Miley Cyrus thinks Britney Spears needs help

January 18th, 2008 // 221 Comments

Miley Cyrus the 15-year-old star of Disney’s teeny-bopper juggernaut Hannah Montana thinks Britney Spears needs help. Miley told Extra last night that she understands how Britney is the way she is:

“I understand and the pressure is definitely hard, but I think just keeping your head on your shoulders is easier than it looks,” she said. “I think if you know who you are, then I think you’ll be fine for the rest of the way.”

The sad thing is that in ten years Miley Cyrus, a product of Disney just like Britney, will be arrested for selling her baby for two Mallomars and half a container of Cool-Whip. She could’ve had a normal childhood, but no, Billy Ray Cyrus had to have his solid-gold hunting cabin. Complete with fully functioning “Budweiser Mullet Volumizer Chair.” Got-damn, Billy Ray, was it worth the ding dang price of your kin? Wait, y’alls got a bowling alley next to the tree stand. Su-weet!

NOTE: These are pictures of Miley at last night’s premiere of Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert 3D. If I ever have a daughter, the only thing she’ll be doing in 3D is kicking every boy in the crotch that tries to talk to her. You know, just till she’s 40 or I finally die from all the sexy radiation I give off (i.e. whiskey-related liver failure).

Photos: Splash News
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  1. The One

    Miley Cyrus is damn ugly in these pics!! Usually on her show and on the red carpet, she’s passably cute at best, but here she is one FUGLY BEAST. Her skin is as white as a ghost, she has wayyyy too much dark eye make-up on, her nose is big and fat and shapeless, and her lip color is just hideous. Plus her arms are like, fat and manly now. Hm what else can I bitch about?? Oh yeah and her knees are wrinkly and doughy. And that dress must have come from a stripper’s closet, because it is completely tasteless and whore-like. Okay! I feel so much better now that I got that off my chest.
    PS: Hun, take off all that makeup and be a 15 year old girl au naturale

  2. fo'sgirl

    LOL omg. Things like this just brighten my little day. Ok. I HAVE to know what she’s doing with her lips. She’s not making “kiss lips”…is that a …pout? Her lips look like a horizontal pair of freshly waxed vag lips. Gross… (sorry guys..lol…)

    she may be a nice girl…i dunno…saw a couple clips of the show, something my 15yr old sis watches. Seems harmless enough. Let’s hope she makes the right decisions. Maybe she needs scientology in her life. :)

  3. Binky

    # 150 – 152 . I’m pretty sure you didn’t pass Cliff’s test up there at # 140.
    Any comments on 9/11 ?
    (Or ‘not quite sure which way is North’ type thing? etc)

  4. Binky

    149* (oh shit)

  5. Binky

    Cliff Notes : Well Binky at least we know those # 150-152 commenters will never be back.
    Binky : Yeah – beginning to notice that Cliff. Guess it could be a ‘cat’s- (Homeland security)- got your tongue’ or a ‘shill’ type thing goin’ on there.
    Never seems to be much of an ‘Oxford Union’ debate type thing goin’ on here dealin’ with the 9/11 mass murders. Seems to be more ‘the superficial’.
    Just picked that up. Good point Cliff.

  6. fo'sgirl

    binky, you talking to me?? ….

    And oh yeah, I passed it. I pride myself in being a dickhead. LOL

    (i

  7. Binky

    Binky : Oh Oh. What do we do now Cliff ?

  8. fo'sgirl

    Being in the military, I don’t talk about my views on 9/11 or Bush. Let’s just say, I may be put away….somewhere far worse than here.

  9. Binky

    Hang in there # 158 – That’s what I thought.

  10. fo'sgirl

    I like the dickhead test…i wanna send it to my prick boyfriend. LOL

  11. RCA

    Somebody tell this girl that YOU CAN’T POSE THE UGLY AWAY!!!!

    damnit!

