Minnie Driver births her illegitimate son

September 8th, 2008 // 27 Comments

Minnie Driver gave birth to baby boy Henry Story Driver on Friday, according to People:

The baby was born Friday in Los Angeles and weighed 9 lbs., 12 oz., rep Jessica Kolstad says.

Minnie Driver still hasn’t revealed the baby’s father which means it’s definitely Criss Angel. Otherwise, why all the secrecy? That said, I hope to God she never tells little Henry who his real father is, and it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to come up with a cover story. Something a little less embarrassing but with a touch of romance. I’m thinking: “Date-raped by Carrot Top.” Too fairy tale-ish? You’re right.


  1. Govan


  2. whitebear

    Second!! or first depending on where you start looking, this woman’s preganancy has put me off ever having babies, you remember that bikini shot? i wish i didn’t

  3. Hitler



  4. JJ

    All of these Hollywood couples who don’t get married and have kids should pay higher taxes to fund the social services that these screwed up kids are going to need.

  5. justtheobvious

    Somebody put their dick in that? Oh god!

  6. Alex Basuka

    #5 You fucking commie-assed Obama voter! It’s illegal immigrants (probably such as yourself) who suck all the money out. Anyway, I’m the father although I don’t know how anal sex got her pregnant. Go figure! WHAT’S UP MAX?

  7. havoc

    Who the hell cares?

    Bikini shots please….


  8. Deacon Jones

    FISH, is that a pic of one of the many feminists that visit this site?

  9. WreckRecovery

    She should name it Pyle, that would be hilarious!

  10. WTB

    “Story Driver”? Are you kidding me?

    Has she projected what she wishes her film characters were on her helpless newborn child’s name?

  11. i cant imagine how much she’s bene stretched out if that kids head and especially jaw is like her mom’s. heaven forbid if she and jay leno ever have a kid.. he’d look like Quagmire from The Family Guy.

  12. Juggernaut

    Hey, at least she only gave the kid a fucked-up middle name. He can choose to not tell most people what it is.

  13. poor vajayjay

    9 lbs 12 oz! that’s one big fucking baby.

  14. PEZpusher

    I used to think this chick was semi cute in the mid 90′s. Now… ugh.

  15. Burungi

    Fucking unwed sinning mothers and their illegitimate, bastard kids. Oh wait, that was only wrong BEFORE McCain picked his white trash VP. Now it’s A-Okay!!!

  16. obama jugeared bastard

    A white trash slut mama also birthed that bastard mongrel BaCrack Obama

  17. Huh. Minnie Driver had a kid. Whatever.


    I’m starting a crusade against Uggs boots. They’re hideous. All they say to me is, “I’m too lazy to tie my sneakers and my feet stink.” FUCK UGGS!! BURN THEM ALL!!

  18. JodieTart

    Turkey baster

  19. friendlystoner

    i watched good will hunting the other day (great film) and she looked hot in that. what the hell happened?

  20. EuroNeckPain

    I don’ know who this woman is but she is not pretty at all and she is very badly dressed. These boots are totally ridiculous.
    By the way, I am fed up with hollywood “fashion”: it is about picking any dumb piece of clothing at random, preferably something that doesn’t match the rest either in color or in style, and wearing it and looking like garbage.

  21. Beautrix

    The woman is almost 40 and wanted a baby! Why should she have to rush to get married and find the perfect guy before menopause? Women are liberated now and have the FREEDOM to have a child or not to. I think illegitimate is the wrong word for a baby that is very wanted.

  22. blah

    “date raped by carrot top” …oh, too funny fish. The funny thing is, I never noticed, but Minnie herself has a resemblance to carrot top (aka; freckled & super ugly). But I will say that she’s a decent actresses and used to have a great figure back in the 90′s. Anyways, maybe since she was getting old & running out of time to have a baby, she just went to a sperm bank and thats what all the secrecy about the baby’s father is for; Maybe she doesn’t even really know who he is beyond donor #55431or something.

  23. Trover

    After watching Mindfreak one time, I realized that Criss Angel is either the WORST illusionist in the world, or he thinks that his average viewer is as stupid as a bad of door knobs. Or both.

    I voted for both.

  24. sameshitdifferentyear

    #6 nothing more true ever spoken
    #10 definitely, or maybe Reckless, or Courteous?
    #22 but what you said, is exactly what the word illegitimate means…..

  25. Liz

    Holy shit! 9 lbs. 12 oz!!! Ain’t no way that cooter is ever gonna be the same. Ouch. Hope she had a c-section or else she’s gonna be sitting on an inflatable donut for about two weeks. Eeew.

  26. joey joejoe

    holy fucking shit, that’s some new kind of ugly.

    my penis has gone on strike till this story goes away.

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