Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber’s publicists just doomed us all

I’m genuinely amazed this hasn’t happened sooner. TMZ reports:

The teeny bopper royalty dined together at Ari-Ya Sushi in West Hollywood, where the Biebs, 16, told cameras that Miley, 17, is “having fun with me.”
FYI — Biber’s loyal army of ladies is so territorial about their man, that one crazy Biebette recently sent death threats to Kim Kardashian just for taking a pic with JB.

How did it take this long for their publicists to pull their heads out of their asses and realize this is an instant gold mine? Then again, knowing how kids are today, I bet it didn’t come cheap. Miley got to make bird-porn because she’s “not a little kid, dad” while Justin’s probably still standing in the middle of a titty bar with his mouth wide open if he knows what’s good for him.

BODYGUARD: Time to go, champ.
JUSTIN: *pulls a knife* I live here now.

Ah, youth.

Photos: Splash News