Great news, folks. Ever wanted to rent Miley Cyrus for your office Christmas party but thought she’d be too classy to show up? Well, Feliz Navidad, motherfuckers! Dreams do come true. The Houston Chronicle reports:
Tweendom’s reigning queen is the star performer at the Lanier Law Firm’s “Christmas Cheers and Charity” party. The annual event will be held next month at the ranch home of Houston lawyer Mark Lanier and his wife, Becky.
The family-friendly extravaganza boasts “Texas Bar-B-Q, fajitas and amusements” on the colorful invitation, which includes a pop-up Cyrus sharing the stage with a guitar-wielding Santa and singing elves.
Oh, wow, fajitas. Because those totally make it less creepy that a bunch of Texas lawyers rented out Miley Cyrus for their own personal concert. No, really, I’m serious. All you mothers out there, tell your daughters to never stop following their hearts because, one day, with enough hard work and mascara they too can wear a mini skirt and dance for Bob in Accounting. Don’t stop believing!
Mia | November 24, 2008 at 2:04 pm
blah
Annonyononymouse | November 24, 2008 at 2:04 pm
buncha pedo’z
Ted from LA | November 24, 2008 at 2:08 pm
This should be an interesting train wreck to watch over the next four years.
Famous Plastic | November 24, 2008 at 2:14 pm
Well, isn’t that exciting (not really).
Dunovan | November 24, 2008 at 2:19 pm
I love fajitas!
Pathetic Worm | November 24, 2008 at 2:20 pm
I prefer to rent a stretch limo. I work in a very small office with people who despise teen “celebs”.
Spanky | November 24, 2008 at 2:23 pm
Wonder how much she will charge on the side for a lap dance or will that be a raffle prize given away or maybe purchased via silent auction. It is a fund raiser after all.
guess what | November 24, 2008 at 2:24 pm
heidi and spencer got married last week
Deacon Jones | November 24, 2008 at 2:24 pm
I guarantee he’s got a hidden camera in either the bathroom or guest room.
Spanky | November 24, 2008 at 2:27 pm
A few Texas margarits in her and she is either going down on someone or she will be double penetrated before the night is over. Since it is a group of lawyers she will probably end up signing a release for the movie rights of it as part of the contract.
Homer Simpson | November 24, 2008 at 2:28 pm
She’s squinting because for an extra $50 her parents will let you give her a pearl necklace. In a few years she’ll be in rehab, followed by Vh1 “where are they now”, followed by celebrity rehab with dr. drew.
Hey dad, here’s my $50!
pink elephant | November 24, 2008 at 2:28 pm
she’s unattractive… like a baby ninja monkey wih downs syndrome…
Ted from LA | November 24, 2008 at 2:29 pm
Praying for Client #9.
Tim | November 24, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Actually “Bob in Accounting” is exactly the type of guy who’d think Monkey Cyrus is hot. Bob has 3 fat, spoiled, ungrateful teenage children, a wife who crossed the deuce threshold after kid #2 and never looked back (or, never looked down and saw her feet), and he’s not at all sure he can continue making the mortgage payments without dipping into his secret whores-and-online-poker money stash. So, making sure he gets a good first-row low-angle seat and hoping Monkey wears a miniskirt and praying she goes commando is about all he’s got to live for.
pat | November 24, 2008 at 2:46 pm
Actually quite a few people in the music business do corporate parties and private parties for millionaires. Very good profit margin. Especially important now that people don’t buy CDs anymore.
friendlyfires | November 24, 2008 at 2:47 pm
There will be blood
Aja | November 24, 2008 at 2:50 pm
Seems tacky, but meh, leave her alone already, she’s sixteen.
Deacon Jones | November 24, 2008 at 2:50 pm
I would love to be a fly on the wall at this dude’s house before she gets there. A bunch of good ole boys, slinging back some scotch at the basement bar…..hmmm I wonder where that conversation would go.
koko | November 24, 2008 at 2:55 pm
How old are these people?!?!?!!? What the fuck?
Richard McBeef | November 24, 2008 at 3:03 pm
She is an ugly little pug. When she turns 18, I will completely stop masturbating to the cardboard cut-out I stole from wal-mart.
Southerner | November 24, 2008 at 3:04 pm
Dey gunna smell her daddy onner.
Matt | November 24, 2008 at 3:09 pm
Nice expression – I love it when the girl is happy and keeps her mouth open even after the first spurt hits her in the eye.
Richard McBeef | November 24, 2008 at 3:18 pm
I hope she lets daddy’s load drip out before she leaves a snail trail on some 58 year old lawyer’s suit.
Massa' | November 24, 2008 at 3:24 pm
She’s 16 so it’s about time for her first bukaki experience. Maybe a Dirty Sanchez since they’re in Texas. She’s gonna have so much drunk lawyer cock up her ass it’s gonna look like a broken Cadburry egg…..
Is she old enough to get implants yet? She needs them.
Rob | November 24, 2008 at 3:31 pm
2 years and counting…just 2 more years….yum
yeeeah right | November 24, 2008 at 3:35 pm
Matt = mom! wheres my meatloaf!!!????
Rough Daddy | November 24, 2008 at 3:37 pm
Has she done a Milk ad yet?
