Miley Cyrus, Robert Pattinson & Zac Efron’s youth and vigor demand your ratings

February 23rd, 2009 // 77 Comments

As a Hail Mary pass to bring in younger viewers, Miley Cyrus, Robert Pattinson and Zac Efron were invited to present awards at the Oscars last night. Because if there’s anyone who can make kids give a shit about Best Sound Editing it’s Spawn of Billy Ray, Stoned Vampire Guy and The Fruity Kid from High School Musical. Frankly, I’m surprised they didn’t fight crime together after the show. At least until Zac broke a nail, and Robert was like “Dude, we should get nachos.”

Photos: Getty
superficial

  1. katie

    FIRSTTT

  2. katie

    FIRSTTT

  3. bug

    honestly, robert is the most sexiest man ALIVE!!!! so sexy.
    HI KARA

  4. i m just sayin'

    got 2 agree w/ bug on that one. yowza!!!!!!

  5. Canadian Idiot

    You FIRSTTT people only underscore the fact that you have nothing better to do. Do you do it to be annoying? Mission accomplished.

  6. Has she been roughed up yet? all this miley talk no one knows if she’s still in- tact..

  7. katie

    you canadian faggots do you try to be annoying? mission accomplished.

  8. Jrz

    And all three looked like little kids playing dress up. Zac Efron looked like a gay little kid playing dress up.

  9. Rick

    We’ve seen Miley sideboob, so at this point we need at least a nipple slip. Or perhaps a brief flash of the territory Billy Ray uses as a vacation home when he’s tired of his aging wife.

  10. hooper

    Zac Efron does not look like he enjoys pussy. His eyes are so small and beady and the bushyness of his eyebrows only make them look smaller.

  11. Miley Cyrus looks like a chipmunk wearing a fake Christmas tree.

  12. Canadian Idiot

    Good one katie. Are you twelve years old physically or just mentally?

  13. cuttie

    so pretty she is! but I am wondering why she created a profile at “C e l e b m i n g l e. C 0 M”? It is a site for single rich people and celebrities.

  14. God

    Sean Penn completely pwned all sites like this one when he referred to Hollywood not once, but twice, as “commie homo-loving” people. Laughed in your faces. Twice. Not anonymously on the internet, but in a public broadcast. Made your bitterness look more puny than ever.

  15. TJ

    Good God she has buck teeth. HOW did she become famous??

  16. Valerie

    @14 HUZZAH! :D

    I’d still let Zac and Robert take turns eating my pussy.

  17. God is our mighty fortress, always ready to help in times of trouble.
    And so, we won’t be afraid! Let the earth tremble and the mountains tumble
    into the deepest sea. Let the ocean roar and foam, and its raging waves shake the mountains. A river and its streams bring joy to the city, which is the sacred home of God Most High. God is in that city, and it won’t be shaken. He will help it at dawn. Nations rage! Kingdoms fall! But at the voice of God the earth itself melts. The LORD All-Powerful is with us. The God of Jacob is our fortress. Come! See the fearsome things the LORD has done on earth. God brings wars to an end all over the world. He breaks the arrows, shatters the spears, and burns the shields. Our God says, “Calm down, and learn that I am God! All nations on earth will honor me.” The LORD All-Powerful is with us. The God of Jacob is our fortress.

  18. Jrz

    Hey Valerie, I’m going to tell your mom that you said that and you’re gonna get in a LOT of trouble…..

  19. ConnieCorleone

    @#11. I almost choked on my lunch when I read your comment. LMFAO!!! Nice.

  20. Caananite

    Hey Bible guy got any good advise for me since your bible speaks of a god that really hates my kind? I mean you really slaughtered us up real good there a few thousand years ago in our own land you had those invaders ravage!

  21. CandyO is BACK with a vengeance!

    I never say nasty things and my writing is MUCH better than my fishy imposter!
    This is how you will know if it is a CandyO imposter!
    ______________________________________________

    I’m the real CandyO!

    And for you to know me so

    I will always speak in rhyme

    I will do this every time

    If my imposter tries the same

    You will notice he’s to blame

    For some badly written prose

    Not in cadence as mine shows

    Intelligence, emotion too

    So please try not to misconstrue

    The fakery of jerks like him

    Who always leave me feeling grim

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    This post was made by CandyO!

