Miley Cyrus thinks Britney Spears needs help

January 18th, 2008 // 221 Comments

Miley Cyrus the 15-year-old star of Disney’s teeny-bopper juggernaut Hannah Montana thinks Britney Spears needs help. Miley told Extra last night that she understands how Britney is the way she is:

“I understand and the pressure is definitely hard, but I think just keeping your head on your shoulders is easier than it looks,” she said. “I think if you know who you are, then I think you’ll be fine for the rest of the way.”

The sad thing is that in ten years Miley Cyrus, a product of Disney just like Britney, will be arrested for selling her baby for two Mallomars and half a container of Cool-Whip. She could’ve had a normal childhood, but no, Billy Ray Cyrus had to have his solid-gold hunting cabin. Complete with fully functioning “Budweiser Mullet Volumizer Chair.” Got-damn, Billy Ray, was it worth the ding dang price of your kin? Wait, y’alls got a bowling alley next to the tree stand. Su-weet!

NOTE: These are pictures of Miley at last night’s premiere of Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert 3D. If I ever have a daughter, the only thing she’ll be doing in 3D is kicking every boy in the crotch that tries to talk to her. You know, just till she’s 40 or I finally die from all the sexy radiation I give off (i.e. whiskey-related liver failure).

Photos: Splash News
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  1. Cap'n Pickles

    Judging the excessive use of that fucking peace sign she is well on her way. After all, it is a staple of Paris and Lindsay. Britney has used it as well. No time at all, and this kid is going to be running around with a cue ball head and speaking in tongues. I give it about 4 years, when her career hits the shitter. And 43? She’s a hollywood kid. Your a little late.

  2. grobpilot

    Fucking celebrities stop with flashing the peace sign already!!! It makes you look more fucking stupid than you normally do.

  3. Gerald_Tarrant

    Someone needs to sew up her vagina now. She is dressing way older than 15. Billy Ray should have his mullet examined for letting his daughter dress like this.

  4. grobpilot

    Unless she’s flashing it as a gang sign, in which case………….. You still look fucking stupid!!!!!!

  5. Thomas

    She so young, but why is she seeking love so soon? I saw her profile at britney_spears_matematchingclub.au with the handle “Mulletette”.

    Interests include destroying her public image, Starbucks, whelping and batshit insanity…

  6. Ma'am Jugsalot

    #3 first time i’ve lol’d at a comment. i laughed like a bear.

  7. Ma'am Jugsalot

    #3 first time i’ve lol’d at a comment. i laughed like a bear.

  8. Ma'am Jugsalot

    #3 first time i’ve lol’d at a comment. i laughed like a bear.

  9. #56-58 – You laughed like a bear, and typed like Michael J Fox with short term memory loss.

  10. gotmilk?

    right. like this pre-pubescent thing has any sort of real world experience to be spouting off advice to people. who is she again?

  11. Angelia's Principal

    Get back to class. Now!

  12. Banana03

    She’s hot.

    OH SHIT AM I GOING TO JAIL NOW?

  13. Banana03

    She’s hot.

    Oh fuck am I going to jail now?

  14. bustoff

    Just another formula-child-porn-fantasy-future-slut, brought to you by the Disney Family Network. She’ll end up with some guys cock in her mouth faster than you can say Jack Robinson.

  15. Shallow Val

    Banana Banana Banana Banana Terracota, Banana Terracotta, Terracotta Pie

    I don’t know, every time I see the word Banana, I think of System of a Down.

  16. Nikky Raney

    everyone who starts out on the disney channel becomes a slut
    britney, christina, etc

  17. Cute

    She’s cute

  18. KickRocks

    Thanks for enlightening us with your 15 year old wisdom Miley. Shut up.

  19. Wow #6, my first troll! Gee, I’m so honored.

    How fucked is Britney that a 15yr can diagnose her?

    #1 TS – you are gay for being excited for being first. Get a life.

  20. Melanie Endsley

    Here real name isn’t Miley. It’s like Rebecca or something.

  21. Melanie Endsley

    Here real name isn’t Miley. It’s like Rebecca or something.

