Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber’s publicists just doomed us all

May 11th, 2010 // 54 Comments

I’m genuinely amazed this hasn’t happened sooner. TMZ reports:

The teeny bopper royalty dined together at Ari-Ya Sushi in West Hollywood, where the Biebs, 16, told cameras that Miley, 17, is “having fun with me.”
FYI — Biber’s loyal army of ladies is so territorial about their man, that one crazy Biebette recently sent death threats to Kim Kardashian just for taking a pic with JB.

How did it take this long for their publicists to pull their heads out of their asses and realize this is an instant gold mine? Then again, knowing how kids are today, I bet it didn’t come cheap. Miley got to make bird-porn because she’s “not a little kid, dad” while Justin’s probably still standing in the middle of a titty bar with his mouth wide open if he knows what’s good for him.

BODYGUARD: Time to go, champ.
JUSTIN: *pulls a knife* I live here now.

Ah, youth.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. dt

    bieber is a douche

  2. Rick

    Miley said she was totally comfortable with Justin, because from the front his hair reminded her of the back of her dad’s mullet…”just like lookin’ at him when he’s, ya know, down there” she said, drifting off into a daydream…

  3. wazzo

    Mark my words: Justin will be a fatty someday soon.

  4. y3n0

    fugly bird. and bieber doesn’t know what german is.

  5. Kathleen

    So how long until she crashes and burns and dies prematurely?

  6. Word

    I do that chick in the butt

  7. Biebette’s sound more tolerable than guidettes.

  8. Is this Justin Bieber even a dude? Miley looks more masculine than this Justin person.

    Whatever happened to our macho male musicians like Freddy Mercury? He knew how to roll. All of these new pussified musicians are just pathetic.

    Time to go rub one out but it sure as hell won’t be to that little tranny or whatever he is Justin Bieber.

    Later,

    Mitch

  9. James

    American skidrow trash. Please don’t post this shit no more.

  10. raff

    Haha. It’s cute the way you made Bieber look like he’s straight.

  11. Gweb

    @ #1 – No doubt. If he’s this big of a d-bag at 16, just imagine what he’ll be like 10 years from now with a couple of failed marriages, a sex tape with gay hookers, and a meth addiction under his belt.

  12. Anonymous

    The music industry sucks. This is what they give us.

  13. Mike Nike

    I’m actually quite shocked that the world and women are talking about some 12 year old looking snot nosed little punk. Has he even passed through puberty yet?

  14. supper girl mmmm

  15. wtf

    Who the fuck is Justin Bieber?

  16. Fraser

    I’d suck her feet and fuck her into oblivion.

  17. me

    she is not sexy. No matter how hard she tries in that pose, she is not sexy.

  18. Playground trollers of the world: unite! Your affinity for underage girls and boys is apparently accepted, even glorified.

  19. Randal

    This is a young tween match made in heaven.

    A young Miley who has been racing up the charts being mixed in with Justin, who already owns the charts, is an explosion of musical talent unlike anything the industry has seen before.

    Randal

  20. I suppose being androgynous as possible is the new hotness according to young females. It’s like Prince all over again. This kid has always looked like a little girl to me since day one of his popularity (few weeks ago). Maybe I’m crazy.

  21. JRS2

    What’s German?

  22. Jon

    I don’t know why I find her sexy but I do.

  23. Bunny

    Yeah, right…there’s no way she’d ever mess with him. Everyone knows 17 year old girls fuck 25 year old hot guys with camaros.

    True story.

  24. RoboZombie

    Her FOREHEAD!!!!!

  25. German

    #13 “The music industry sucks. This is what they give us.”

    No, they give us what stupid teens obsess over. When they stop obsessing over Disney nonsense, and non-talented fame whores (applies to Bieber as well), things will change – but only then. It’s a case of supply and demand.

  26. bar room hero

    mind controlled, illuminati slave.

    mullet – spawn never had a chance…

  27. G&T

    Did he borrow the tux from his dad?!?

  28. Tek

    @24 with that said, school is almost over… so it’s about that time to dust of the old ’85 z28. LOL ^_^

  29. Spencer

    Can I be the first to refer to them as “Justy” ?

  30. lol

    i see FAT GIRL ARMS. that’s a sure sign there’s a hidden fat girl in there waiting to burst out.

  31. timmy the dying boy

    That is a sex tape I sure don’t want to see.

  32. Time to go rub one out but it sure as hell won’t be to that little tranny or whatever he is Justin Bieber.

  33. I do not like miley but anyway she has a boyfriend. Justin is on my nerves hes a man Hoar and I like him and now Im going to tell people belive hes gay. Bieber Justin get a life.

  34. Jon

    Get ready for some more bad google translation copy pastes of people’s previous comments to sell some shoes and bracelets by people who don’t speak english.

  35. my life on the ROUGH list

    If Bukake even comes to your mind when viewing the first pic, let me know. I will personally hunt any perv down….I have cab fare!

  36. Vandal

    Does this make them lesbians?

  37. Haha. It’s cute the way you made Bieber look like he’s straight.

  38. NG

    OMG Justin. Now you’ll have to have sex with a girl!!! Homo.

  39. Some interesting information on cameras, thank you! I identified plenty much more facts such as this in excess of at this internet site

  40. captain america

    a bird like that is expected to look beautiful?

  41. Kea

    I don’t know who this Justin Bieber is, a lot of people seem to be talking about him…do I care? No

  42. NG

    Oh, and Miley, your face looks like a horse. Do something about that!

  43. Parks

    Nice rented Tux Biebs. You don’t have a tailor on your payroll?

    I had a dream last weekend that I was in a dance off with Justin Timberlake and Justin Bieber. Timberlake won. I came in second. I need to lay off the sugary pop culture.

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  45. justin bieber fan26

    no one cares about what these little fuckin haters say about justin bieber or miley cyrus believe these ppl are getting paid loads of fuckin cash their seeling albums and their getting thousands maybe millions of fans and what the fuck are all of yall doing not a damn thing but saying some rude ass shit. I advise yall to get off yall asses get like them and then you talk all the shit you want but other than that if you got gettin money like them shut the fuck up

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  47. Thanks very much for sharing.

  48. Miley is such a grown up now. She’s going tto be a little hottie when she gets older. She’s dressing sexy and acting older. Hope she doesn’t turn out like miley

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