Milla Jovovich is totally nude

September 8th, 2009 // 271 Comments

Milla Jovovich appears completely nude in the Fall/Winter issue of Purple which makes her Maxim shoot look like, well, a Maxim shoot. In the meantime, I’m trying to figure out the storyline here, and I’m guessing Milla is a young woman who just moved into a new apartment and thought waving her vagina over the boxes would magically unpack them. For the record, ladies, this actually works. But only if you have a spotter. (I’m free all day.)

NOTE: Pics link to NSFW versions that should make you evaluate how much you really like your job.

Photos: Purple
superficial

  1. ahoff

    Didn’t she just have a kid and gain 80 lbs for the pregnancy? DAMN! I can’t believe she’s gotten back to this. What money can buy…..

  2. stupidass

    holy shit, this made my day.

    pretty sure my romp with her would involve coitus interruptus via my prematurus ejaculatus

  3. Veronica

    “Yes, she’s got a body so tight she could dance for the Bolshoi and a face that inspired a million wet dreams, but mehhhh, those nipples are so nipply and her bush is so fluffy, jibber jabber jibber jabber, clang clang clang…….”
    SERIOUSLY, YOU GUYS? SERIOUSLY?

  4. Pilatunes

    That is truly awe inspiring. Slim but not skinny, real boobs, drool inducing nipples, perfect bum, and neat, unshaven vag.

    Not to mention the killer face.

    Where’s the crotch icepack I keep around for times like this?

  5. Jak

    she’s pretty but she needs some curves! fast! her body, although very well toned, is way to boyish…not my style. sorry. put your clothes back on.

  6. Motorboatin' Sunuvabitch

    I suddenly want to move to Ukraine.

    she can call me Corbin Dallas anytime.

  7. tabacchifc

    simply the best… many thanks milla!

  8. Randall

    Milla has a delightful physique and stunning facial features that deserve to be showed off in the clearest of lights — in this case, nude. Her toned legs and tight stomach do not go unnoticed in this risque photo shoot, and I applaud her for maintaining her health and body so effectively. Well-played, Milla, well-played.

    Randall

  9. Samela

    Why do the posts on this site always get shifted around? This post was like four down, and now it’s back at the top. Super annoying, please stop it.

  10. rien

    the only way you can tell that’s not a guy (with weirdly large nips) is the lack of penis…

  11. Big Pimpin

    I praise that bush. With pubes, women have something “there”–circle, circle, triangle, as the kids used to say in elementary school.

    Further, a bush means there more mystery to be had. If you shave it down, there’s no mystique, no getting through to the next level. Full disclosure of the most unwanted kind. (Said another way, everybody can see her bush, but would you love to see what’s under that mofo?)

    Finally: lots of pussies are just weird looking. Alien-looking weirdness. They need their fur hats to improve their appearance.

    At bottom: the world has gone insane with the stripper bald look. It doesn’t make you look 11 (cause 11 year-old pussies aren’t all busted up); it doesn’t make you look adventurous (because, at this point, every slut on the planet is rocking that shit); it doesn’t even look good (hello, redlips!). It ruins the fantasy and takes away the only external referent women have for their vaginas.

    I don’t want an absence–a want a triangular garden of hidden delights. Go on with you bad self, Mila.

  12. dre

    #100 – I agree that she is pretty and has a nice body, but it would be better if she gained 20 pounds, she looks sickly.

    Gee, I wonder why I’ve had a hard time accepting my body. I’ve had a lot of people in my life ask me if I have an eating disorder- even complete strangers. Guess what- some people are naturally skinny! I know here that it’s just anoynomous internet bashing and I can take it with a grain of salt but it’s still incredibly rude to tell someone that they look sickly. Just putting my two cents out there, not bragging. Who the hell that is reading this is ever going to meet me anyway?

  13. dre

    #100 – I agree that she is pretty and has a nice body, but it would be better if she gained 20 pounds, she looks sickly.

