of destruction, and likely zombies. My penis hasn’t been this confused since finding out Tyra Banks isn’t a drag queen.
GravyLeg | April 19, 2011 at 12:01 pm
…like throwing a shoe down a hallway…
lol | April 19, 2011 at 12:17 pm
…a roll of carpet wouldn’t touch the sides..
JC | April 19, 2011 at 1:15 pm
I don’t care if I have to shake it back and forth just to touch the sides–I’d still hit it and never quit it.
Sugar | April 19, 2011 at 1:07 pm
So you’ve never had sex with a woman who has had a child?
Deacon Jones | April 19, 2011 at 5:10 pm
I have.
It was like when i was 13 and I tried to fuck a jar of Hellman’s Mayonaise.
friendlyfires | April 19, 2011 at 12:08 pm
oh my … she doesn’t shave … bearded clam alert!
Willie Dixon | April 19, 2011 at 12:19 pm
Pict 1 isn’t all that flattering. Pict 4 is more like it. Something trippy about her thighs vs her waist. But considering this is her after a kid 4 months ago, this is pretty righteous.
Ed | April 19, 2011 at 12:46 pm
Now that’s talent!
Louis Winthorpe III | April 19, 2011 at 12:51 pm
doesnt matter how hot she is now, shes got a kid, fantasy over . period.
Big Ass Bunny Feet | April 19, 2011 at 5:56 pm
Very true. Nothing sexy about a raw vagina and a stupid woman slaving over a baby. Pathetic.
Clarence Beeks | April 19, 2011 at 12:57 pm
I’ve never thought she was pretty. She is cute, but I do not see the big deal about her at all. I have met her when she was with Orlando at Runyon Canyon. I took a picture with Orlando to piss off my online friends….lmao
hungarianprincess | April 19, 2011 at 1:02 pm
I dont think, you pissed them off, I think you convinced them that you’re a homosexual
Clarence Beeks | April 19, 2011 at 1:19 pm
I am a woman, so NO, I am not homosexual.
hungarianprincess | April 19, 2011 at 1:35 pm
lols my bad, I guess the screenname “clarence” which sounds masculine to me and the way you worded your comment threw me off :)
Cock Dr | April 19, 2011 at 12:59 pm
To those poor lovesick women suffering because this super-hot girl landed elf-man AND apparently can bear his elf-children without losing her figure:
You can either go get another quart of ice cream or you can lace up the jogging shoes & get ready for the next hot elf.
Miranda looks great and that’s her job. Well done.
Deacon Jones | April 19, 2011 at 5:13 pm
(high fives Cock Dr)
Lux | April 19, 2011 at 7:19 pm
But REEEAALL women do this, and REAALLL women don’t look like that.
I’m really sick of how my gender is so predictably envious and sullen.
And models are one in a million lookers even before they had babies. My mother was a model and lost her baby weight in a month.
Louis Winthorpe III | April 19, 2011 at 1:00 pm
same thing happened to me with Jessica Alba, my fantasy woman pops a kid out and now when i see her , meh
Sugar | April 19, 2011 at 1:09 pm
Miranda looks better than ever. I love her.
Josh | April 19, 2011 at 1:23 pm
wow, i have to speak up here, I odnt know why so many men think child birth wrecks a vagina…(its far better than having a gross c section scar and belly overhang to go with it) my wife has had 2 children and I swear several weeks after each kid, her vagina was super fricken tight my dick was sore for hours afterwards…i think the doctor might have put in a few extra stitches, i like you losers, thought birth would ruin her and make her not as tight, well i was wrong, way wrong, my dick wouldnt even go in at first, it was that tight, its like the doing the ultimate kegal i guess, the bagina is getting a major workout while having a baby and i shit you not, my wife is the tightest she has ever been, yes even before we had our kids…i would rather her have a natural birth than get stuck with a c section, i have seen the after math of those things and its just not pretty, say buh bye to the belly.