Randal | November 24, 2008 at 4:07 pm
What a drop dead beautiful smile you have Miley, you obviously get it from your mother’s side, although that’s not to say your father isn’t in you either because he is, somewhere.
For the most part, you’ve made yourself who you are just by being you and that’s hard to find in today’s watered down industry of have-nots and wanna-be stars.
You’re the real deal and it shows.
Randal
google user | November 24, 2008 at 4:22 pm
If you do some research you’ll see that this dude throws massive parties every year and invites families. She’s probably invited to entertain the hundreds of kids who will be there. Sorry, kinda boring.
ummm...yeah | November 24, 2008 at 4:41 pm
If Randal HAD a dick, he could put it in her mouth…it’s big enough!
Look at her in the first pic…she’s just asking for a big cock!
Drea | November 24, 2008 at 4:54 pm
Our office is in NY and we received an invitation. We are not doing though. LOL.
Ted Mosby | November 24, 2008 at 5:34 pm
She’s got a husky voice.
fabu | November 24, 2008 at 5:42 pm
She is so beautiful and charming. She is my favorite. Just saw her on the millionaire & celebrity dating club ^^^^^^MillionaireLoving. C O M^^^^^^ last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that
site.
ChloeX | November 24, 2008 at 5:47 pm
I live just down the street from Lanier’s Ranch house, I drive past it every day. He has this party every year, and every year I swear that I’m going to try to sneak in. I sure as hell hope that the street isn’t filled with kids trying to get a look at Miley. I just might have to run them all over. ;-)
ChloeX | November 24, 2008 at 5:47 pm
I live just down the street from Lanier’s Ranch house, I drive past it every day. He has this party every year, and every year I swear that I’m going to try to sneak in. I sure as hell hope that the street isn’t filled with kids trying to get a look at Miley. I just might have to run them all over. ;-)
satansanus | November 24, 2008 at 5:56 pm
@#27….i know what u are thinking. Yum.
@#20 LOL that made my day. Love it.
Face like a frying pan | November 24, 2008 at 7:16 pm
Jesus, she looks like Roseanne Barr. When Miley starts packing on the poundage she’ll be truly hideous.
Houstonian | November 24, 2008 at 7:19 pm
I once attended this annual party, and the story (as well as the Houston Chronicle article) does not give an accurate picture. It is not an “office party.” Lanier throws it as a networking event, and invites clients, friends, business associates, etc. Most bring families, with many kids in attendance. They have train rides, holiday characters in costume, huge light displays, etc. It is held outdoors at Lanier’s house (estate), with lots of large party tents to house different activities. The concert is the centerpiece of the party. The year I attended, Dolly Parton performed. A year or two before, Bill Cosby was the headliner. It is always someone big. Many people there will have no interest in Miley Cyrus, but it will still be a very popular choice due to the number of children attending. It’s a good party if you can get a ticket, but not very newsworthy.
SueMe | November 24, 2008 at 7:43 pm
Im not usually very superficial or mean, but this girl has enough money to get those horse teeth fixed so why not? I know Im not even close to the cutest thing in the world, but those teeth have got to quit.
thesuperficialbloggerisafuckinggenius | November 24, 2008 at 8:24 pm
“Well, Feliz Navidad, motherfuckers! Dreams do come true.”
fucking hilarious
thesuperficialbloggerisafuckinggenius | November 24, 2008 at 8:24 pm
“Well, Feliz Navidad, motherfuckers! Dreams do come true.”
fucking hilarious
wheezer | November 24, 2008 at 8:41 pm
I hate her. But I love her dress.
SueMeSushi | November 24, 2008 at 9:26 pm
SueMe sayz: I know Im not even close to the cutest thing in the world,
We know. trust me, we know.
Drago The Perv | November 24, 2008 at 11:37 pm
She is so do-able. I would assrape her 15yo asspipe and spread my manjuice all over here schoolgirl face. Mmmhh, Yummi !
Oh yeah, the Perv is back !
Drago The Perv | November 24, 2008 at 11:39 pm
#20, you’re a perv…… I like that !
gerard Vandenberg | November 25, 2008 at 6:34 am
She was sitting on a broom-stick by accident.
anyway, SHE ENJOYED IT, folks!!
Spanky | November 25, 2008 at 7:50 am
For once Randall got it right (#28). Miley’s dad is inside her allright. Probably has hot every hole on her body. If she leaves a snail trail left over from her dad does the guy paying for the lapdance get his money back?
Parker | November 25, 2008 at 4:02 pm
Miley,
As soon as you turn 18 I want you to call me. I’ll show you how to enjoy anal sex. No more of that nasty vagina stuff for you. Anal only after you’re old enough cause your ass was made for butfucking. TTYL
Parker
Elvira | November 25, 2008 at 7:23 pm
#44, you couldn’t satisfy a virgin hamster with that little inchworm pencildick! Face it, eunochs like you were meant to receive sex in the ass in a Greek prison. Leave the stiff-cock fantsies to those who have real cocks. Miley would yawn and ask if you’re about ready…..after you were finished!
stung | November 25, 2008 at 7:32 pm
After dating that faggot underwear sniffer and being diddled by her nasty redneck daddy, Miley is craving some big stiff cock!