Derek Jeter and Minka Kelly have called it quits after three years together, JustJared.com can confirm.
“The split was amicable,” sources exclusively tell JJ of the 37-year-old Yankees superstar and 31-year-old actress. “But they remain friends. They still really care for each other.”
Now’s the part where I’m supposed to make a joke about how I’m going to sex up Minka Kelly and nurse her back to health with nothing but my tender sex nursing her into a sexual land of emotional healing and sex waterfalls, but I think the important thing to focus on before I do all that in real life is just what kind of ass Derek Jeter is pulling in that makes him toss Minka Kelly aside like a used tissue. Mostly because I’m confident that ass belongs to a space alien whose physical beauty defies human comprehension. “You know, earth women are great and all, but sometimes you just want a woman whose vagina is a wormhole into a distant galaxy. Call me old-fashioned.”