  12. 152 Scientological Knight @ Night for the Ladies

    We are a loving society of outreaching caring persons interested in helping all mankind attain the next step in his preordained cosmic evolution. There are far greater things in store for the specie than merely emulating an oral sex device. This poor child of sin has strayed too far from the tree of destiny and cries, no begs for a shepard. We will bring her back to the flock.
    Respectfully, your S man on the spot.

  13. Yeah,#162 – tanx for that Tom – but I still have a few probs with the illegal selling of nuclear secrets to Pakistan and Israeli and the ‘inside job’ thing.
    And the fact no American media ever cover this info, type, thing.
    Maybe it’s just me.
    (But if you have a spaceship coming to ‘GET ME OUT OF HERE’ feel free to call me)

  14. Scientological Knight @Night for the Ladies

    Transgression that affect such mere petty structures as nations are not our concern. We are trying to save the world…one soul at a time.
    The lid shields the eye
    I say tear off the lid and see!

    We are here for you, to proudly offer ourselves as the stewards of man’s reintegration with the universe! Behold! That yonder star is but a sun in our backyard! Do not fear change. Let go and be free to come with me. I offer my hand to all of you. Rejoice in the offering!
    Respectfully

  15. Cliff Notes : Hey Binky – I just read one of your links for the first time
    “One of the documents relating to the case was marked 203A-WF-210023. Last week, however, the FBI responded to a freedom of information request for a file of exactly the same number by claiming that it did not exist. But The Sunday Times has obtained a document signed by an FBI official showing the existence of the file.”
    (Seems a little fishy. Move on . Nothing to see here. Everybody just go shopping -type thing)
    Binky : F- off Cliff. I”m busy.
    I’m still trying to figure out what channel this ‘Hanna Montana’ is on.

  16. So # 164 – Any comments on 9/11 ?
    ( enlightened one)

  17. justtheobvious

    I hope she doesn’t think she is hot. She has a stupid way of pooching her lips out. Just looks dumb. And who did her makeup? They need F-ing FIRED!

  18. fo'sgirl

    Hey #166….don’t know who i’m talkin to…Binky..Cliff…dunno. LOL Didn’t quite get that.

    Anyways, clicked on the link….and I can’t say much…but I AM allowed to say A-FUCKIN-MEN.

    I went on a rant before I came to Iraq about that very subject…let’s just say I was warned, and the consequences if repeated, were not pleasant. LOL

  19. Rick

    She thinks she’s hot, but she’s still young and insecure. I’d seduce her, and coax her into sucking my cock, promising not to spurt…but only to see her eyes bug out when she gags on my sudden spurts of thick, salty, bitter, ropey semen. And she was wondering what my hand was doing on the back of her head! Silly little girl.

  20. fo'sgirl

    Geez Rick….creep people out much. LOL

  21. aussie

    I’ve seen her look better – the eyebrows and teeth need attention…other than that she looks like an overmade, teenage slutt-o….

  22. Where was I ?
    Hang in there #168. Don’t vote for Hillary. ( let alone the Repugs)
    We’ll be back. The revolution begins with you. We’re all brothers and sisters.Etc.
    (unfortunately 9/11 was an inside job) (etc)
    I think people are catching on – well ok – maybe not the American voter.
    But feel free to inform your military buds.

    Cheers – Binky.

  23. fo'sgirl

    Damn you Binky!!! I have to go to work in 4.5 hours…and i’m addicted to that damn site i clicked on…all cuz of you. LOL i can’t stop watching!!!!!!!!! AAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

    i love to be angry while i’m here….LOL Seriously…..

  24. SO hot for this topic. Yes, i agree, She need help. It’s hotter topic at this STD dating site STDromance for Britney’s life

  25. Nikky Raney

    ……disney creates sluts everyday

  26. kars

    I just simply don’t like her. No idea why.

  27. lolaluvr

    shes soooooo overated

    god, i just wanna smack that hideous grin off her make-up covered face! god*********

  28. Jess

    She looks like a bitch

  29. fo'sgirl

    She looks like a girl that tried to fuck my boyfriend. Seriously. Maybe shes a nice kid…but if I meet her…i’m gonna make a purse out of her face. Yes, just based off a resemblence. But it will be colorful.

