Minka Kelly is Single

August 26th, 2011 // 74 Comments

If you hate Derek Jeter, now’s your chance to have two boners for the price of the one. A “boner salad” if we’re using baseball terms. JustJared reports:

Derek Jeter and Minka Kelly have called it quits after three years together, JustJared.com can confirm.
“The split was amicable,” sources exclusively tell JJ of the 37-year-old Yankees superstar and 31-year-old actress. “But they remain friends. They still really care for each other.”

Now’s the part where I’m supposed to make a joke about how I’m going to sex up Minka Kelly and nurse her back to health with nothing but my tender sex nursing her into a sexual land of emotional healing and sex waterfalls, but I think the important thing to focus on before I do all that in real life is just what kind of ass Derek Jeter is pulling in that makes him toss Minka Kelly aside like a used tissue. Mostly because I’m confident that ass belongs to a space alien whose physical beauty defies human comprehension. “You know, earth women are great and all, but sometimes you just want a woman whose vagina is a wormhole into a distant galaxy. Call me old-fashioned.”

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Flynet


  1. Dave Mustaine

    She’s cute. Ice cream cone jaw and all.

  2. Dave Mustaine

    I meant chin

  3. Minka Kelly Single
    Commented on this photo:

    This is the moment Minka realized that Leighton Meester was casted in “The Roomate” because people think she looks like her.

  4. Minka Kelly Single
    Commented on this photo:


  5. DogBoy

    She is mind-bogglingly beautiful. Dat ass in pic #5 is in a word.. epic.
    Oh and …. F the Yankees, and F Jeter.

  6. Minka Kelly Single
    The Most Interesting
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m not falling for the cavity search thing again!”

  7. Minka Kelly Single
    Commented on this photo:


  8. Minka Kelly Single
    Commented on this photo:

    Two weeks ago this picture was taken at LAX and now it’s in Miami. Magic!

  9. Minka got a lot out from dating a high profiler like Jeter
    A “Sexiest Woman Alive” award and herpes.
    Her stock is going down. 2 to 1 she joins the John Mayer rebound train.

  10. She’s single because she got so fat.

  11. Minka Kelly Single
    Commented on this photo:

    Ohhhh…Rachael Taylor (the blonde). More of her, please.

    • MIKE

      She doesn’t even COMPARE to Minka. Brunettes just have this sex appeal, mysteriousness, and femininity that blondes don’t. BRUNETTES FTW.

  12. Keith

    No one wants A-Rod’s sloppy seconds. Face it guys, she’d look at you and wonder where your World Series rings and MVP trophies are. She’ll be comparing every dude to A-Rod for the rest of her life. Just like Clooney’s ex. If she can’t move up from there, she be eternally disappointed.

  13. Ksurfiws

    I have managed to bump into Jeter pretty much every year he has come to Tampa for Spring Training with the Yankees. Minka Kelly is Stupid Crazy Hot.
    And I have seen him with Hotter. Almost impossible to comprehend. The kind of Hot where you don’t even realize “oh, she’s with Derek Jeter”
    What a dooosh.

    All that said though, New York Yankmees SUCK ASS!

  14. herpes kelly

    herpes train about toi embark…

  15. Large Pun

    I hear Jeter hit it for the cycle… Or something about her menstrual cycle.

  16. Minka Kelly Single
    Commented on this photo:

    It must be nice to have such a great ass that you like feeling it yourself.

  17. Deacon Jones

    I bet Jeter grows his hair out, starts getting really shredded in the gym, and then him and A-Rod start fucking each other.

    It’s the only possible next step.

    And the Yankees fucking suck. Go Phils.

  18. j-sin

    Jeter always upgrades after he dumps a hottie. Remember his past conquests, Jessica Alba, Jordana Brewster, Mariah Carey? Nope? Neither does he.

    • Jillia

      “what kind of ass Derek Jeter is pulling in that makes him toss Minka Kelly aside like a used tissue.”

      Ummm, WTF? Who’s to say she wasn’t tired of dating the Situation’s older looking cousin??

  19. its a rough,rough,rough,rough world

    After 3 years Derrick realized he was getting into a contract based only to make Yankee saps that are living vicariously through him happy. I agree JD beauty is just not enough, welcome back.

  20. Minka Kelly Single
    little turtle head
    Commented on this photo:

    perfect ass!!!!!!!!!!!

  21. Giggles

    Huh? How many chicks is Derek Jeter going to dump before everyone realizes he is old and/or gay?

    • EmmaWatson's Vagina

      you know years ago I heard about him being gay. but that’s crazy. The next thing you will tell me is the late Carry Grant is gay

    • Beefarino

      I think since he is getting older he feels he needs to have a beard with some silver in it. Look for him to date Helen Mirren.

  22. Minka Kelly Single
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m just not sure that Jeter smell is going to wash out.

  23. Fletch

    She’s good looking but I don’t see what’s so special about her butt; looks just like Pippa’s did in that bridesmaids gown.

  24. so that is what Nina Dobrev’s mother looks like.

  25. right

    Proves once a for all jeter is gay. He also looks like “the situations” older creepier brother.

  26. forrest gump

    my stephmother too.

  27. Venom

    Badass woman.

  28. He seems entirely too generic for someone as beautiful as her. Plus doesn’t he have dick mumps? What the fuck.

  29. Minka Kelly Single
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does she always do that when I show her my pee pee?

  30. Armando

    I can be single for your rebound at any moment you call Minka

  31. Billie Joyner

    Tips from Minka Kelly filmed with Windows Phone: http://ilikethis.t15.org/?p=15 So Funny!!!

  32. Angus

    Meh…saw this coming. Chick doesn’t do shit for 2 or 3 years suddenly gets a job putting her back on Hollywood’s radar and “suddenly” the relationship goes downhill.

    Jada Pickett is another example.

  33. hmmmm

    She’s gorgeous. In my next life I wanna look like her.

  34. JJ

    Single and ready to Minka

  35. Mia

    I understand that you were probably typing with only one hand, Fish, but I think you might have forgotten a few draft lines in the post.

  36. swearin

    Skarsgard is still on the East Coast, yeah? We need to get these two in the sack together so they can create our beautiful, ultimate mixed-race overlords.

  37. dontkillthemessenger

    Does this mean Derek Jeter will be banging Blake Lively next week?

  38. mfb


  39. Shaquile Jefferson

    Would like to spill my seed in her mouth and in her vagina a few times – maybe 200 or so . If Jeter had her I’ll bet she’d be tight for me !

  40. erin

    she is drop dead gorgeous

  41. Chendra

    That’s an intelleingt answer to a difficult question xxx

  42. Minka Kelly Single
    Commented on this photo:

    Another one bites the dust. Wonder if they ordered valtrex for two, instead of dessert. Apparently there are no nice girls left. They are all turning into KTrash. Cheap whores.

  43. Minka Kelly Single
    Commented on this photo:

    well the nice ones are usually ugly and annoying with their christian crap

  44. Minka Kelly Single
    Commented on this photo:

    there’s yer Charlie’s Angles

  45. Minka Kelly Single
    Commented on this photo:

    This is not a suprise to me. I suspect that a great many actresses have sex tapes on the ready to have “stolen” when they need a quick bit of publicity without doing any work.

    As hot as Minka is I would prefer an Aimee Teegarden sex tape. She is delicious.

  46. Minka Kelly Single
    Commented on this photo:

    A Minka sex tape would to a long way towards getting Octomom’s horrorshow out of my head.

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