Miley Cyrus’ tour claims a life

November 20th, 2009 // 97 Comments

Presumably as punishment for simulating masturbation on stage, the Lord saw fit to flip one of Miley Cyrus’ tour buses this morning in Virginia leaving the driver dead. Miley was not on board. The AP reports:

Sgt. Thomas Molnar said the bus overturned around 8:15 a.m. about 40 miles (65 kilometers) south of Richmond.
One of the other nine passengers had minor injuries. Police would not identify those aboard.
A wrecker arrived late Friday morning to haul away the black-and-maroon luxury tour bus, which was on its side in a ditch off the highway where it had apparently skidded for several hundred feet.
According to Miley Cyrus’ Web site, the pop singer is scheduled to perform Sunday in Greensboro, North Carolina.

Remember, kids, if God can’t find a kitten, a bus driver will always do.

Also, all that stuff about going blind.

EDIT: The Superficial offers its sincere condolences to the driver’s family. Much like I noted when Madonna’s tour killed someone, I don’t even know how you reconcile losing a loved one so Disney can rake in billions teaching 10 year old girls how to be jailbait strippers. My jokes are aimed solely at the Miley Cyrus franchise, and I apologize for any insensitivity that may be perceived.

Photos: WENN
superficial

  1. Disneyland

    Yes it seems a pity that the military mad Americans kill millions of lives for capitalistic conquest, and yet pretend to give one iota about a random nameless fuck all of a sudden. I guess people in other countries are not really people. It sounds as though the media have accomplished what they have set out to do. Brain wash and desensitize the mindless masses.
    Look at what Disney – who owns it now by the way?- does to our little girls. Teaches them how to be little whores! Fashion sells! Sex sells! Plastic surgery and fashion will make you sexy! Sell sell sell but buy buy! And now everything is made in China and America is a whithering pauper!
    And to think that the Chairman of the Federal Reserve does not know where the $2.2 trillion went!!!!!!!!!
    Capitalism. Actually the capitalists.

  2. tom cruise

    love is never having to say you’re sorry…

  3. Kilmer

    The picture of Miley rubbing one out is a turn on.

  4. hateyoufornoreason

    Miley looks fat in these pictures.

  5. On the Wrong Site

    Holy crap, people. If you want sympathy and pathos, you’re on the wrong freaking site. I’m pretty sure this site is based on tits, sarcasm, tits and self-loathing. If you wanted all posts to be about genuine emotion or tact, go visit your mom’s facebook page.

  6. Rosie

    Where was all the outrage when the post of the dead celebrity photographer was attributed to the scrotum on Lady Gaga’s head?!!

  7. Wow… someone sucked all of the funny out of this website…

  8. just sayin'

    Miley, lay off the cheetos

  9. Peter Griffin

    testicles. that is all.

  10. stream

    Newest Hoodies and cheap Jordan shoes in free shipping charge! Lowest price!high quality! http://www.welljordan.com

  11. Lucy

    chill the f out, he is mocking miley if anything.

  12. Jill

    I like how it’s not possible for people to think this post was out of line without being attacked by people for being somewhat sympathetic for a life lost… who said everyone who feels for the bus drivers’ family is a Christian much less the bigots that you’re trying to make them all out to be?

    Yeah Superficial, you try too hard. You were better when I started reading you 2 years ago.

  13. 12:51

    Yikes! looks like it burns … a lot.

  14. OJ's Mom

    F*ck that ‘Fish, you don’t apologize to ANY of these whiney soccer mom bitches. This site has always had the sack to cross the line, and if you don’t like that then click the big f*cking “X” in the top-right of your screen, you moral-majority cunts. Go to disney.com and get your fill over there.

    You make me wretch, you self-rightous whores. Die, right along side Miley.

  15. To #64

    “This site has always had the sac to cross the line” wow you’re really living on the edge by writing about teenie boppers and commenting on womens biknis you fucking loser. Youre really crossing a line when you post things on the internet where there is no consequences you retarded little turnip

  16. I like how they included the kilometer conversion in there, like anyone in NC would know what that was.

  17. saywha?

    thesuperficial should stick to bashing carrie prejean. going after miley cyrus’s dead bus driver is bound to backfire. seriously, thesuperficial just made an (__|__) of itself. just give up on this story before you have to dedicate an entire article to apologizing for your insensitivity.

  18. missywissy

    wow, I know the Superficial writer can be dick, but this one took the cake. I love this site, and get a good laugh… but this one….. yikes. WTF? Come on, dude, you’re waaaaaay more creative than this. Cut the Jesus and God jokes and picking on families in morning. Ah, but I always come back for more.

    If God and Jesus doesn’t exist, why go on about them? I don’t believe in Islam, but I don’t insert their God in my conversation. Leave Christianity out of all of it. It makes it easier to want to come back here.

  19. Dude…. if someone dies it’s not cool to make jokes about it, it’s just like you, if you died would you like people to joke about how you died?

  20. Molly

    25: You trying to act tough would be cute if it weren’t so pathetic.

  21. Craig

    Oh, fuck that dead bus driver. And fuck Miley Cyrus. And fuck religion. And fuck every single person who got their panties in a twist over this post.

  22. Jamie Lynn's Uterus

    Miley should be arrested and charged for murder, then jailed.

  23. seriously

    bad taste.

  24. Pauly

    Darwin says BOOYAH ! Let’s roll cause the show must go on…

  25. LOL

    LOL. Wow, all you fuckin’ uptight cunts. Do you fucktards realize how many people die each day? Do you shed tears for them? No, but you will bitch when someone else doesn’t.

