A few months back, Robin Thicke released his video for “Blurred Lines” which featured Emily Ratajkowski bouncing around naked because she is a gift and an angel from God. I’d even go so far to say it’s the music video equivalent of Peter Dinklage hula hooping and should be spoken of in hushed whispers and awed tones. Except last night, the VMAs producers thought it’d be great to defile Emily’s legacy by having Gwen Stefani on meth twerk her lizard tongue in a nude vinyl bikini all over Robin Thicke which she naturally agreed to because everyone seems to forget Miley Cyrus has been vagina diddling onstage since she was knee high to a grasshopper. (Or 2010, whatever.) At any rate, below is her performance because 20 years ago Alan Thicke and Billy Ray Cyrus touched an Aztec skull at the same time during a thunderstorm. That’s the only explanation here.
And here’s how Will Smith’s entire family reacted:
In their defense, this is how incredible and now classier in comparison the unrated “Blurred Lines” video is:
And, finally, so you’ll never sleep at night because the lizard tongue strikes when your eyes are closed:
It tasteses your thoughtsss…