    Gee, I wonder why I’ve had a hard time accepting my body. I’ve had a lot of people in my life ask me if I have an eating disorder- even complete strangers. Guess what- some people are naturally skinny! I know here that it’s just anoynomous internet bashing and I can take it with a grain of salt but it’s still incredibly rude to tell someone that they look sickly. Just putting my two cents out there, not bragging. Who the hell that is reading this is ever going to meet me anyway?

  14. Parker

    I have to say, there is nothing that would stop me from buttfucking this girl if she bent over in front of me. Especially if she offered to make me a sandwich afterwards. I just don’t see it not happening.

  15. Dirk

    so this is what pancakes look like

  16. you turds

    #53 are you a complete fucking idiot???
    Hair down there acts as a filter to dirt, women who shave have a much higher instance of infections, pubic hair is there for PROTECTIVE reasons.

  17. Addy

    Hmmm, I just lost a bit of respect for her

  18. AnnaDraconida

    AMAZING.

    She’s so beautiful it’s unreal. Always has been, always will be.

  19. Randall

    All I’m saying is there is a huge difference between a lawn and the Amazon. I mean I keep my shit nice and trimmed…ok, nice is subjective (I.E. tiny)

    Randall

  20. Brad

    #113 -

    email your pics at bradleydusek@yahoo.com and I’ll give you an honest and thoughtful critque of your physique. Supermodels are thin, why would you be self-conscious?

  21. Randall

    All I’m saying is there is a huge difference between a lawn and the Amazon. I mean I keep my shit nice and trimmed…ok, nice is subjective (I.E. tiny)

    Also, on closer inspection (Tugging it like a bastard) her snatch hair is actually just right. not too much, and not too barren, and on display for me and the world to see and viciously masturbate to.

    Randall

  22. ariana

    so beautiful, not like lindsay or thos other horse

  23. ariana

    so beautiful, not like lindsay or those other horse

  24. ariana

    so beautiful, not like lindsay or those other horse

  25. Paladuck

    I just wanna chew on those nipples.

    OM NOM NOM

  26. Franjo Tujman

    Mmmmm, lunch!

  27. sooooo

    Didn’t she just have a kid? She looks great, all things considered.

  28. Mr. Incredible

    “Totally nude?” False advertising–I see shoes! And a lot of nice other stuff…

  29. Butt Muncher

    Me so horny. Oh by the way,

    Last!

  30. wasd

    can anyone see any slit?

  31. Sarah

    #90, NO. #108, YES. I <3 you, Randall. You’re one of the best things about the Superficial.

  32. LoserOnLine

    FRIST!111!!1one1!

  33. SOS

    I love how people like a little hair down there. You like your women masculine? You don’t look like a little kid without hair down there if you’re a girl– you look like a woman, and feminine. Should you have hairy legs and hairy armpits to match the muff or what?
    What’s wrong with being shaved down there? It’s feminine and sexy. What straight man wants a mouthful of pubes, regardless of whether or not they’re trimmed! MANLY!

  34. ohlivea

    interesting, that’s exactly the way i’m shaped, except the nipples….

  35. Mandy

    To all the guys bitching about ladies not going 100% bare, how many of you even TRIM? I think a tidy grooming is in order down there, but it goes both ways. We like to see the goods too, not a whole puffball of unkempt pubes! (Especially if it’s hiding a small one, that’s just sad). Gone are the days of the ’70s male actors flaunting their hairy chests (and presumably everything else down south). Men, you too must evolve with the trends of our time.

    One last thing, for you guys demanding a brazilian or bust, how about you try a manzilian first. Hurts like a motherf*er!

  36. JEFF

    THEM ERASERHEAD NIPPLES COULD HURT SOMEONE…

  37. Big Pimpin

    #133: “What’s wrong with being shaved down there?”