    A bus driver died, oh noes. While it is tragic, that does not mean everyone (especially at Superficial) needs to fuckin’ weep about it. And get that god loving bullshit out of here. You come here to look at half-naked (or sometimes, fully naked) women and to mock celebrities that you wish you were, and you want to say shit about god? LOL.

    1.) A bus driver died. Miley Cyrus is a bitch. Get over it.
    2.) If you are so religious, go bible thump, bitch. Don’t go troll a celebrities gossip site.

    Superficial writer, I applaud and appreciate your bluntness. As I’ve already said, yes, it’s sad that someone died, especially while driving a bus for DIsney’s milk cow, but this isn’t a obituaries site. Fuckin’ get over it. This is the same boo-hoo as all the whiny comments in the DJ AM post.

  26. quake

    Well I thought it was funny.

  27. Christina

    I think Fish is awesome.

    Nice Edit.

  28. Superficial writer, I applaud and appreciate your bluntness. As I’ve already said, yes, it’s sad that someone died, especially while driving a bus for DIsney’s milk cow, but this isn’t a obituaries site. Fuckin’ get over it. This is the same boo-hoo as all the whiny comments in the DJ AM post.

  29. Superficial writer, I applaud and appreciate your bluntness. As I’ve already said, yes, it’s sad that someone died, especially while driving a bus for DIsney’s milk cow, but this isn’t a obituaries site. Fuckin’ get over it. This is the same boo-hoo as all the whiny comments in the DJ AM post.

  30. General Disaray

    Hilarious. I love to see posts like this which entice masses of hypocrytical morons to splash their self-righteous bullshit in our faces about being insensitive to the death of a random stranger.

    Last time you saw the news and heard of 25 people killed in the middle east, or 45 killed in China, did you even batt a fucking eye lid? Did you run to the internet to post your heart-felt condolensces for each of these people because they are just as important as celebrities? Shut up.

    On top of all this, the writer was taking a subtle yet significant jab at Miley Cyrus and her morally ambigious franchise, and not as you argue, making light of the unfortunate death of her bus driver.

  31. Order out of Chaos

    #80 you sound like quite the heartless asshole. Right wing retarded repugnican I take it?
    Some of us actually do feel bad when they hear of the sufferings of others, no matter their species even.

  32. seriously

    Seriously. Sometimes you just have to stop laughing. Id hit it. She’s 18 right? (dont answer that question).

    SICKOS

  33. Impy C

    I love this site and expect ANYTHING when coming to it because it’s always off the wall hilarity. I know that in any other past post, despite whoever celeb died or reg person because of a celeb, there is always something written for them and their families. So people need to chill out. One mistake people, c’mon! Please keep writin’ Mr. Superficial.

    Imp C

  34. people who go to this site cant read/write (sept meeh)

    agrees with 5 – November 20, 2009 11:33 AM

    That’s just messed up, Superficial Writer. A life was lossed and you make light of it. Not cool indeed.
    agrees with 5 – November 20, 2009 11:33 AM

    That’s just messed up, Superficial Writer. A life was lossed and you make light of it. Not cool indeed.

    A LIFE WAS LOSSED
    LOSSED

    LOSSED????

    LOSSED

    SERIOUSLY

    GO KILL YOURSELF

    AND THEN LEARN HOW TO SPELL IN HELL

    A LIFE WAS LOST

    NOT LOSSED

    YOU

    IDIOT

    MONKEY

    IDIOT

  35. re superfish

    superfish: at least hes not a fag like perez

    NUFF SAID

    srsly pplz… fking learn how to spealllll!

    SPEAL ISH ROITE

    “A LIFE WAS LOSSED”

    LOLOLOLMFAO

    LOSSED??????

    REALLLYyyY???????

    WHAT’S LOSSED???

    YOU ARE STUPID, LOSSED IS NOT A WORD

    IM GONNA KICK YOUR ASS

  36. Gigs

    a 16 year old simulating masturbation on stage. I don’t know what to think about this one.

  37. Jean

    If you feel bad about joking about the driver losing his life, then take the jokes off. It is repulsive that you would do that. It is not a times or place to be doing that. No matter what your feelings are about Miley, a person’s life has been lost, and you are disrespecting their life right now by making light of it. Please change your article immediately. This man deserves respect.

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  41. General Disaray

    #81 I’m not a republican or right wing, nor am I retarded. Read my post again and you’ll realise I didn’t say that you shouldn’t care, or that I don’t care. What I’m saying is that a lot of people are hypocrits and that I think the post was not as disrespectful as some people suggest.

  42. el ces

    Cocksucker was probably drunk.

    Miley better start screening these “enlightened minds” for heavy drinking or substance abuse before they kill her.

    …Beware the Disney Curse.

  43. Gary

    Miley is 17, so she’s not exactly jailbait.

    I suspect little Miley thinks its just a dance move. She is not the sharpest tool in the box, and seems to be surrounded by a showbiz bubble of the same kind that fucked up Michael Jackson and Britney Spears.
    When she was on a UK chat show with Helen Mirren, Mirren gently advised Miley to think long-term about her career and not be rash. I doubt she listened, alas. Miley is at once lovely and stupid.
    I do think Miley has talent, but sadly she is not developing her talent and instead she is riding the bullshit wave of popularity. She’s surrounded by people who are not giving her good advice and are not taking care of her, instead thinking how much money they can milk out of her.

    Does she deserve a very severe caning? Yes.
    But I would not wish death upon her or anything of that sort.

  44. Hi
    I don’t know what to think about this one.

  45. very beautiful….

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