Miley Cyrus makes shelf space for her Pulitzer prize

October 15th, 2008 // 68 Comments

Good news; Miley Cyrus has finished her autobiography! Yes, we’ve reached a point where a 15-year-old Disney puppet feels entitled to publish her life story. Hey, she deserves it. We all do. Because we suck. The Sun reports:

The book deals with Miley’s upbringing as daughter of country singer Billy Ray Cyrus and reveal[s] how her solid relationship with her family, especially her mother Leticia, helps her navigate the spotlight.
Miley, who is currently filming Hannah Montana: The Movie said: “I’m not sure when it’s going to come out.
It’s finished but you’ve got a long process of editing and all that kind of stuff, so it takes a while.”

“Editing and all that kind of stuff.” Outstanding. This ought to be a real page-turner:

It was the biggest dilemma I ever faced in my life: Should I buy the life-size gold-plated pony, or the Corvette that runs on gumdrops? I hadn’t been this torn since my Teen Cosmo cover shoot, when I wanted to wear pale pink lipstick on my nipples, but Dad kept pushing for magenta because it “brings out those purty eyes of yer’n.” In the end, we compromised and settled on lavender. Because that’s what being part of a family is about: compromise.

Hopefully school administrators are preparing for a change in their curricula, because once this thing hits the shelves, Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl won’t even be suitable for ass wipe.

Photos: WENN
superficial

  1. War Horse

    This is getting crazy. A life story at 15? WTF!

  2. Sierra

    wow, that main pic is SEXYYYY.

  3. latin@s

    okay, this wanna be britney spears skank….. so her book about her life comes out, and yay for all who give a damn,, i mean c’mon miley cyrus???? what a fukin joke,, i think the tele tubbies were much better than this skank,, and tell us all miley skank r’us does this book say that you are dating a 20 year of model who only wants to fuck you cuz your famous???? i think this bich needs a life,,, much

  4. latin@s

    get a fukin life mylie

  5. timmy the dying boy

    Ah hopes thayre’s plenty of purty pitchers in that thar book!

  6. WHORE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  7. Mike Hawk

    some of the funniest pic’s yet…Rotfl!!1 OMGWTFBBQ!

  8. orb205

    She really looks like her face has been repeatedly stung by a bee.

  9. smiley

    When Miley dies, her face will be put on money- if there were money in the future instead of just hugs.

  10. greasyfungus

    omg i cant effin wait!!111

    In response to #3: Pipe down, no one feels like reading all that shit.

  11. smiley

    When Miley dies, her face will be put on money- if there were money in the future instead of just hugs.

  12. greasyfungus

    omg mileys book is going to be sooooooo awesome!!!

  13. Kahlee

    ewwww, she looks like a hideous hybrid of an Olsen twin and Peaches Geldoff in the main picture.

  14. I was born in tennessee were my closeted gay father had sex with me until I grew breasts and reminded him to much of a women. It broke my achy breaky heart. The End. That wasn’t so hard maybe I should write books. Nah I’ll stick to coloring them.

  15. snaggletooth

    Man does she look high in that first pick. there must be enough roophies in that drink to get Fish laid. Man, I miss 15 year-old tail.

  16. Angela

    In the past picture she looks like she is walking like that character from the move Unusual suspects, or something along those lines. I think Kevin Spacey played the retarded guy..yea..her impersonation of him fits to a T…

    What? That’s just her…Ohhhhh

  17. literarycritic

    Fish, is there any way you can put the 3rd picture up as the main one instead? Because Holy Christ, it is hilariously perfect.

  18. Hey numba four—— learn to spell her name right you IDIOT!!! she’s so much cooler than all of you guys anyway. ha

  19. Hey numba four—— learn to spell her name right you IDIOT!!! she’s so much cooler than all of you guys anyway. ha

  20. Miley virus

    Who else wants to bet this bitch will be knocked up by 16?

  21. max

    She looks stoned or hungover. Or maybe, just maybe, Billy Rae just climbed off of her after a hard ride.

    What a slut.