    It’s fucking UGLY. Nobody wants to see your pimply beef curtains, get it? God put pubes there to cover your knarled puffy lips. Hidden behind a trimmed beard they’re beautiful, but shaved? Good christ, for many women it’s just NASTY. Chapped, chaffed stretched and swollen NASTINESS.

    Why don’ t put a short stick in between your asscheeks so the world will have to stare at your dirty starfish, too?

    A real man ain’t worried about pubes, honey. You need to get off the Affliction t-shirt fuck parade and recognize that a quality lover doesn’t demand you impersonate a porn slut before he’ll blow you.

  38. Mama Pinkus

    Mandy (#135) – you are so friggin’ correct – today’s men love to trash a gal for leg hair, armpit hair, bush hair, while they themselves sport bushes all over their fucking bodies – untrimed nastiness all over the fucking place. Fucking hypocrites.

  39. fuck this

    Women don’t shave retards, unless you want to see a raging red valley of razor burn, women wax these days. Do whatever makes you happy and more comfy and at ease in the sac, but if you are doing it for someone else then you’re an idiot and so are they.

    People are such fucking control freaks that in relationships they have to dictate how the other one grooms and dresses. No one likes that shit. My husbands coworkers were amazed when they asked me how I prefered his hair (long or short) and I said “I love both whatever makes him happy”. Like it was some fuckign miracle that I don’t tell him how to cut his hair or dress. Men are just as fuckign lame as all the women dressing and styling their men when they demand shave this, wax that blah freaking blah. Anyone who tells you how to look is just misearable because they are so insecure in their own ugly fat self inflicted prison of self hate. As long as you are clean and healthy do what you want and don’t waste your time with losers who try to mould you into their own little security blanket. Who wants to be some isecure heinous asshole’s little pet project anyway?

    As for me sometimes I can go either way, waxed or not, but always fresh and groomed. Waxing is great in the summer or if you go on vacation it’s a huge time saver. However especially in the winter sometimes I just don’t feel like crouching like a frog and having the hair ripped out of my most sensitive body part, can you really blame me? Plus it gets cold in the winter where I am so a little fur goes a long way.

  40. Phil

    Mama Pinkus, you’re a fucking wookie.

  41. Phil

    Mama Pinkus, you’re a fucking wookie.

  42. Sally

    Ha ha ha I love Big Pimpin’s comments. Hilarious. The only thing I have to say on the issue is that I think that a nice manicure by far looks the best, but sometimes a Brazillian makes sex better – more lubrication which lasts longer. Sometimes I rock a full bush when I hang out a nudist camps. Its like having different outfits, always fun…

  43. me

    Ribs to me aren’t sexy.

    And didn’t she jsut have a baby?? Losing that much weight, that fast, is unhealthy for the baby that’s nursing on those pencil-nipples.

  44. Truth Doctor

    Sweet Jesus!

    THANK YOU MILLA!
    THANK YOU MILLA!
    THANK YOU MILLA!
    THANK YOU MILLA!
    THANK YOU MILLA!
    THANK YOU MILLA!
    THANK YOU MILLA!
    THANK YOU MILLA!
    THANK YOU MILLA!
    THANK YOU MILLA!
    THANK YOU MILLA!
    THANK YOU MILLA!
    THANK YOU MILLA!

  45. wheredideveryonego?

    FIRST!!!!!!!!

  46. Rupert

    Is there such a thing as nipple-reduction surgery?

  47. uhht

    #133 Are you for real? I mean to each his/her own, but, in my opinion it’s a whole lot gay-er for a dude to be all particular and prissy and fussy about how polished and trimmed their female has to be before they can handle getting near her vag without fainting. Let those boys go get manicures and a Starbucks latte, while a real man dives right in and enjoys.

  48. jake ryan

    My Mom has nipples exactly like her’s.

  49. Hot, hot, hot!!!! Mila always was a stunning beauty and this just clinches it totally. By the way, I like the pubic hair. Not a fan of a totally shaved babe.

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