If you hate Derek Jeter, now’s your chance to have two boners for the price of the one. A “boner salad” if we’re using baseball terms. JustJared reports:
Derek Jeter and Minka Kelly have called it quits after three years together, JustJared.com can confirm.
“The split was amicable,” sources exclusively tell JJ of the 37-year-old Yankees superstar and 31-year-old actress. “But they remain friends. They still really care for each other.”
Now’s the part where I’m supposed to make a joke about how I’m going to sex up Minka Kelly and nurse her back to health with nothing but my tender sex nursing her into a sexual land of emotional healing and sex waterfalls, but I think the important thing to focus on before I do all that in real life is just what kind of ass Derek Jeter is pulling in that makes him toss Minka Kelly aside like a used tissue. Mostly because I’m confident that ass belongs to a space alien whose physical beauty defies human comprehension. “You know, earth women are great and all, but sometimes you just want a woman whose vagina is a wormhole into a distant galaxy. Call me old-fashioned.”
Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Flynet
She’s cute. Ice cream cone jaw and all.
I meant chin
What the hell does ice cream cone chin mean??????
It doesn’t mean anything, he’s just another social reject attempting to criticize a caliber of women he can only dream of.
harsh, he was just admiring her chin. daaaang.
This is the moment Minka realized that Leighton Meester was casted in “The Roomate” because people think she looks like her.
Epic.
She is mind-bogglingly beautiful. Dat ass in pic #5 is in a word.. epic.
Oh and …. F the Yankees, and F Jeter.
27 World Series, baby! What has your team done??
yanks had three grand slams in one game last nite :D only time it’s ever been done in over 100 of majors. f-u, yankees RULE!!
make that 100 YEARS of majors..
You can fart and get a double at Yankee Stadium. The only surprise is that it took so long at the homer happy stadium.
Are we still counting World Series form last century? Oh, yeah, Derek Jeter is gay, why do you think he had a falling out with ARod?
“I’m not falling for the cavity search thing again!”
Yummm….
Two weeks ago this picture was taken at LAX and now it’s in Miami. Magic!
(At least, that’s where you said it was two weeks ago.)
Minka got a lot out from dating a high profiler like Jeter
A “Sexiest Woman Alive” award and herpes.
Her stock is going down. 2 to 1 she joins the John Mayer rebound train.
So, nobody thinks he is gay and she was just doing a 3 year beard deal?
DJ’s a Hall of Fame’r pussy hound – nothing gay about him.
She’s single because she got so fat.
nah her ass is PERFECT
OK, I’ll give you that.
This is an important lesson for the ladies – let yourself go like Minka has, and you’re toast. If you stop paying attention to your weight, you will be alone and ignored by the entire male population, except for the “chubby chaser” subset that will be drawn to you with their fat mommy complexes.
Get fat and look like Minka? Yeeeeeah, bring on the klondike bars!
Ohhhh…Rachael Taylor (the blonde). More of her, please.
She doesn’t even COMPARE to Minka. Brunettes just have this sex appeal, mysteriousness, and femininity that blondes don’t. BRUNETTES FTW.
No one wants A-Rod’s sloppy seconds. Face it guys, she’d look at you and wonder where your World Series rings and MVP trophies are. She’ll be comparing every dude to A-Rod for the rest of her life. Just like Clooney’s ex. If she can’t move up from there, she be eternally disappointed.
Plus, the herp factor . . .
http://media.ebaumsworld.com/mediaFiles/picture/569251/80507920.jpg
She was dating Derek Jeter genius.
I have managed to bump into Jeter pretty much every year he has come to Tampa for Spring Training with the Yankees. Minka Kelly is Stupid Crazy Hot.
And I have seen him with Hotter. Almost impossible to comprehend. The kind of Hot where you don’t even realize “oh, she’s with Derek Jeter”
What a dooosh.
All that said though, New York Yankmees SUCK ASS!