  22. em

    Destiny Hope Cyrus…with a name like that, she’s destined to be a whore.

  23. mrs.t

    My 7-yr old informs me that her real name is Hope. As in, “I hope she don’t turn out like Britney, but dang if mama didn’t blow all my achy-breaky money at bingo!”

  24. woodhorse

    Miley Cyrus needs help with her face. That is one unfortunate looking child. Rumer Willis looks like a Potato Head but Miley looks like a Rat Face. Britney is crazy but she’s able to pretty up. At 15 and that much makeup still not doing the trick does not bode well.

  25. mrs.t

    Ahhh, Destiny. They have to have another one named Charity.

  26. The Powermuff girls

    Fucking bullshit when will these skanks learn. Last time she opened her yap about dressing presentably for her age and shit a bunch of junior slut fauc lesbo pics hit the internet. You are trash, you are a celebrity which means your life will be a trainwreck. It’s a done deal you sold your soul or actually you on were born into it and every kid born to celebrity parents has had their souls already sold before they were even a glint in their alchy parents eyes so you are doubly fucked. Why do these mrons insist on trying to deny their destiny. It only makes them look that much more pathetic when it all comes crashing down. Like when they do a celebrity weddings show blabbing about how happy they are and then they end up divorced a year later. FUCKING PATHETIC.

    Let me give you some advice future taibloid trainwreck, when you are a spoilt little brat who makes more money in a year than the collective income of entire towns and you rob your little child fans and their famnilies who have to save up thousands just to take their kids who for unknown reasons adore your untalented ass to see your horrible shows and everything in your life is handed to you and you have NO concept of reality or the real world and again you are just a fucking child which makes your sick spoiled life even more revolting do NOT dispense with advice to people a decade older than you no matter how pathetic and fucked up they are because you know NOTHING about life. If I had childrne this trash would be totally off limits. No Miley , no Disney channel.

  27. mrs.t

    #76….Britney, that you?

  28. Gorilla Butthole

    Really, whoever made the “Gorilla Butthole” comment on Britney a few posts back is genius. I am stuck on this phrase. My co-workers want to kill me now. My new hero is whoever coined that phrase. Who was it?

  29. Gorilla Butthole

    Really, whoever made the “Gorilla Butthole” comment on Britney a few posts back is genius. I am stuck on this phrase. My co-workers want to kill me now. My new hero is whoever coined that phrase. Who was it?

  30. @9 – not really. She scored the Hannah Montana gig before he did, and, he had to audition, as well.

  31. sla

    #72 — Destiny Hope Cyrus…with a name like that, she’s destined to be a whore.

    …or a televangelist.

  32. mrs.t

    #80-Wow, Violet…I just learned a valuable lesson: Don’t click any unknown link with a 3-year-old on your lap. Holy crap. Please make available to me your most abundant and easily accessed bank account number, so that I can begin her therapy post haste. Or send it to a Nigerian Prince who needs me to contact him most urgently.

  33. granada

    If a girl is not beautiful at 15, she never will be.

  34. Auto-Erotic-Asphixiation

    1. TS – January 18, 2008 2:09 PM
    “FIRST bitches”
    What a “proud moment” your mommy must be experiencing right now. Her money having been well spent on writing classes obviously.

    As for the story – Ask Dr. Phil about giving advise to “The Britney.” I’m less than impressed at seeing another 15 year old “Hollywood Baby-Gurrl” trying to act 40. Ttypical LA…. ” Nothing to see here folks …. Move Along …. Just another Trainwreck about to happen….. Move along please and stop clogging the media.”

    She’s ALREADY trailer trash. She was born into it. She’s Batshit-Whack-0 like her daddy “BILLY-RAY” too. How freekin hillbilly is that ? Mili and Billy…. Where they from? Virginia? Where’s this baby’s momma? WHO’s her momma ? Bet me who her first kids daddy is going to be though. Hell she may even end up as stupid as her daddy. By the looks of things she’s already half way there. She has that far away “Dimwitted Cyrus Stare” thing going in her eyes. Or maybe Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton invited her out for the evening and she’s just thinking???? ahead ????
    Maybe if SHE’s lucky, that Spears duo can give HER some hints on how NOT to act …. Hahahaha ……..