Sugar | April 19, 2011 at 4:41 pm
Most of the “men” who post here are virgins.
minx | April 20, 2011 at 1:02 am
HAHAHAHAHA good one
(@Sugar)
Doc Schweinstrudel | April 20, 2011 at 5:31 am
Josh, thank you so much for this comment. That was very very encouraging xxx
Mandy | April 19, 2011 at 1:28 pm
@ CUPCAKE…actually you are wrong, i bet you are super fat and have a gross belly….i have had 2 kids, and i look damn good, My stomach is flat and toned, so are my legs and arms…i never let myself go when i was pregnant and i ate all the right foods, i didnt eat like a starving pig, plus im tall, so im just lucky i guess…REAL WORLD WOMEN…actually do get like this, well the ones who dont eat like pigs, just sayin.
Deacon Jones | April 19, 2011 at 5:16 pm
“GIRL FIGHT! GIRL FIGHT! GIRL FIGHT! ”
(braces body against homeroom door so teacher can’t break up fight in hallway)
Mandy is a fat whore | April 19, 2011 at 6:22 pm
Bullshit, Mandy. Only the fattest of all fat bitches would call out another chick for being fat.
I bet you don’t have any kids, who would fuck you? You are nothing but an attention starved hog trying to get any scrap of affection from men by pretending to be hot in the comments of a blog. I bet you are 5’2 and 240 … go back to the feeding troth from whence you came, you fat fucking sow.
minx | April 20, 2011 at 1:05 am
well that was a pretty random bitch attack. moving on.
dr.jimmy | April 19, 2011 at 1:43 pm
she looks great, especially that her belly was really big for single child pregnancy, I think that she must’ve been taking a really professional care for her skin.
I’d love if those supermodel mom would share their secrets with the world. There was such a rumour of a “Victoria’s Secret C-Section” – a C-section performed as early as possible to keep a child alive, followed by liposuction and a tummy tuck. It’s been a most ridicule and stupid thing that spawned from a mind of all fat cows, sorry, “real women” and “caring mothers”. It would bring an extreme risk to both mother and child, not to mention that the one who’d believe that sh*t , knows nothing about cosmetic surgery and so on. But the most important thing is, that I truly believe that those supermodels really love their chlidren and wouldn’t have done them no harm.
SWG | April 19, 2011 at 1:56 pm
So much hate. And this all started because someone posted pictures of a pretty lady…
RL | April 19, 2011 at 6:01 pm
Second that!
rufus | April 19, 2011 at 1:57 pm
@cupcake.. so you’re hot eh? Pictures or GTFO
Mandy | April 19, 2011 at 2:14 pm
If you keep yourself well fed and dont gorge on crap like fast food and sugary junk, and are in a good weight before you get pregnant, you CAN maintain a great and sexy body afterwards..sorry, she does not look like she had a c section, she had a real birth and i bet she is happy she never had to get cut open and her stomach muscles ruined for life…i know lots of other women who had c sections and their bellies look like shit now, they will never be able to wear a bikini thats for sure, she looks normal to me,…THIS IS HOW REAL WORLD WOMEN should look, not like the fat overweight midgets who let themselves go because they were “eating for two” god never inteded for our bodies to become a human trash can, take care of it and prosper.
minx | April 20, 2011 at 1:12 am
ok you sound a little unstable, so I probably shouldn’t argue with stupid.
but im bored, so i will.
first of all, how old are you? you sound like one of those 16 and pregnant losers.
second of all, “midgets”? please do tell, how can anyone control their height? (and no, im not short. since we’re all bragging about our appearance here, I’m 5’10″)
lastly, “THIS IS HOW REAL WORLD WOMEN should look”? are you on crack? this is a supermodel who gets paid millions just for looking like that.
The Everlasting Know-it-all | April 19, 2011 at 2:22 pm
This girl is more beautiful than ever. And no, kids do not wreck a vagina. As long as it hits both sides, it’s all good if you have the least bit of competence. Hell, it’s been my experience that it just keeps getting better and better.
Geez, there are some friggin losers on here! Stop talking trash! You KNOW you’d hit it!
Mcroughin | April 19, 2011 at 2:26 pm
If any and every woman had a contract with Victoria’s secrets they’ll get in shape within days of deliveries. All of them want to get paid. They want to see incentives…Well, except Kristy Alley
cupcake | April 19, 2011 at 2:43 pm
Word. My sentiments EXACTLY.
