Minnie Driver births her illegitimate son

Minnie Driver gave birth to baby boy Henry Story Driver on Friday, according to People:

The baby was born Friday in Los Angeles and weighed 9 lbs., 12 oz., rep Jessica Kolstad says.

Minnie Driver still hasn’t revealed the baby’s father which means it’s definitely Criss Angel. Otherwise, why all the secrecy? That said, I hope to God she never tells little Henry who his real father is, and it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to come up with a cover story. Something a little less embarrassing but with a touch of romance. I’m thinking: “Date-raped by Carrot Top.” Too fairy tale-ish? You’re right.