  30. Jenny

    lmao look at her picture; she’s trying to bring back duckface, which is a sign that jenna jameson is her idol.

  31. She's A Whore In Training

    Can someone please explain what her red fingertips mean? Is she a smoker? A doper? Someone who likes to play with fire? Whatever it is, her fingertips look weird and unhealthy.

  32. -d-

    well said, #76!

    -I agree with #182 and it was the first thing i noticed about these pictures…was she eating red kool-aid with salt or sugar in the Limo ride??? -what is she, like 10?

  33. It will be here in 5 years when Disney stops pimping her

  34. It will be here in 5 years when Disney stops pimping her

  35. It will be here in 5 years when Disney stops pimping her

  36. It will be here in 5 years when Disney stops pimping her

  37. Transcendent Scientologist

    What are a few skyscrapers and a few thousand lives when there are so many billions that need attending to. You know His Most Enlightened Mr. Hubbard kept us so very safe for so very long. Join us and we will protect you from this government. If we grow strong enough we will soon offer a candidate to finally take the reigns of control of this country.
    It’s about time.
    Respectfully.

  38. 911 was the open door...to love and understanding...

    …if you only open your minds and hearts to the truth! Come with us and march in the parade of Rejoice! The time is at hand, draw up a fist and uprise…you rears off those pc chairs all the way downtown – we are there for you.
    Respectfully,
    YOUR very own Scientologist

  39. skunkbottom

    This girl is not going to age well. She’s barely cute now. Once that skin isn’t so young and unblemished, she’s going to go downhill quick.

  40. Emphatic Hype over 911

    Look if the government was involved why is it such a big deal? It got us in Iraq close to the OIL where we need to be anyway. So why don’t all you bleeding heart liberals go get a box of tissues and use half for your Demo tears and shove the other half up your stretched out homo asses.
    This is a tough proud Christian country full of rednecks and we aint got no use for pansys. We can always rebuild. There are 300 million of us anyway.
    Why not move to Canada if you don’t like it.
    The Scientology guy makes more sense than most of you queers do.

  41. Ah..

    Hey #98, interesting thought:
    “We should celbrate young people who are trying to make a difference not spoiled selfish brats who live gluttonous lives.”

    So, is that what you’re doing in-between Miley Cyrus rants?

  42. Iambananas

    THE BANANA IS BACK!

  43. Petite

    #190 skunkbottom, you’re right~ she’s barely cute, and her features are a bit cartoonish. I swear she’s plumped that bottom lip, and, are those blue eyes real?

    Teenage life ruined in 3…2…1…

  44. Petite

    It’s 2008: QUIT MAKING THE PEACE SIGN, YOU IDIOT!

    It’s like her, Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson don’t know what to do with their hands while being photographed!

  45. Bozidar The Perv

    #169, you TOTALLY stole my line. How dare you !!!

    Oh well, then, I’d rape her tiny little poophole. Mmh, yummi !
    I sure hopes she loves watching those spider-man cartoons..

  46. MILEYISUGLY

    WTF Is up with her lips and that little smirk??? Did she get her lips done too?She thinks she’s such hot ,old,sexy shit when she’s just a UGLY LITTLE 14 YEAR OLD WANNABEE WHORE! she is hideous and going straight downhilll like Britney. In another year she’ll be eating her word

  47. I personally dont like Miley that much, but I do agree that Britney needs help and urgently!
    But again…it doesnt take a 14 year old to see that

  48. jimy

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  49. amy

    I like the pics on this blog, but the text is so lame. I could so do without the bad jokes tagged on the end of every entry. They’re just painfully bad. Today’s is totally random and has nothing to do with the subject at all. I guess it’s useless to complain that it’s misogynistic, since the whole site is, but the “jokes” are just pointless woman hating.

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