That Bastard Tony | April 19, 2011 at 2:40 pm
To Cupcake,
Don’t feed the trolls. It isn’t worth it. It is how hurricanes start.
cupcake | April 19, 2011 at 2:48 pm
Thanks Tony- It is a valuable lesson I have a difficult time learning.
xoxo
Willie Dixon | April 19, 2011 at 3:20 pm
Shitticanes.
RL | April 19, 2011 at 6:03 pm
Second THIS ALSO! WTF..
Deryn | April 19, 2011 at 3:20 pm
Not so surprising — isn’t she way into yoga? Google “miranda kerr yoga” and you get all sorts of interestingly bendy images.
Life Serial | April 19, 2011 at 3:26 pm
Not one stretch mark? What did she give birth to, a rolled up tube sock?
dr.jimmy | April 19, 2011 at 5:37 pm
How many celebrities you’ve seen with stretchmarks? I’ve seen three: JLo (twins at 40, sorry), Julia Roberts (the laziest and less caring of her looks celebrity) and Cindy Crawford on only one photo (strangely she doesn’t have them on any other bikini photos both before and after that one). Even Britney and Cristina with their weight problems don’t have an inch of a stretchmark.
Stretch marks are at least partially able to be prevented from if you are quite young, have elastic skin, if you take care of it profesionally, if you do not gain too much weight during pregnancy etc.
Even if there are some not really major stretch marks they are still reduceable, with laser treatments (type scar laser therapy or laser for stretch marks).
I think that in years to come people’s wealth will be much more shown by the way their bodies look than their clothes etc. The richer will be fit, sexy and cared, and the “common (wo)men” would be stretchmarked, flab and “cellulited”.
Girl | April 20, 2011 at 2:52 pm
Umm….. not everyone gets stretchmarks! It’s a genetic thing. I never got stretchmarks being pregnant- or at any other time in my life. Also, my body went back really fast after giving brith because I kept in excellent shape all through my pregnancy. Other, ahem, “areas” went back as well. If you are healthy and are blessed with a bit of good genes then pregnancy does NOT ruin every woman’s body!!! Our bodies were made to do this, and recover after. Only if your body was in bad shape before getting pregnant would pregnancy “ruin” you. But for the rest of us- it can actually improve your body in many ways! It is possible to have no excess skin or stretchmarks- our skin was made to stretch during pregnancy, and also made to go back after pregnancy.
RL | April 19, 2011 at 6:05 pm
ehhh needs more bang.. typical
Mandy | April 19, 2011 at 6:16 pm
I never got stretch marks, not every woman gets them you know…some are just genetically lucky, yes for real, 2 kids later and a clean unmarked stomach and no stretch marks anywhere…why do people think that having a baby gives you stretchies???
Mandy is a fat whore | April 19, 2011 at 6:24 pm
You are a fat, lying bitch. I bet you have to hire a crane to pull you off of the couch.
minx | April 20, 2011 at 1:16 am
tell us some more about how pretty you are
baldmanpuke | April 19, 2011 at 8:57 pm
She just put the F in MILF.
Krissy | April 19, 2011 at 8:59 pm
She didn’t put on too much weight during her pregnancy, so it probably wasn’t that hard for her to work it off. She stayed fit and didn’t gorge on food, which is something to be admired. I think she’s looking damn good. Besides, I’m sure that having Heidi, Alessandra, and Adrianna all get into tip top shape for VS right after their babies made her want to make sure she wasn’t the only one who didn’t get back to being skinny quickly.
the captain | April 19, 2011 at 10:46 pm
so it still can be done, you girls.
……….EVEN FOR AMERICANS!!
minx | April 20, 2011 at 1:17 am
she’s Australian you retard
anon | April 20, 2011 at 2:52 am
LOL
Doc Schweinstrudel | April 20, 2011 at 5:23 am
Couple of points here:
- she is rather tall so there is more place to store baby in her, comparing to an average woman whose belly has to grow horizontally and therefore having stretchmarks. So the way that she looks now comparing to an average woman I would write off to being tall.
-you HAVE to eat healthy when you are pregnant and there are only *a few* food options you are allowed. And twice as little when you breastfeed because baby would react to almost anything with allergia.
People gain weight because that’s the way most of them react to stress.
