Miley Cyrus apparently does office parties now

November 24th, 2008 // 58 Comments

Great news, folks. Ever wanted to rent Miley Cyrus for your office Christmas party but thought she’d be too classy to show up? Well, Feliz Navidad, motherfuckers! Dreams do come true. The Houston Chronicle reports:

Tweendom’s reigning queen is the star performer at the Lanier Law Firm’s “Christmas Cheers and Charity” party. The annual event will be held next month at the ranch home of Houston lawyer Mark Lanier and his wife, Becky.
The family-friendly extravaganza boasts “Texas Bar-B-Q, fajitas and amusements” on the colorful invitation, which includes a pop-up Cyrus sharing the stage with a guitar-wielding Santa and singing elves.

Oh, wow, fajitas. Because those totally make it less creepy that a bunch of Texas lawyers rented out Miley Cyrus for their own personal concert. No, really, I’m serious. All you mothers out there, tell your daughters to never stop following their hearts because, one day, with enough hard work and mascara they too can wear a mini skirt and dance for Bob in Accounting. Don’t stop believing!

Photos: WENN
superficial

  1. Annonyononymouse

    buncha pedo’z

  2. Ted from LA

    This should be an interesting train wreck to watch over the next four years.

  3. Well, isn’t that exciting (not really).

  4. I love fajitas!

  5. Pathetic Worm

    I prefer to rent a stretch limo. I work in a very small office with people who despise teen “celebs”.

  6. Spanky

    Wonder how much she will charge on the side for a lap dance or will that be a raffle prize given away or maybe purchased via silent auction. It is a fund raiser after all.

  7. guess what

    heidi and spencer got married last week

  8. Deacon Jones

    I guarantee he’s got a hidden camera in either the bathroom or guest room.

  9. Spanky

    A few Texas margarits in her and she is either going down on someone or she will be double penetrated before the night is over. Since it is a group of lawyers she will probably end up signing a release for the movie rights of it as part of the contract.

  10. Homer Simpson

    She’s squinting because for an extra $50 her parents will let you give her a pearl necklace. In a few years she’ll be in rehab, followed by Vh1 “where are they now”, followed by celebrity rehab with dr. drew.

    Hey dad, here’s my $50!

  11. pink elephant

    she’s unattractive… like a baby ninja monkey wih downs syndrome…

  12. Ted from LA

    Praying for Client #9.

  13. Tim

    Actually “Bob in Accounting” is exactly the type of guy who’d think Monkey Cyrus is hot. Bob has 3 fat, spoiled, ungrateful teenage children, a wife who crossed the deuce threshold after kid #2 and never looked back (or, never looked down and saw her feet), and he’s not at all sure he can continue making the mortgage payments without dipping into his secret whores-and-online-poker money stash. So, making sure he gets a good first-row low-angle seat and hoping Monkey wears a miniskirt and praying she goes commando is about all he’s got to live for.

  14. pat

    Actually quite a few people in the music business do corporate parties and private parties for millionaires. Very good profit margin. Especially important now that people don’t buy CDs anymore.

  15. friendlyfires

    There will be blood

  16. Aja

    Seems tacky, but meh, leave her alone already, she’s sixteen.

  17. Deacon Jones

    I would love to be a fly on the wall at this dude’s house before she gets there. A bunch of good ole boys, slinging back some scotch at the basement bar…..hmmm I wonder where that conversation would go.

  18. koko

    How old are these people?!?!?!!? What the fuck?

  19. Richard McBeef

    She is an ugly little pug. When she turns 18, I will completely stop masturbating to the cardboard cut-out I stole from wal-mart.

  20. Southerner

    Dey gunna smell her daddy onner.

  21. Matt

    Nice expression – I love it when the girl is happy and keeps her mouth open even after the first spurt hits her in the eye.

  22. Richard McBeef

    I hope she lets daddy’s load drip out before she leaves a snail trail on some 58 year old lawyer’s suit.

  23. Massa'

    She’s 16 so it’s about time for her first bukaki experience. Maybe a Dirty Sanchez since they’re in Texas. She’s gonna have so much drunk lawyer cock up her ass it’s gonna look like a broken Cadburry egg…..

    Is she old enough to get implants yet? She needs them.

  24. Rob

    2 years and counting…just 2 more years….yum

  25. yeeeah right

    Matt = mom! wheres my meatloaf!!!????