  22. 21. Caananite

    You are mistaken, my friend. When Jesus returns HE will speak to personally.

  23. Buck teeth or not, that girl has some nice boobs.

    Harvey Milk did more good dead than he ever could alive. Freaking liberals are the reason California is so fucked up now. And broke.

  24. Tom Cruise

    Valerie, if Zac and Robert are in the room together, they’ll be enjoying sausage, not fish.

  25. ConnieCorleone

    NEWS FLASH!

    FISH makes up his own posts and most of you do not really exist!

    I have proof! Go to http://thesuperficialscam.com

  26. No REAL woman would talk this way so I must be FISH!

  27. Matt

    #14 – actually I liked it even better when he called out the homophobes who were protesting outside and who voted for the gay marriage ban in California. It takes guts to stand there holding an award and put out your honest views, directly, instead of bowing and scraping and pretending to be a nice non-offensive vanilla person. Michael Moore takes the prize for that, condemning the Iraq invasion while onstage. Everybody booed but he was 100% right then and now.

  28. ConnieCorleone

    WTF #26. You are NOT me. I’ll have Sonny a breaka your kneecaps.

  29. I am FISH and I am trying desperately to be relevant and not just a second rate Perez Hilton!

  30. math guy

    Perez Hilton is third-rate at best, so it’s not possible to be a second rate Perez Hilton.

  31. groan

    #6 – I’m sure Miley’s already been on the red carpet, nudge nudge wink wink, say no more, say no more…

  32. God

    do not speak for Me, children

    many of you will be surprised to find more than your own kind in Heaven

    Black, white, yellow gay or straight
    You are welcome! Set a plate!
    I love ALL My little children in the world

  33. I am so confused I don’t know WHO I am.

    I’M FISH and I do not really exist!

  34. … unless you’re FISH and that makes you third rate I guess.

    BTW… I am FISH!

  35. Alec Baldwin

    All I thought about was if Vanessa kept the bush.

  36. sin

    How long until Miley does soft core porn with her “boyfriend”?

  37. producer

    #38 – Billy Ray said the videos are going to stay private for now.

  38. Alec Baldwin

    I am such a jerk!

  39. Valerie

    19–my mom’s just as randy as I am, nice try!
    25–hmmm, maybe so….well, I can always imagine it : )

  40. Vic

    Miley’s gums wouldn’t bother me as much if they were covered with semen. And if her smile were forced, as if she’s trying to say “hey, it was a really intimate moment, right?” (nope).

  41. Valerie

    Vic–on the flipside, Robert’s constipated, “sexy” gaze wouldn’t bother me so much if it was covered in my sweet juices, face nestles between my legs. And his game face looks forced, as if he’s trying to say “where’s the fucking bathroom? Zac’s semen is dripping out of my arsehole” (tribute to Tom Cruise, above : )

  42. Emma

    Miley, Vanessa and Zac are so annoying. Robert is cute though.

  43. superflous

    Enjoy fame while you can, Mr. Pattinson. I have the feeling that in like 10 years he’s going to look as fat as FedEx and nobody is gonna remember him.

    Zac who? Miley who? In the future Disney should cast better looking pussies. That Miley needs to get that nose fixed and show less teeth. Not Hollywood material at all.

  44. maria34

    She is really hot,i just heard that she is hooking up with a ta ll basketball player on a ta ll da ting place named: ____T allmingle Co m____ ,really?

  45. Pattison looks like he is bringing back heroin chic, or maybe fentanyl chic. Ah, to be young again.

  46. tylor

    the fact that rob would actually say that is incredibly funny

  47. Guest

    Why is Vanessa Hudgens so stupid?? She’s always gazing at Zac or making that stupid (not)sexy face…UGH I hate miley cyrus too. Disney has turned into a terrible company! They produce shitty brainwashing movies with talentless stars and are all about the money!

    (funfact: at their theme parks, they have white, pretty girls at the front and the black/hispanic people in cosutmes and cleaning…racist much?)

    Vanessa Hudgens is such a bad, nasily singer who is a total airhead, and miley cyrus needs to die. I might kill her, actually.

  48. justshoes

    All thes posts are about how much
    we all hate Miley and the other Disney
    ‘stars’……if nobody likes them, why are they famous?

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