Mini-Me’s ex breaks the silence on making amateur midget porn: A woman’s journey

July 7th, 2008 // 140 Comments

Cashing in while the iron’s hot, Verne “Mini-Me” Troyer’s ex-girlfriend and sex tape co-star Ranae Shrider sat down for an interview with News of the World to openly discuss the couple’s sex life. I will never, ever in my entire life write anything as funny as the unintentional hilarity that comes out of Ranae’s mouth. This chick should do Vegas:

On sex in general with a midget:
“So I’d lie on the bed and Verne would crawl up my legs to have sex with me. And as he did it his feet would be tickling my knees! It wasn’t quite as passionate as sex with a normal-sized man but he did his best. He didn’t wear a condom. There was no point, they’re all too big. On the whole though, he wasn’t short of sexy skills and tried his hardest to make up in technique what he lacked in size.”

On their first time and the Mini-Me’s magical rebound skills:
“I had no complaints. But the whole thing was over in three minutes. It was strange having sex with someone who couldn’t reach to kiss me at the same time, except for my tummy that is! I was so relieved it was over. But minutes later Verne was ready to go again. That night we made love three times in 20 minutes, which most bigger men only dream about doing.”

On why midget’s prefer sex on dry land:
“I thought it would be fun to do it in the tub,” she said. “Sadly I almost killed him. While Verne was watching TV I ran the bath, emptied a bottle of bubbles in it and called him in. But the bubbles were so thick and high that once he climbed in he got lost under the water and I couldn’t see him.”

Mini-Me almost drowns trying to do his girlfriend in a bubble bath. Jesus. *hangs up keyboard* Sorry, guys, you just can’t follow something like that. I’ll be simultaneously laughing/crying/inhaling White-Out in the supply closet until the next post. Hold my calls.

UPDATE: I’M A PTERODACTYL! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH! P.S. We’re out of White-Out.

superficial

  1. ishi-san

    @ 36: psst: I don’t want to humiliate you, but “SIG” is written “SIEG” in german!

  2. ishi-san

    @ 42, 45 : oh sorry, I didn’t see your comments! :-)

  3. THis chick is alright looking, and I would be willing to watch/sell this video. It would be hysterical watching mini me go at it though.

  4. Lola

    What the Nazis did to the Jews/Gypsies/Polish/Homosexuals and some others worked for the Jews like USA’s 9/11; a free pass to massacre and abuse others.
    The most important thing here is how it’s perfectly okay to be racist against whites, blacks, hispanics and asians every time Britney, Kim Kardishan, Tila Tequila or JLo appear but with Jews it’s a horrible crime.

    Anyway, no matter what race or religion this skank is part of what she did wad disgusting, poor midget didn’t put a gun to her head for sex, she has a horse face anyway, can’t imagine it being that pleasant for him either.

  5. Toonkinstein

    LMAO….oh fuck…I love a good poodle and pony show with funny ass mini clowns…or am I hung over??

  6. ishi-san

    @ 104: let’s face it, Jews are the silent rulers of this world. (no judgement attached)

  7. ishi-san

    …..but does it really matter whether she is jewish or or?!?!?!!! Fact is, she has sex with that thing there!!!!!!!!!!

  8. naomi campbells cell phone

    @104 Who says it’s ok? If you think it isn’t right (and it isn’t) then have the balls to say so when it happens. If you do let it pass, is it because you secretly agree with it? From your 1st 2 sentences, sounds like you sort of do. Don’t fucking whine about it being all about the jews – If you want things to equalize do some objecting yourself and stop expecting others to carry the fucking load for you. It’s all down to you and what you personally choose to ignore and let slide.

  9. titanic

    #106 Mega-corporations are the silent rulers of the world, get with the program. When the Arabs run out of the last drop of oil, Israel will cease to have importance.

  10. titanic

    #106 Mega-corporations are the silent rulers of the world, get with the program. When the Arabs run out of the last drop of oil, Israel will cease to have importance.

  11. jane

    what a fucking cunt. i hope her head falls off and lands in a pile of heads that include britney spears, heidi montag, paris hilton, and nicole richie. and they all burn.

  12. senor

    Mini me was banging Jerry Seinfeld’s wife? wow! i must’ve missed that…

  13. long

    Wow, can I get her number? I mean most women laugh uncontrollably at my tiny penis. I can just tell her that I’m the original Long Dong Silver!

  14. Googlybits

    100: Yes, the Holocaust happened. Let me guess – you are either Muslim or antisemitic or both. Which is it?

  15. justifiable

    #114 Any chance it’s Mel Gibson’s idiot father? Whatta maroon.

  16. 114 kisses backside and the Apocalypse is at my House

    Whick holocaust, douchebag? A whole fucking lot more people than the Turkic folk (Ashkenazis or converted Jews, not Israelian derived) from Kazhar.
    What about the native Americans here? What about the African slaves here? What about the Palestinians there? The Russians from WW2? How many died? 20 or 30 million?
    I guess only Ashkenazi deaths are of any importance.
    It says so in the Talmud.