  35. teriyaki333

    I like Miley. She’s cute, sweet, funny, and talented!!!

  36. The Beer Baron

    I thought the term “Best of Both Worlds” referred to Tranny porn. So…how many days till she’s legal?

  37. em

    #80, yes, she IS riding on daddy’s cotails. no way in hell would they have picked this rat face talentless bitch if her dad was not famous. he had to play some kind of role in their decision. and a lesson for all children, boyfriends, girlfriends, or relatives of celebs. just because someone you know or someone in your family can sing, doesn’t mean you can. maybe “destiny” should realize that.

  38. Oh my goodness Miley Cyrus is all kinds of ugly.
    And has the same teeth as Vanessa Hudgens?
    WTF!?

  39. Miley LU

    omg MILEY is going to be JUST LIKE BRITNEY , she is with two girls in bathtub!

    http://oceanup.typepad.com/oceanup/2008/01/miley-cyrus-mys.html

  40. jas

    I think her show sucks, but my daughters like it. She’s just another prositot for Disney.

  41. jas

    durrr…make that prostitot.

    Oh and shut the hell up, Miley. What the fuck does a 15 year old know about anyway?

  42. My God, How can you people make such comments about her?? She is only 15 y/o and does not deserve all the sexual comments. Why does the web-site alllow these go through?? Don’t be jealous folks give her some credit instead..At least she is working

    Mike

  43. bitter?

    #76 wow, you’re bitter. rejected much?

  44. Pop

    Dressing/posing like a porn star or stripper at age 15 pretty much guarantees that drink/drugs/ stoopid tabloid shit (not that I have anything against those…) are destined to occur by age 18 or so…

  45. La Frascatana

    Referring to #3, I know a girl who looks just like her… And she’s named Karen.
    Both look like the young Jane Fonda, with that upside-down mouth and Chiclet teeth, but these are bad pictures.

    Whenever Disney is involved some sort of racy photo will be “leaked.” Disney’s job is to destroy morals so they deliberately publish, and probably set up, pics of Vanessa’s beave and Miley kissing girls. Then, when the girls are inevitably forgiven and it’s chalked up to “normal” teenage behavior, society has crumbled just that much further.

    In 20 years, some photos of a Disney Starlet with all three inputs filled by Indians will be “leaked,” and people will say, “She’s young, leave her alone.” “She’ll have time to grow out of gangbanging casino owners.” “I think she’s the next Annette Funicello if she just gets over her addiction to Native Americans.”

  46. Ted from LA

    I’d like to see a pay-per-view cage match between Brit and Miley. I’d take Brit to break her achy brakey neck.

  47. mamadough

    i bet miley can take 6 cocks at once

  48. The Powermuff girls

    #93. Wow that was a very clever comment. I love how tyou tied your name into it. Just brilliant, truly brilliant. This is CELEB TRASHING site . Mmmkay and trust me no one is jealous of this unattractive future trainwreck and what is there to be bitter about she’s the one who is in for an aweful life, her greed and the way she lives is so incredibly unhealthy. There are kids all over the world who sleep on the street, who die because they don’t have enough food or clean water and this child makes milllions. Bitter more like disgusted. We should celbrate young people who are trying to make a difference not spoiled selfish brats who live gluttonous lives. She is no role model.

    And the Britney comment would only be funny if Britney was capable of writing her own name let alone two paragraphs. .

  49. Ript1&0

    If ever have a daughter, she’s going to be a musical prodigy child. Like, hardcore strict rehearsals. Daily, nightly, whatever it takes.

    This, of course, after I meet and marry my musical genius husband.

    And in 15 years my daughter won’t be sucking Satan’s cock (and talking shit about others) like this little bitch. She’ll actually have some talent.

  50. Dr. Cornelia J. Dogbarker, phd

    Wait. This slut is….what, 15? 16? Whatever. Her outfit, and the way she’s sending me secret messages through the internet, make me want to fuck her in every position, and then throw her out of my car into the dirt. Like the little whore that she apparently is. Probably doesn’t even have pubic hair….

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