  26. Has she done a Milk ad yet?

  27. Randal

    What a drop dead beautiful smile you have Miley, you obviously get it from your mother’s side, although that’s not to say your father isn’t in you either because he is, somewhere.

    For the most part, you’ve made yourself who you are just by being you and that’s hard to find in today’s watered down industry of have-nots and wanna-be stars.

    You’re the real deal and it shows.

    Randal

  28. google user

    If you do some research you’ll see that this dude throws massive parties every year and invites families. She’s probably invited to entertain the hundreds of kids who will be there. Sorry, kinda boring.

  29. ummm...yeah

    If Randal HAD a dick, he could put it in her mouth…it’s big enough!
    Look at her in the first pic…she’s just asking for a big cock!

  30. Drea

    Our office is in NY and we received an invitation. We are not doing though. LOL.

  31. Ted Mosby

    She’s got a husky voice.

  32. fabu

    She is so beautiful and charming. She is my favorite. Just saw her on the millionaire & celebrity dating club ^^^^^^MillionaireLoving. C O M^^^^^^ last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that

    site.

  33. ChloeX

    I live just down the street from Lanier’s Ranch house, I drive past it every day. He has this party every year, and every year I swear that I’m going to try to sneak in. I sure as hell hope that the street isn’t filled with kids trying to get a look at Miley. I just might have to run them all over. ;-)

  34. ChloeX

    I live just down the street from Lanier’s Ranch house, I drive past it every day. He has this party every year, and every year I swear that I’m going to try to sneak in. I sure as hell hope that the street isn’t filled with kids trying to get a look at Miley. I just might have to run them all over. ;-)

  35. satansanus

    @#27….i know what u are thinking. Yum.

    @#20 LOL that made my day. Love it.

  36. Face like a frying pan

    Jesus, she looks like Roseanne Barr. When Miley starts packing on the poundage she’ll be truly hideous.

  37. I once attended this annual party, and the story (as well as the Houston Chronicle article) does not give an accurate picture. It is not an “office party.” Lanier throws it as a networking event, and invites clients, friends, business associates, etc. Most bring families, with many kids in attendance. They have train rides, holiday characters in costume, huge light displays, etc. It is held outdoors at Lanier’s house (estate), with lots of large party tents to house different activities. The concert is the centerpiece of the party. The year I attended, Dolly Parton performed. A year or two before, Bill Cosby was the headliner. It is always someone big. Many people there will have no interest in Miley Cyrus, but it will still be a very popular choice due to the number of children attending. It’s a good party if you can get a ticket, but not very newsworthy.

  38. Im not usually very superficial or mean, but this girl has enough money to get those horse teeth fixed so why not? I know Im not even close to the cutest thing in the world, but those teeth have got to quit.

  39. thesuperficialbloggerisafuckinggenius

    “Well, Feliz Navidad, motherfuckers! Dreams do come true.”

    fucking hilarious

  40. thesuperficialbloggerisafuckinggenius

    “Well, Feliz Navidad, motherfuckers! Dreams do come true.”

    fucking hilarious

  41. wheezer

    I hate her. But I love her dress.

  42. SueMeSushi

    SueMe sayz: I know Im not even close to the cutest thing in the world,

    We know. trust me, we know.

  43. Drago The Perv

    She is so do-able. I would assrape her 15yo asspipe and spread my manjuice all over here schoolgirl face. Mmmhh, Yummi !

    Oh yeah, the Perv is back !

  44. Drago The Perv

    #20, you’re a perv…… I like that !

  45. She was sitting on a broom-stick by accident.
    anyway, SHE ENJOYED IT, folks!!

  46. Spanky

    For once Randall got it right (#28). Miley’s dad is inside her allright. Probably has hot every hole on her body. If she leaves a snail trail left over from her dad does the guy paying for the lapdance get his money back?

  47. Parker

    Miley,
    As soon as you turn 18 I want you to call me. I’ll show you how to enjoy anal sex. No more of that nasty vagina stuff for you. Anal only after you’re old enough cause your ass was made for butfucking. TTYL

    Parker

  48. Elvira

    #44, you couldn’t satisfy a virgin hamster with that little inchworm pencildick! Face it, eunochs like you were meant to receive sex in the ass in a Greek prison. Leave the stiff-cock fantsies to those who have real cocks. Miley would yawn and ask if you’re about ready…..after you were finished!

  49. stung

    After dating that faggot underwear sniffer and being diddled by her nasty redneck daddy, Miley is craving some big stiff cock!

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