  22. Bored

    Way to much hating. I hope that she manages a smooth transition to adulthood so we don’t get more train wreck fodder. The girls close to being a billionare before she turns 18 so more power to her!

  23. max

    On second thought…she’s retarded.

  24. Dirtypants

    God, retarded chicks are cute. (sprinkles suger on my cock) ” Hey there Mylie, want a lollipop?”

  25. Mike

    Well, the diary of Anne Frank actually ISN’T worth an ass wipe because it is 100% fictional.

  26. You want to try your luck on this KID, folks?

  27. Anne Frank was a cute girl with a very compelling story. She had a gas problem, though.

  28. Fernando Narcos

    It’s kinda creepy calling teenage girls things like whore and cunt….

  29. timmy the dying boy

    Here’s a recently uncovered part of Anne Frank’s diary:

    http://tinyurl.com/27trjd

    That poor, poor kid.

  30. riz

    i love you for these pictures.

    DOWN WITH MILEY!

  31. Gar

    Is this serious cyrus ?

  32. Putz Balzac

    Smillyscmyrus rates right up thar with Jamitin.

  33. Jenna Jeemison

    LOL, the second part was done by Superficial, right? For a moment, I thought it was real. Because you know… her dad is creepy like that and I totally believed it.

  34. 1moreidiotintheworld

    Brilliant!!!! One more self-absorbed hollywood piece of shit who thinks all of us peons need to learn all about her long, complicated 15 years of life being molded into the next Media Whore to replace Britney…..

  35. Ed Eisner

    Too bad Disney is no longer a moral and fantasy phenomenon. It is now run by capitalist pigs who have driven the good name into the ground for the sake of using child psychology to enrapture children with the lowest common denominator of their psyches.
    Television needs to be a limited experience for children. Parents should make there kids read more and play more without tv and videogames. Arts and crafts, woodworking, lego sets, hiking and camping, general excersice and tons of reading books.

    I know I know I am an asshole. But look at this country now. We are now idiots here scholastically.

    OH and tax all the money away from the robber barons that they managed to steal from us to pay for it all.

    And then we won’t have any whores and such influencing our children with mindless fantasies, like this talentless media creation.

  36. What’s in the ice-cream?
    IS IT SPACE-CREAM?
    …………………..NEW?

  37. @29…LOL. That was great!

  38. ekki_skila

    “brings out those purty eyes of yer’n”

    Ba HAHA! I wasnt expecting that. I believe I snorted!

  39. Vanilla…and chocolate…hmm….

  40. FACE

    What a worthless peice of white trash

  41. Deacon Jones

    Maybe this is why it’s so easy to talk your way into a teen’s pants these days – theyre fucking dumb as hell from growing up on this garbage

  42. yuck

    FUGLY BITCH

  43. 36yoMale

    I’d hit it.

  44. poo man group

    How much cocaine do you think is in that Billy Goats Gruff-lookin brat’s sundae?

  45. FUCK YOU #27 FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

    All I was gonna say is look at that cloud of smoke and her eyes, the sundae???
    Pass the joint, biatch..

  46. Erik

    AHHHHH. Dude next to her is wearing an Ed Hardy t-shirt. Instant Douchebaggery!!!

  47. Billy Ray

    Now Miley, bend over ‘n let yer pappy stick it in that purdy lil’ butt of yers ’cause you gots to stay a virgin for all your fans, here, don’ move whilest I coat yer face wit’ Daddy’s own special “country gravy” Who really luvs ya darlin’?

  48. In ur butt

    Couldn’t agree more Ed eisner. thank God for Pixar. They put disney to shame, as it should be. Miley and her ilk deserve their place alongside the hasbeens of the entertainment manufacturing plants we have today. Meanwhile, real art will live on for eternity.

  49. supersex

    hope she shares what ever the fuck she’s smoking.

  50. Wow

    Calling young girls such names as what is mentioned here is wrong. Go pick on someone your own age.

    I, for one don’t want to read the foul mouthed comments, which to me, seem to be only a peek into dark, dirty and warped little minds.

    I am related to her by marriage and can tell you that she is none of the terrible things that are being said about her on these comments.

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