Miley Cyrus and her new 20-year-old boyfriend Justin Gaston were, brace yourselves, touching during church. Holy freaking shit! That sound you just heard was the entire Bible Belt putting down their Sarah Palin signs to start a Hannah Montana bonfire. Pfoosh! OK! Magazine has the details:
“Miley and Justin were really playful with each other,” an eyewitness at the evangelical church tells OK!. “And for being with her parents, they were extremely touchy-feely. Miley had her hands on Justin’s stomach. They definitely seemed like a couple. Her parents, Billy Ray and Tish, really gave them space.”
Of course, the real issue here is why was this churchgoer looking at Miley Cyrus instead of focusing on the sermon? Huh? Ignore the word of God much? I hope you enjoy burning the in the fiery pits of Hell for all eternity while getting eaten by worms, sinner-face! Oh yeah, and also, Jesus loves you*. :)
*Love of Christ not transferable to the gays, women who read, small children in oil producing countries and, by overwhelming request, Spencer Pratt. The Church: Hey, we’re not all bad.
tehz0r | September 17, 2008 at 2:55 pm
first
longcock | September 17, 2008 at 2:56 pm
miley sure isn’t looking like a virgin anymore
it's me Fuckers! | September 17, 2008 at 2:57 pm
she’ll be knocked up next and everyone will be shocked
Moonchild_65 | September 17, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Nice hair extensions.
I wonder if she’s claimed to be a virgin like Britney did, once upon a time.
Jimbo | September 17, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Isn’t she 15? WTF is a 20 year old doing with a kid. I would kick his ass if it were my daughter..
Moonchild_65 | September 17, 2008 at 2:59 pm
Anyone else go to Chruch with that “just been fucked” bed hair look? I hear its the in thing these days.
Moonchild_65 | September 17, 2008 at 2:59 pm
Anyone else go to Church with that “just been fucked” bed hair look? I hear its the in thing these days.
Moonchild_65 | September 17, 2008 at 2:59 pm
Anyone else go to Church with that “just been fucked” bed hair look? I hear its the in thing these days.
Palin For President | September 17, 2008 at 3:08 pm
God hates fags. Therefore God hates The Superficial.
Mia | September 17, 2008 at 3:08 pm
Justin has nice guns! But he is too old for a 15 year old, but this is Hollywood for you.
Mia | September 17, 2008 at 3:08 pm
Justin has nice guns! But he is too old for a 15 year old, but this is Hollywood for you.
havoc | September 17, 2008 at 3:09 pm
I avoid church religously…..
.
veggi | September 17, 2008 at 3:11 pm
ditto dear havoc..
Megan | September 17, 2008 at 3:14 pm
Anyone holding a Bible looks dumb, but it’s kind of redundant to say that about someone who would date Miley…. Too bad he’s not the first person to mount this pony, I bet he thought the age was a safe bet.
You Never Go Ass To Mouth | September 17, 2008 at 3:16 pm
Miley goes ass to mouth.
Disgusting Little whore | September 17, 2008 at 3:16 pm
Damn Fish that was hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!
Miley is a slut and The Wonderful World of Eisner (formerly Disney) is morally decadent and should be off the air along with the other communist filth Nikelodean. Those people should not be allowed near our children. They do not share our concept of culture nor should we theirs.
Please go back to where you came from vermin.
It's Britney Bitches | September 17, 2008 at 3:16 pm
Miley looks like a homeless troll that’s been living under a bridge…and having premarital sex.
Sam | September 17, 2008 at 3:28 pm
Well, hopefully McCain will win and then die and then Palin will take over as President and get Roe v Wade overturned just in time to make Miley head into a back alley (should be easy to find in her neck of the woods) and use a good old-fashioned coat hanger to rid herself of her miraculous virgin pregnancy.
MightyD | September 17, 2008 at 3:30 pm
I’m sorry, I’m confused…is church a new hip club or something!?
What’s the bible?
I guess Miley is riding the rainbow…as in multicolor gayness with a pot-o-gold at the bottom…except it’s not a pot-o-gold, it’s just a feminine looking boy named Justin.
havoc | September 17, 2008 at 3:30 pm
If I were in church with Miley, I would be taking a taint measurement or something more fun….
.
bmar | September 17, 2008 at 3:31 pm
Why is homeboy wearing a cross?…what a fucking faker.
Slut | September 17, 2008 at 3:33 pm
You know you’re a redneck when:
You attend church in a wife beater, hook up with your very underage girlfriend and do this while at church with her dad next to her.
Amen
Ang | September 17, 2008 at 3:36 pm
She disappeared briefly while doing a reading from the Book of (blow)Job.
Ted from LA | September 17, 2008 at 3:37 pm
Man if we don’t get something more interesting on this site I am going to leave again.