How fucking cruel and inconsiderate and quick you are to judge others with extra weight, I guess mostly because you are not happy with the way you look yourselves (even if it’s just something in your mind) and project it on others.
I am not overweight but I have an icredible appetite. It’s just way some people are and the only way I can barely stay in shape is by swimming. And when I do go to a swimming pool and see what other women look like unclothed – that’s not always a pretty sight. These type of women (VS) only look good in the pictures and when properly clothed in real life. Miranda Kerr is HIGHLY UNDERWEIGHT Because in real life once they (the model types) undress
they look like praying mantis with bones sticking out everywhere and huge sasquach feet.
I send my hugs to all women who struggle with weight hang on, girls – check out Marianne Williamson’s books and radio programs
dr.jimmy | April 20, 2011 at 6:11 am
I’d certainly prefer “praying mantis with bones sticking out everywhere and huge sasquach feet” than stretchmarks, cellulite and body fat of any kind. As they say to each their own.
Doc Schweinstrudel | April 20, 2011 at 7:19 am
To each their own but …Clearly you have never seen a model like that in real life naked.
a pornstar | April 20, 2011 at 11:21 am
Naturally, the men commenting on this site, look like Greek gods, and have wallets the size of Donald Trump’s ego.
The only thing I want coming out of my vagina, is a penis, preferably big.
Since having kids is a crap shoot, you never know what you
are going to get,-use condoms have sex, with wealthy men, rinse.repeat.
Monogamy is a scam, but shoes are forever.
Mandy | April 20, 2011 at 3:31 pm
MINX…ACTUALLY IM FIVE TEN TOO BITCH AND IM 125 POUNDS AFTER 2 KIDS…so shut the fuck up…if you eat well and dont treat yourself like a garbage can and eat junk..you can usually maintain a great body if you had one to start out with,lol…loser.
mane | April 20, 2011 at 3:39 pm
4 me its just a cute face… body = 6/10…
anyway…fuckeable
happy new years | April 20, 2011 at 7:59 pm
to all the men on here talking about wrecked vaginas, i as a girl, totally agree. Those wrecked vaginas that were caused by u doucheschnozzles entering this world should never have been wrecked. Look what happened. U fools learned to log on online and display sheer idiocy. Anytime a woman says something all the idiot troll men on this site dont agree with, they start trolling, hard. With that amount of trolling I doubt some of you have girlfriends as u claim. That plastic doll that cant run away or talk does not qualify as a girlfriend. But then again women will date stupid fools. I get it. This is a gossip/celebrity bashing site. The Fish covers this angle well. But the rest of you on this site I could do without.
sweet princess | April 20, 2011 at 10:51 pm
im sure the men commenting on this site are a real fucking catch. . . i can picture it now: passing judgment on miranda kerr while they sit in their dark basement with their fat guts, balding hairlines, bad clothing taste, and little dicks.
let’s face it: you would shit your pants if you were within a 1 mile radius of this woman.
Doc Schweinstrudel | April 21, 2011 at 4:45 am
The truth is: when such women are in bikini in reality – those very men who scream here how they’ll bone them look the other way, preferably on normal women they claim to hate. I have observed this times and times again.
Because truth is: when a woman is tall even if she is ideal weight she’d still look big, even if she has a zero fat on her and the truth is: men here like this girl and find her attractive because IN THE PICTURES she gives out vibes of a young little girl. I mean lolita type fragile teenage girl whom you’d just want to hold and tease. BUT IN REALITY she stands up and from the back she could be mistaken for the man, she walks and it’s not a soft cat’s pace, in reality her feet are huge, her hands are incredibly long and her bones are protruding from everywhere and in reality all those men suddenly lose their sex napalms once they see them real closeup naked/in bikinis.
I personally even in the pictures don’t find her that attractive because her eyes are set too wide apart and I don’t find Orlando Bloom attractive either.
dramkit | April 21, 2011 at 2:58 pm
True, Miranda’s just as ‘meh’ as she was before the baby. There’s just something so unappealing about her waist to hip ratio that it puts me off completely. And the tits are off too, and the baby tighs, like she’s been put together from random body parts – separately attractive, all together meh.
I’d sooner do hobo Lindsay. *internetz explode*
Dr. FeelGood | April 23, 2011 at 1:10 am
I’d put a baby up in that.