Miley Cyrus allowed in public

May 5th, 2008 // 67 Comments

In a move destined to make Katie Holmes green with envy, Miley Cyrus was allowed to interact with the public on Saturday night. Disney granted her a brief reprieve from her exile for showing part of her bare back in Vanity Fair. But not without a price. Miley is currently scrubbing Epcot Center with a toothbrush. No foolin’. Pluto told me, but, admittedly, he sounded kind of drunk. People reports on Miley’s outing:

“I hope you had an awesome time,” Cyrus told the crowd after performing her set. “I saw a sign back there that said, ‘Miley, I’m praying for you.’ I could not be more appreciative. Thank you guys for all your support. Without you, none of this would be possible. I love every one of you and I could not be more appreciative. God bless you.”

Disney, of course, took numerous precautions. Miley was rigged with state of the art electronic surveillance devices that would send a jolt if she attempted to remove her shirt without the presence of a Disney employee or said certain keywords such as “Vanity,”, “Fair,” and “Annie Leibovitz.” However, Disney’s plan backfired when Miley absorbed 1.21 gigawatts after she asked for some juice.*

*Give it a minute….

Photo: Vanity Fair
superficial

  1. SlyAndTheFamilyStallone

    So…she’s not locked up in the basement of Disneyland Austria? I thought I read that somehwere…

  2. llllllllllllll

    first!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. M

    anti-semitism, ha!

    suck

  4. ljksadlkjfas

    cute

  5. epoiqewoiu

    first??????????

  6. kljsadfoiuw

    good!!!!!!!!

  7. eh

    haha at the sign some kid made
    like seriously like god gives a fuck about anyone ….if i was god i wouldn’t lol

  8. Bill_Ray_Cyrus

    My daughter is sexy… oh wait!
    That might be considered incest.

  9. Deva

    Uh oh. She’s wearing a skirt and showing some of her leg. Someone get me Hitler on the godphone STAT!!!!!!!!

  10. jakebarnes

    I don’t think a person can describe themselves as “appreciative.” I think they can say “I appreciate you” but “appreciative” seems like a judgment only others can make. Disney should lock her away again until she gains control of her rhetoric.

  11. Next stop… underwear modeling in Shanghai!

    #9 – Die you fucking can o’ spam. Then die again.

  12. Deva

    Shut the hell up Eliot. Funny how the author of the post mentions Austria (Obvious Nazi reference) and you don’t open your sewer. But I mention Hitler (I’m Jewish btw) and you freak out.
    Go look up humor in the dictionary you fuckin pedophile. See, I can make uneducated assumptions myself. And I don’t need to be a pedophile like you.
    Beat that!

  13. joe

    what a crawler this fucking bitch !
    She said ” i love every one of you” MY ASS, i’m sure she makes fun of her fans with her retarded dad!
    she is sucking up to her fans cause she knows that her Disney contrat may not be renewed !

  14. oh come on now… we’re just waiting for the next round to come out.

    btw – all her “growing up” pics are on http://www.shesjustbeingmiley.com

  15. The Kilted Yaksman

    Bleah. Shovel-faced hag. Just a few years away from flashing her vajayjay at the world and being drunk in public.

  16. Auntie Kryst

    Fools! That wasn’t Miley Cyrus performing. It was a replicant member of Disney’s secrect cyborg army sent to deceive us.

    Disney Corp’s. own private court deliverd swift and severe punishment upon the enslaved child star. She was cryogenically frozen and placed into the Disney vault next to ol’ Walt himself.

    Also soon to be placed in the vault, the “Little Mermaid IV, Valdez!” DVD. Buy buy buy now because soon it will be gone forever!!

  17. Bmurphy72

    She looks like Britney Murphy before Ashton Kutcher gave her herpies

  18. Mo

    *Give it a minute….

    …. dude. If you have to EXPLAIN your jokes? They lose the funny. :P

  19. Mo

    Oh, and #12? The AUTHOR wasn’t making a NAZI reference. :P He was referring to the guy from Austria who was recently caught for keeping his daughter locked in the basement for 24 YEARS and making her have six of his kids. :)

  20. Mo

    Getting your news from somewhere OTHER than the Superficial might help ;)

  21. Deva

    #14 I hate to break this to you, but these pics with the exception of the last one are obvious photoshop work. And there’s even some photoshop in that.