DO YOU HEAR ME?
ryn | September 17, 2008 at 3:38 pm
GET OVER IT! She is 17, doing 17 year old shit. So tired of the media that keeps masturbating this over and over again. blaaahhhhhhh, go make an effigy!
Randal | September 17, 2008 at 3:39 pm
Congratulations Miley, I’m very happy for you that you’ve found someone that can make you smile and laugh. Life is a journey, enjoy yours!
Randal
membrain | September 17, 2008 at 3:39 pm
#22 Slut > post of the day.
amen
der | September 17, 2008 at 3:44 pm
#25 – she’s still 15. I think what you mean is that she’s doing 15 year old Bible belt fundamentalist Christian shit….meaning, she’s skipped the normal steps and gone straight to all the really perverted stuff.
Lola | September 17, 2008 at 3:45 pm
God smite these nasty bucktooth Hillbilly trailer trash…. Touchy feely in church???? What type of shit is that? Only stupid rednecks like them would do some blaspemous shit like that. And wearing a wife-beater to church? This faggot ass bitch should be wearing a dickbeater. Dumb bitches
And that gorilla-mouth 30 yr old Miley’s hair looks like she just gave someone some good brain. The bitch looks like she stinks
Hey Randal | September 17, 2008 at 3:49 pm
Are you happy that she is being molested by a grown man as well, faggot?
sexy brains | September 17, 2008 at 3:50 pm
Nice church outfits those two have on. Her hair looks like they just had a pre-church roll in the sack and he’s wearing a wife beater. NICE. When I went to church with my parents when I was that age, I always had to wear a dress and my brothers wore slacks and button-down shirts.
I’m an atheist now, but still, if you’re going to play all holier-than-though (pun intended) at least clean up a little. Jesus (ha, another pun)
Randal's a child-molesting BITCH!!!! | September 17, 2008 at 3:54 pm
@ Randal # 26
RANDAL, FUCK YOU FAGGOT
Judas | September 17, 2008 at 3:57 pm
You left out the part about Justin jacking off onto Genesis and Miley wiping it up with Revelation. But Billy Rae approves.
b | September 17, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Funniest, and most true, footnote EVER!!!!!
Brilliance.
Deva | September 17, 2008 at 4:01 pm
Glad to see she’s filling all the expectations of her. And by expectations I mean fucking slut.
I hope you’re proud Billy Ray.
minniememe | September 17, 2008 at 4:02 pm
between her big ass teeth and his huge adam’s apple, i don’t know which one to make fun of more
FRIST!!! | September 17, 2008 at 4:14 pm
I dunno, horses love apples..
King Asshole | September 17, 2008 at 4:15 pm
my my, there are a lot of christians on here today. i don’t remember Jesus having a dress code.
“Yay, those of you in rags and shambles, fuck right off,” thus saith the Lord.
yeah, she’s a as tight as a priest-molested choir boy’s butthole.
HankTheDwarf | September 17, 2008 at 4:19 pm
This bitch looks like a beaver.
Bubba Gump | September 17, 2008 at 4:28 pm
Gawd dayum he iz so good looking. UGHH DAH NIPS ARE HARD!
sexy brains | September 17, 2008 at 4:28 pm
I’ve seen people on welfare dress nicer for church than these two.
minniememe | September 17, 2008 at 4:34 pm
#37 best comment all fucking day!
JY | September 17, 2008 at 4:41 pm
The bigger question is why does this guy have a ring tattoo on his left ring finger?
Nation of rats | September 17, 2008 at 4:45 pm
This whole thing with Miley and her model is staged by Disney to erode morality, as usual. Just like they use Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens to make interracial sex trendy. Now they’re working towards acceptable pedophilia. Miley makes it seem normal and okay because she acts like she’s a mature woman. But just think about it. 15 is a sophomore or junior in high school; 20 is a junior in college. When I was 20, even incoming freshman girls were out of the question because they were so naive.
Sport | September 17, 2008 at 4:52 pm
Is that a wedding ring tattoo boy toy has?
What a fag.
sexy brains | September 17, 2008 at 4:57 pm
He’s probably married to Jesus or something. Ya know, like a permanent promise ring. lol
Sport | September 17, 2008 at 5:09 pm
Good call. He is probably a carpenter, like Jesus.
grobpilot | September 17, 2008 at 5:13 pm
Why is that motherfucker not in jail? You know he’s plowing the row. Well, I guess we are talking about rednecks here…..
Shep | September 17, 2008 at 5:14 pm
Meh, religion is just another avenue of control for the social elite of society. Anybody who doesn’t spend life being lead like a sheep can spot what horse shit it really is. My advice for people is to find your own path to god, don’t let someone tell you how to get there.
As for Miley and the diddler. Bit on the gross side. You couldn’t at least wait till she was 16?
pistolita | September 17, 2008 at 5:17 pm
#22- hahahahaha!! that was awesome! on point and awesome.