Because a woman’s body is her husband’s property – After two years of bringing in sweet Victoria’s Secret checks, of course. – here’s the godless Jezebel Miranda Kerr flaunting her carnal treasures in Australia so that men may become filled with lust and spill their seed upon the ground thus fertilizing Satan’s subterranean army which shall usher forth an unholy era where women can vote, enter into legal contracts and make almost as much money as men. May God have mercy on our souls.
Photos: Bauer-Griffin
Can I play too?
Just how much does she pay that nanny to pick her bathing suit out of her ass crack because I’d do it for free.
Not to be mean or anything, but that is one fat fuck of a baby
that fat baby is still freaking me out
That fucking kid is half the size of that woman. Note to Jesus: Make smaller babies.
He’s been breast fed! With the good stuff!
It’s not a poolside champagne jam without a nude midget.
Two words for Orlando: Doo! Fus! Oh, and nice moobs, btw!
It’s not a full-fledged poolside champagne jam without a nude midget being tossed.
*looking at the caption*
Okay, I know people like to call Orlando Bloom effeminate, but this is ridiculous. Or are you saying he’s the baby?
Breaking: Miranda Kerr Marionette, Not Human
the fuck?
Whoa that baby is CHUNKY.
It’s like the Michelin man…
HA!!!!
I’m not at all comfortable with her position or the kid’s naked penis in front of her face.
I could just imagine banging that from the back while she is on all fours.
Come Orlando, it’s time to breast feed the baby.
Looks like she’s getting ready to play “Rodeo”. If you’re not familiar with the rules, here goes:
When plowing a woman doggie-style, whisper in her ear “Your sister likes it like this, too” and try to hang on for 8 seconds.
Somebody needs to start a petition to get this included in the Calgary Stampede!!!
“YeeHawwww!”
– Jesus
Miranda Kerr lets her hot, young, blonde nanny walk around in a bikini because:
a) she more or less has Orlando Bloom’s balls in a jar, so nothing untoward could possibly happen
b) she is completely blind to the likelihood that the nanny will end up screwing Orlando and break up their marriage, like so many nannies-to-the-stars have done before her
c) she, Orlando, and the nanny regularly engage in three-ways, so it’s all good
d) after years at Victoria’s Secret, she is no longer able to distinguish between bikinis and regular clothing (just like lingerie is clothing, or so the devil tells her)
If you’re not sure, always go with ‘C’.
Satan loves you.
Crack is a hell of a drug.
See what i did there ?
I’m not proud of it.
That is some in-demand pu$$y right there
imagine a grenade going off right there – awesome
That seriously is the cutest baby on the planet at the moment.
Luckiest.
That is one sweet ass. I could do without the two skanks though.
I LOVE FAT BABIES!
LOL
I think Victoria’s real secret is how they all get rid of stretch marks!
Nanny got a tank ass
“Um, you know, when you said I could hang out with you and all your hot model girlfriends, I didn’t think it would be me as the nanny.”
“Jesus Christ girls, someone take him offa me, I can’t hold him up one second longer! Sheesh, this is one fat fuck of a baby!”
Quite a scene there, having the elf prince serve as waiter/poolboy. Nice.
Does McDonald’s make Happy Meals for toddlers now?
god forbid she watch her own chunky baby while laying around with her fug friends getiing shitfaced, i dont see her picking the nannies wedgie, wheres the love?
there’s an H&R Block ad next to this pic so I can only conclude they support CP
“I’LL SAVE YOU LADIES FROM THE MICHELIN BABY!!!”
If Da Vinci were alive today, this would be his Virgin and Child.
This picture pretty much sums up what is left of Orlando Blooms career.
Orlando just spotted the paps and the chick in purple is giving them the finger.
sho enuf! lol
I should have been a nanny.
Pull the string and I talk.
How do I get that job?
Get that little pebble out of there!
pssssst: JESUS DIDNT FIT THE BIKINI ANYWAY!!
It grosses me out when people carry babies around naked. Those things are loaded shit bombs.
Her arms look like they belong to a 10 year old and where Photoshopped on.
Surprisingly enough, that baby may have more cellulite than Oprah’s double chin.
If she truly loves Jesus, she’ll get a tattoo of him prominently displayed on her body. Right, Beebs???
I guess both of their boobs got bigger during the pregnancy..
formula fed baby is way tooo FAT!