Miley Cyrus and her new 20-year-old boyfriend Justin Gaston were, brace yourselves, touching during church. Holy freaking shit! That sound you just heard was the entire Bible Belt putting down their Sarah Palin signs to start a Hannah Montana bonfire. Pfoosh! OK! Magazine has the details:
“Miley and Justin were really playful with each other,” an eyewitness at the evangelical church tells OK!. “And for being with her parents, they were extremely touchy-feely. Miley had her hands on Justin’s stomach. They definitely seemed like a couple. Her parents, Billy Ray and Tish, really gave them space.”
Of course, the real issue here is why was this churchgoer looking at Miley Cyrus instead of focusing on the sermon? Huh? Ignore the word of God much? I hope you enjoy burning the in the fiery pits of Hell for all eternity while getting eaten by worms, sinner-face! Oh yeah, and also, Jesus loves you*. :)
*Love of Christ not transferable to the gays, women who read, small children in oil producing countries and, by overwhelming request, Spencer Pratt. The Church: Hey, we’re not all bad.