Miley Cyrus is Bird Porn Edition Britney

May 5th, 2010 // 154 Comments

Miley Cyrus debuted her new video “Can’t Be Tamed” marking her inevitable transformation into Britney Spears. Everyone pretty much knew this day was coming, but I doubt anyone could’ve predicted it’d arrive on the wings of avian porn. Which is why I’m now 99.9% positive Billy Ray Cyrus wants to fuck a peacock. I dare you to come to a different conclusion.

superficial

  1. fasdf

    first comment bitches

  2. fasdf

    first comment bitches

  3. Taz

    no one wants to see that nude

  4. DJ

    I want to see her nude.

  5. Little hillbilly inbred white trash pretending she’s all grown up and stuff, laughable shit

  6. ashley

    lol this is not good

  7. ashley

    lol this is not good

  8. mer

    No one wants to see that, period.

  9. G

    Wow. What a “Slave For You” rip off….except with birds.

  10. chelsea

    this is actually horrible. she doesn’t have the right body movements. and her voice is pure shit. She needs to stop trying pop or whatever it is she does and realize with that disgusting accent of hers she’s country or nothing. the only reason she got so popular on disney is because little kids don’t know true talent. she can’t even act… and person who wants to see her nude, just google it. i’m sure you’ll find something LOL.

    • LA

      agree… and she said she doesn’t listen to pop and she would never do pop… hahahaha she prolly doesn’t listen to her own music… hahahaa

  11. I don’t know, but I’ve been told: A big-legged woman ain’t got no soul.

  12. Mike Nike

    Wow………………That was fucking terrible. She sounds like a man.

  13. Keno

    And with that global searches for “miley cyrus nude” went through the roof…

  14. GiRL

    Even the lyrics are Brit rip-offs… like “ohh they are trying to make me be like this and I want to do my own thing I’m not a girl not yet a woman, lalala” Recycled.

  15. Puke

    The song sucks, but she looks good. She is almost 18 years old, good for her if she is comfortable with herself enough to let her do a little growing.

    I know when I was 17 I wore the tight spandex mini skirts and dressed sexy.

    Werk it while you got it sweetie!!!

    She is going to be a very pretty woman!

  16. Why does everyone have such a problem with this girl? She’s growing up…of course she’s going to dab in sexuality and flaunt her body. She’s an entertainer. You don’t have to like her music, but I really don’t understand what she’s done to catch so much shit besides having an awkward mouth. lol

  17. Blondiemcblonde

    Her bug eyes and awkward jerk movements throughout the video freaked me out.
    What is Disney doing to these kids?
    Put your clothes back on… IT’S ILLEGAL!

  18. Blondiemcblonde

    Her bug eyes and awkward jerk movements throughout the video freaked me out.
    What is Disney doing to these kids?
    Put your clothes back on… IT’S ILLEGAL!

  19. scott

    # 17, I agree with you 100% And for the people who said you “didnt want to see it” … you sure were quick to click on the link werent you? If you really werent interested, you wouldve just moved on without stopping

  20. melissa

    I usually cant stand miley!! But i actually like this song and think its good!!

  21. Parker

    She’s understandably tired of Daddy tapping the vag so now she wants to fly the coop and enjoy anal sex like any normal woman would. I’m willing to help her out too; I’d be happy to squeeze my weiner into her hot little pooper to show her what grown-up sex is really like.

  22. JR

    @21 I don’t know about you, but when somebody tells me “bird porn” I can’t help but click if only out of morbid curiosity. I mean WTF does that even look like?

    Now I know. Miley Cyrus still sucks.

  23. bar room hero

    total. mind controlled. puppet.

    Mullet-Spawn never stood a chance…

  24. JR

    Okay that last comment was meant for @17, not @21. Bird porn is bad for your health.

  25. Deacon Jones

    just went a thought music had hit an all time low…that sounds like the garbage they blast outside of American Eagle stores in the mall…

    That said, I would fuck the shit out of her. But that things probably been used and abused so much, fucking her would be like throwing a hotdog down a hallway.

  26. bar room hero

    Music hit a low a long time ago (you have to dig deep to find good stuff).

    I hate the pop and most especially rap garbage…WTF, who buys this shit and actually thinks the ghetto ‘lifestyle’ is cool.

    Pop and rap trash serve their masters’ agenda though…

  27. bernard

    not watchable, I couldn’t make to the chorus

  28. giRL

    Yesss. Deacon Jones wins.