    Sorry to burst you……..load….lol

  22. David

    The writer here is so clever…Amusing to say the least.

  23. mimi

    WHERE is this Lindsay story?

    Gonna post it 2morrow when it’s OLD news?

    Lindsay Lohan to appear on season finale of ‘Ugly Betty’

  24. s.

    She needs to keep her stupid tongue inher stupid mouth. She is rather talentless. Cetainly nothnig special t look t either.

  25. s.

    She needs to keep her stupid tongue inher stupid mouth. She is rather talentless. Cetainly nothnig special t look t either.

  26. havoc

    Yep, she’s only a couple of years from a public taint measuring….

    .

  27. Anal Fistula

    how can someone so young look so awful? is it the Lohan gene? recessive in most people, but dominant in douchefucker privileged youth?

  28. Ted Mosby

    What kind of support? Did Annie Leibovitz drug her to make her do the photoshoot?

  29. They White Urkle

    Why does she keep making that stupid sign with her hand? Does it mean she likes to take it both holes?

  30. dotty

    i dont get the joke at the end, somebody explain? ps yes i’m stupid

  31. Now she’s laughin’…………………………..THEN SHE’S CRYING, bet?
    (btw: the britney spears story hasn’t ended yet.)

  32. yougottabeshittingme

    Sweet mug. Jesus.

  33. poot

    it is BEYOND stupid that people insist on posting “first!” when actually there are several people posting simultaneously.

  34. See, because you added the star after the 1.21 gigawatts joke, I can’t tell whether the joke is just the obvious Back to the Future reference, or if there’s something that I’m missing because you intentionally wanted me to think about that joke for a really long time.

    Needless to say, I have given it a minute, and now I’m just lost. :(

  35. Jan

    I’ve been wearing that same dress Miley’s wearing as a top. I did not know it was a dress! I thought it was too short to be a dress!

  36. M

    #31, 35 – it’s not worth explaining, it’s just anti-semitism

  37. Bill Clinton

    So Miley Cyrus posed for a photo for Vanity Fair and is chastised.
    Jamey Lynn Spears prego at the same age is a hero in the media!
    Holy shit kids are fucked up these days.

  38. Bill Clinton

    So Miley Cyrus (a mullet skank) posed for a photo for Vanity Fair and is chastised.
    Jamey Lynn Spears prego at the same age is a hero in the media!
    What’s wrong with this picture?.

  39. Stuey

    she should move to nickelodeon. I may have misspelled that. Anyhoo, they are all about some pregnant hoochy mommas on their shows.

  40. Dolemite

    damn, that’s one FUGLY jew! scare a nigga to death with that face. not sayin’ I wouldn’t take a poke though….

  41. kelly

    I believe the joke at the end about her getting shocked was because she asked for some juice, which could have been taken as voltage…

  42. LL

    Why the fuck are people praying for her? She wasn’t diagnosed with cancer. I wish I had the problems of the rich and famous. Miley can dry her tears of despair with the millions of dollars she gets paid by Disney. Sure, she’s a slave, but she’s an extremely well-compensated slave. And millions of little girls (and probably even more millions of pervy middle-aged men) worship her.

    Stay strong, Miley… you’ll get through this…

    Oh and “Miley is currently scrubbing Epcot Center with a toothbrush.” – funny shit. I would pay to see that. I’d pay as much as $50 to see Miley Cyrus scrubbing any part of the Magic Kingdom with a toothbrush.

  43. crotchtacular

    Sweet now there is still hope for a crotch shot. BOO YA!

  44. justifiable

    For fuck’s sake, kid, you are NOT Jenny McCarthy – keep your coated tongue in your mouth, it ain’t working for you.

  45. fucker

    Not only has the writing quality significantly declined on this site but the readers seem to have gotten lamer. There is very little actual humor left on this site. Go read posts from a year ago if you want to laugh… the new writer blows hard.

  46. 46 is a poopoo head

    #46 takes one to know one….sticks tongue out and runs around naked screaming!

  47. Bob

    My god, am I the only one who thinks this girl is ugly as sin?

  48. NY Ted

    You’ve got my vote Bob! She kind of resembles that back-woods-hill-billy-to-close-of-genes-look…!!!

  49. Marty McFly

    What the hell’s a gigawatt?!

  50. anonymous

    i dont get the joke…. did she ask for juice with vanity or fair or anni leiobvits in it? or did she take off her shirt?

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