Mini-Me’s love life is God’s punchline

January 5th, 2009 // 67 Comments

I don’t know about you guys, but it’s been way too long since one of Verne Troyer’s jilted ex-lovers has sold her story to News of the World. This time around it’s former Playmate Genevieve Gallen who married Mini-Me in 2004 after the two were introduced by Hugh Hefner at a New Year’s Eve party. Things went sour when Genevieve learned her knight in children’s pajamas has a drinking problem. (Read: One thimble of bourbon and the shit is on!):

On first going to Mini-Me’s “house”:
She felt like Alice in Wonderland when she first went back to Verne’s place . . . a SHED at the the end of his manager’s garden. “It was a little off-putting because everything was so small,” says Genevieve. “There was a miniature futon and a miniature refrigerator and bed. The light switches were all down at the level of my knee and the toilet was no bigger than a child’s potty.”

On realizing Mini-Me might have a bit of a drinking problem:
“One Valentine’s night, I tried to do something really special for him. I knew he liked the colour red, so I put on everything red, including red stockings, red garter belts, a red thong and patterned red shoes just how he liked them,” says Genevieve. He seemed really excited and jumped up on the coffee table as he ordered me into different poses. He took some pictures of me and I was ready for a really beautiful night but before we could make love he was so drunk he passed out wearing his socks and boxers.”

On getting accidentally locked out of the house after Mini-Me got trashed:
“The neighbours called the police and I convinced them to break the door open to let me in. But then they demanded to see Verne so I could prove it was my house. When I found him, he was face down clutching a pillow. I tried to wake him but it was impossible, so I had to pick him up still clutching the pillow and take him outside to present him to the police officers. They were shining the light on his head and Verne was mumbling, ‘What’s going on?” One of the police officers started laughing but the other one told him to stop. It was really embarrassing.”

Look, I don’t want to seem like I’m discriminating against little people here, but maybe the next time their guild meets inside a mushroom, they should let Verne know he’s not doing anybody any favors. Just sayin’.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. jazzmyn

    wow. anyone that has any negative thought towards this post. i am sorry for you brvause you will have your dog’s day. how sisgusting for you all to think such messed up thoughts towards another human being. he is a person, not an image, hr may represent a particular identity of a superficial classification but i am astounded that you are all just as supericaial as you title him as. i bet that you are all completely self concious and have issues with you own sel fto the point where it is entertaining for you to put down a face you dont even know

  2. Cartman

    Nasty little fucking animal… and that one guy was right! Why does this little bellybutton-fucker get to marry a frikkin Playboy bunny when normal guys have a hard time even meeting those chicks?

    Well, he will die alone and in a pool of his own vomit so that is some relief but life is just unfair! And even the Playboy bunny with the bellybutton full of jizz got the short end if you know what I mean.

  3. lemon

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  4. The Canadian Commentator!

    Your choice of photo for this article is amazing.. Two thumbs up!!! The one with the dog in particular is great!! I never seen Verne so happy before!!! ;)

  5. dontlooknow

    Obviously she didn’t marry him for his money, so what the hell is wrong with her? Did she have one too many electroshock treatments?

  6. Kelley

    This girl was NEVER a Playmate.

  7. EuropeanGirl

    I like circus! <3

    mini me can fuck girls hotter then yours, but prefer to make up with his doggie. Have a nice year!

  8. Yea - blah blah

    Well its all about math really….

    When your nose to nose his toes are in it
    When your toes to toes his nose is in it…

    ponder that one!

  9. Raff

    @52… Pool of his own vomit or just a widdle puddle… haha…

    She sold the story of their sex life. I think it’s time for him to sell those Valentine’s Day pictures she mentioned.

    And for all the pansies crying about his “condition”… piss off. If he didn’t get lucky with Mike Meyers he’d still be working in Willy Wonka’s factory or walking around with a drink tray on his head at cocktail parties. Now he has loads of money, can furnish his house with cheap children’s furniture, eats only Similac and Gerber smashed carrots.. What else is there to spend money on? Booze!

  10. Hugh G. Rection

    She dumped him because he has a drinking problem…not because he’s 2.5′ tall and his penis is no bigger than my pinkie toe…rrrrrrright.

  11. Ramona Putz

    “It was a little off-putting because everything was so small,” says Genevieve.
    She wasn’t just referring to the furniture.

  12. CHoltom

    Damn Verne, take the girl home to Centreville and dress her up in traditional Amish garb…She’d look GREAT in a buggy at the Sand Lake Party Store!

  13. jimmy

    hacete dar enano de mierda, veni agarrame la poronga y dejate de joder anda……..

  14. jimmy

    hacete dar enano de mierda, veni agarrame la poronga y dejate de joder anda……..

  15. Murf

    WHAT exactly is he doing to that dog? He’s smiling and she looks poochy suprised!!!

  16. The Rage

    is it just me, or does it look like he’s doin the dog in the last pic?

  17. His mental picture jumping on the table while he’s all in red underwear … omg, I spit coffee on your screen almost everyone.

    I can not imagine their “skills” What could possibly be away from the fact that its small and ugly. – Hey, maybe he does not use his penis at all … Perhaps with his entire upper body fucks. Now what will happen.

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