    I mean afterall, this song is about how she can’t be tamed at 17, I mean IDK. If you have guys all over you and can’t be tamed good luck with herpes and a cavernous vag. All the hotties in HS I knew are now fat, used up. Go for it hunny.

    “I’m not a fake, don’t make a mistake, it’s inside my DNA” BEST LYRICS EVER. Grammy!

  29. captain america

    “BALDNESS” is coming soon to a theatre near you.

  30. Deacon Jones

    And one more thing:

    I dont know if it’s my perverted mind (probably), but listen to the chorus at 1:45, it goes:
    I can’t be TAMMMEDD…
    I can’t be SHAVEDDD….

  31. tatoo

    bird cage= Gay stuff

  32. B.Spears

    J.C. what a horrible song and zero sex appeal. /EPIC FAILURE

  33. ARGH

    Why the fuck does everything have to be auto tuned now? Every dumbass female singer sounds exactly the same.

  34. Oooo! Look at everyone getting all scared because a girl is showing some sexuality! Give me a break; she’s 17. I proudly gave my virginity away at that age with someone I trusted and I don’t think it’s too young at all. In fact, it’s empowering for a girl her age to claim it instead of letting herself get taken advantage of because she’s listening to what others think she should be.

    Look, I’m not a fan of her music in general but I’m applauding her willingness to break away from the Disney thing in a way that isn’t maddening. She’s got a voice and, unlike Britney was, she’s not an idiot with no idea how she’s being portrayed. Kudos to her for claiming her identity before everyone else tries to. Brava!

  35. Deacon Jones

    @34

    Your uncle Ernie doesn’t count

  36. Rough to the bone

    Boy do I have some hard candy that wouldn’t rot her teeth. And please don’t turn this into a dirty comment.

  37. “I go through guys like money flies…” She said it herself. Slut in training.

  38. bitch PLEASE

    Soo..she’s a momma bird looking to get fucked in the nest?????

  39. lc

    Big teeth, manly body, ugly face. i don’t understand the hype.

  40. Wootang

    At least Britney could dance (*Note that I say could, not can). This is just awkward.

  41. Wootang

    At least Britney could dance (*Note that I say could, not can). This is just awkward.

  42. TheInterpreter

    lay an egg
    1. Literal. [for a hen, etc.] to deposit an egg. Old Red stopped laying eggs, so we stewed her for Sunday dinner.
    2. Figurative. [for someone] to do something bad or poorly; to perform poorly on stage. I guess I really laid an egg, huh? The cast laid an egg in both performances.

  43. lovely

    dude, this is made for an audience of preteens and teenagers. shes the britney of this generation.. give her a break. shes a great enetertainer

  44. muffinmuffin

    omfg she has the crazy eyes in most of the video .
    kinda creepy

  45. ZBee1

    I’m dog-gone pretty myself–still. But I was never as pretty at that age as Miley. Nor could I sing or dance, hence my profession as a law enforcement officer. I know why people dog on gals like her because I come into contact with them daily: they are sad and take themselves to seriously. Lighten up folks.

  46. missywissy

    ummmm….. this was really bad. lol……. for real??? is this a parody of Big Bird meets Rhianna meets Britney???? (still laughing). For reals, when is she going away. She needs to join MADtv. THAT shit was funny!

  47. beavis and butthead

    she was like….huh huh… in a nest or something….

    yeah, yeah, huh huh…. nest! nest!

  48. I love the people turning around critiques like they are primarily of her looks(which are perfectly fine). The real issue is that she is yet another corporate made pop diva, using auto tuned vocals, singing songs with meaningless lyrics written solely to potray a false image, and while managing to over sexualize their pre-teen(note I said PRE-teen) demographic. And none of this without even the slightest hint of artistry, social relevance/commentary, or other mitigating and reedeeming qualities. (Ie: Elvis being called obscene for gyrating his hips? Cultural importance. Miley, like Britney and countless others before her, not so much.)

    And when all is said and done, she will be the one left out in the cold with a severe drug problem as tabloid fodder, used and no longer needed… *while the exact same people responsible for her move on to the next girl*.

    If the modern pop industry was just about music that anyone older than 18 thought was atrocious, that would be fine. That’s normal. This is not that.

  49. Hilla

    miley got lost in a gaga video…

  50. ethyl

    Britney II. In a smelly birds nest. Yeah that’s hot. Auto-Tune makes her sound like anybody else. Music is vapid. meh

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