    As for me I am not antisemitic as I do not hate any Semitic people. I hate individuals. And sometimes multiplicities of individuals.

    So Googlybits, take your illogic bag to your smelly ghetto where YOUR kind sit around and feel important.

    As for us the masses. We are indeed owned and have been mostly for a long time. The Masters are now showing their real power as evidenced by the current Administration. Anyone that cannot see this is mentally blind.
    Or Republican.

  17. Ya know what this babe is surprisingly hot for a dwarf fukcer. Vern is a dwarf not a midget btw. If he got to blow three loads in her cooch in 20 minutes i’m sure it’s worth this embarassment.

    PS: Dwarf banging chick has a straight body holla!

  18. .

    100:
    are you actually ignorant enough to believe that the holocaust did not happen?
    you actually believe that such an an immense number of people would somehow join together all in the same lie with the same stories of what was going on? Because if thats actually what you think, you are incredibly dense and thickheaded.

    and to 104: none of it is okay. If I would have seen those comments I would say it was wrong as well. There is how ever a grey area between what comments people believe are right and wrong. For example, people making jokes about jewish people having large noses. Yes that is wrong, but I am less likely to repent against a comment like that because there is a strong difference between that and saying they should be burned in ovens. One is a stereotype, and the other is just absolutely disgusting.

  19. Steffen

    It is said someone found her on the wealthy dating club R I C H L O V I N G.C O M for hot guys and girls to hook up for Hot Love and Sexy Dating. She has a personal account there with her pictures,blog…In her friend circle, some other stars can be found there.

  20. I might take these pics and make a screen saver slide-show that plays “The Way We Were”.

  21. TwistyG

    I couldnt help but fell a sense of irony when i clicked the “Full Size” button on the photos

    hahahahahaahha

  22. PostmortemG

    “besides all yall hating on her looks, u know shes cute. a midget got a better looking chick that all yall!!!”

    I think i understand your point, but seriously, the slang/grammar is a challenge to decipher. As for this story? Wow. I did laugh.

  23. tessa

    you can flush her in the toilet!!!! or maybe bury her alive 20ft. below the ground so she can never resurface. what a skank!!!

  24. JP

    I wonder how many of the racist people on here have actually met a Jewish person before…

  25. citizen_pinhead

    On The Bright Side, She’d Probably Think Your Cock’s Huge

  26. Netsurfer

    That has GOT to be the sickest crap I’ve ever read. Oh, and since regular condoms don’t fit, I wanted to suggest a finger cot or maybe one of those rubber thumb covers that give traction when thumbing thru papers. Geez, what a sick freak (and I’m not talking about HIM).

  27. ben

    stupid bitch

  28. SK

    Discussing whether or not the Holocaust happened on a post about a random attention whore fucking a midget actor? You win a prize, Internet.

  29. Gretchen Weiners

    fuck all you jew haters…and i’m not even jewish

  30. Dee

    She must have been sick to have had any sexual relations with him… He has the body of a child (well a toddler) and the face of a middle aged man. So strange- what would a woman like that want to do with him other than money and fame…? Shes not very good looking but still…come on!

    Shes just wrong. urgh.

  31. REALITY CHECK

    THIS CHICK MUST BE FUCKING HUNGRY FOR FAME TO SPREAD THIS KIND OF FAME, WHAT A LAME INTENT TO BE FAMOUS HAVING SEX WITH A FUCKING GREMLIN.

  32. ahah

    hey at least he got some pussy

  33. lmfao! I can’t get past the lobster bib shot!!! Vern looks so pissed & uncomfortable! omg – can’t stop laughing!

  34. Friedrich Braun

    “#36 Nothing worse than a Nazi that can’t spell “seig”! BWAHAHAHAHA, you fucktard, no wonder you lost the fucking war.”

    You can’t spell it either, pinhead. It’s “SIEG HEIL!”

  35. Michelle

    This is for Havoc- I totally agree it would be hard to have have sex w/ someone who looks like someone that just came out of the vagina, but notice I wrote SOMEONE not SOMETHING. I believe midgets (dwarfs, whatever) are people, just like babies

  36. Michelle

    This is for Havoc- I totally agree it would be hard to have have sex w/ someone who looks like someone that just came out of the vagina, but notice I wrote SOMEONE not SOMETHING. I believe midgets (dwarfs, whatever) are people, just like babies

  37. Bob Jones

    Ranae, you are a loser.

  38. Justin

    i’m sorry that just isn’t even funny. it’s just a sad attempt by some gold digger to cash in any way she can. she’s just a high priced prostitute. so what he was born short, but she sucked/fucked his dick and will only dream of how much more successful he is than her.

  39. Jason

    Fuckin hilarious.

  40. Like it,Your blog is good.

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