“I have managed to bump into Jeter pretty much every year” = “I am Derek Jeter’s stalker”
+1
herpes train about toi embark…
I hear Jeter hit it for the cycle… Or something about her menstrual cycle.
It must be nice to have such a great ass that you like feeling it yourself.
Wish I could feel it for her!! I could do it 24/7
I bet Jeter grows his hair out, starts getting really shredded in the gym, and then him and A-Rod start fucking each other.
It’s the only possible next step.
And the Yankees fucking suck. Go Phils.
Yayyyy go Phils!!!
Jeter always upgrades after he dumps a hottie. Remember his past conquests, Jessica Alba, Jordana Brewster, Mariah Carey? Nope? Neither does he.
“what kind of ass Derek Jeter is pulling in that makes him toss Minka Kelly aside like a used tissue.”
Ummm, WTF? Who’s to say she wasn’t tired of dating the Situation’s older looking cousin??
After 3 years Derrick realized he was getting into a contract based only to make Yankee saps that are living vicariously through him happy. I agree JD beauty is just not enough, welcome back.
perfect ass!!!!!!!!!!!
Huh? How many chicks is Derek Jeter going to dump before everyone realizes he is old and/or gay?
you know years ago I heard about him being gay. but that’s crazy. The next thing you will tell me is the late Carry Grant is gay
I think since he is getting older he feels he needs to have a beard with some silver in it. Look for him to date Helen Mirren.
I’m just not sure that Jeter smell is going to wash out.
She’s good looking but I don’t see what’s so special about her butt; looks just like Pippa’s did in that bridesmaids gown.
so that is what Nina Dobrev’s mother looks like.
Proves once a for all jeter is gay. He also looks like “the situations” older creepier brother.
my stephmother too.
MY FATHER DIED.
Badass woman.
He seems entirely too generic for someone as beautiful as her. Plus doesn’t he have dick mumps? What the fuck.
Yeah but “now” so does she.
To paraphrase a George Carlin line, “You know they say blondes have more fun. Unfortunately, they also have more VD” or in this case, brunette and Herpes.
Hahah… excellent Carlinism :)
And sadly appropriate.
Why does she always do that when I show her my pee pee?
I can be single for your rebound at any moment you call Minka
Tips from Minka Kelly filmed with Windows Phone: http://ilikethis.t15.org/?p=15 So Funny!!!
Meh…saw this coming. Chick doesn’t do shit for 2 or 3 years suddenly gets a job putting her back on Hollywood’s radar and “suddenly” the relationship goes downhill.
Jada Pickett is another example.
She’s gorgeous. In my next life I wanna look like her.
Single and ready to Minka
I understand that you were probably typing with only one hand, Fish, but I think you might have forgotten a few draft lines in the post.
Skarsgard is still on the East Coast, yeah? We need to get these two in the sack together so they can create our beautiful, ultimate mixed-race overlords.
Does this mean Derek Jeter will be banging Blake Lively next week?
downgrade.
AND YET STILL ….DEREK JETER WILL CONTINUE TO LEAD THE MOST PERFECT LIFE A MAN COULD EVER WANT……..
Would like to spill my seed in her mouth and in her vagina a few times – maybe 200 or so . If Jeter had her I’ll bet she’d be tight for me !
she is drop dead gorgeous
That’s an intelleingt answer to a difficult question xxx
Another one bites the dust. Wonder if they ordered valtrex for two, instead of dessert. Apparently there are no nice girls left. They are all turning into KTrash. Cheap whores.
well the nice ones are usually ugly and annoying with their christian crap
there’s yer Charlie’s Angles
This is not a suprise to me. I suspect that a great many actresses have sex tapes on the ready to have “stolen” when they need a quick bit of publicity without doing any work.
As hot as Minka is I would prefer an Aimee Teegarden sex tape. She is delicious.
A Minka sex tape would to a long way towards getting Octomom’s horrorshow out of my head.