Hey, Miley Cyrus’ Vagina, Long Time, No See

November 11th, 2013 // 98 Comments

The 2013 MTV EMAs were held in Amsterdam last night, so here’s Miley Cyrus smoking weed, the burnout restaurant employee drug of choice, on stage after bringing back the Vagina Melvin (I’m treating it like a celebrity now.) for her performance because somewhere in her publicist’s office sits a Post-It note that reads, “Labia Every 4 Wks!!” And next to that note sits a computer with a spreadsheet created by a college graduate who had to calculate out how many iTunes downloads each lip generated and whether shorn-ness was a factor. He would die by his own hand over Christmas.

Photos: Getty, WENN

superficial

  1. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    Commented on this photo:

    Derrrrrrp.
    (P.S. You’re still not sexy, ya goddamn hillbilly!)

  2. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    She must have a full time waxer in her entourage.

  3. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s more than camel toe that’s…anatomy.

    • Dox

      Notice the gentlemen in the front row, slightly out of focus, with his head turned. Almost as if, in a silent plea to god to please unsee what he is seeing.

  4. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Squats and strides, Miley, squats and strides.

  5. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Can you see my clitoril hood in this?

  6. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    Robb7
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like an ass of an 80 year old

  7. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Better start doing some squats there babe.

    My ex was twice your age and you could mistake her ass cheeks for Coco’s tits

  8. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “Disney – You give us your daughter, and we give you a lifetime of regrets”

  9. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    ruckus
    Commented on this photo:

    “If we do discover a complete theory, it should be in time understandable in broad principle by everyone. Then we shall all, philosophers, scientists, and just ordinary people be able to take part in the discussion of why we and the universe exist. Heh heh heh… I am dressed like a q-tip, y’all!”

  10. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    Conclusive evidence that not only is she a douchebag, but she doesn’t understand the best way to smoke weed. Seriously, you make millions, you cant afford a vaporizer and liquid THC? You stuck in the sixties there, moon beam?

  11. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    Is it me, or does she look like a 10 year old boy in this photo?
    With a bad case of chest measles.

  12. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    We’ve located the tragic remains of Miley’s adolescent muffintop.

  13. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    The Paris Hilton Second stringer stains are never coming out of that….
    (I think I have finally found a joke that only I will get.)

  14. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    Paging Miley’s breasts…. paging Miley’s breasts, could you please report back to her chest, your party is waiting.

  15. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    Freebie
    Commented on this photo:

    How long before she gets chest and ass implants?

  16. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    Freebie
    Commented on this photo:

    Where’s her ass?

  17. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    Yer killin me smalls.
    Seriously, weed is something you respect. One does not simply light it on fire, this is not the stone age.

  18. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    Monsignor Nelson
    Commented on this photo:

    That thing could wear the magnetic stripe off a credit card
    … and the raised digits too.

  19. How long before this no talent tramp turns 27?

  20. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    Commented on this photo:

    She ‘s wearing a camel toe prosthesis. And a badly made one, at that.

  21. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    Jiminy Cryptic
    Commented on this photo:

    Dope smokin’ moron
    Don’t make me yawn

  22. “Christmas, Christmas time is here….LOOK AT MY TWAT!

    Time for hope, and time for cheer….”

  23. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    Commented on this photo:

    That is the worst ass on the planet.

  24. Seriously, who doesn’t smoke weed?

  25. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    mr sparky
    Commented on this photo:

    Fucking revolting. Put that shit away, you filthy trollop

  26. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    Phoenix
    Commented on this photo:

    “This ain’t mah brand.”

  27. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    Phoenix
    Commented on this photo:

    Mmm…ground beef.

  28. innit

    Ugh…how long until she ODs and we don´t have to look at her anymore??

  29. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    Phoenix
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s one long slit.

  30. EDWARD ELIZABETH HITLER

    I’d pay real money to have someone jump up on the stage and punch her as hard as possible in the tongue. No holding back either, just lay her out flat in front of all the fucking cameras.

    Seriously how does this cunt even have an audience? Who the fuck sat there saying “You know, I want to go see Miley Fucking Cyrus in concert where she’ll lip-synch a bunch of autotuned shit written for her by shit-hop ‘artists’.” I know drugs are legal over there but nobody gets THAT stoned.

    And the best part are all the Gloria Steinem wannabes out there trying to hold this chittering chipmunk up as some kind of feminist hero. So I guess all that suffrage, the 60′s, the pill and the sexual revolution was simply so some post-jailbait whore can shake her ass and make herself look like a complete fool live on stage.

  31. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    Commented on this photo:

    lol @ hannah montana still trying to be all edgy.

  32. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s gorgeous and has fantastic legs. also yaaaaay marijuana.

  33. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s so beautiful, man.

  34. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    o'chunt
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice stubble.

  35. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    Bob
    Commented on this photo:

    /SadTuba

  36. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    Commented on this photo:

    …so confused…

  37. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    mx3
    Commented on this photo:

    good lord

  38. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    mx3
    Commented on this photo:

    its a shame that she looks so thin and fit from the front and she has such a bad ass. i was under the impression she had a trainer and stuff

  39. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s a badass. Literally.

  40. Margaret

    I’d dig potatoes out of that thing anytime, but that looks like she had a labia-span pleat sewn in there to make sure there isn’t any doubt to where the gutter runs. Genius. Many exciting times ahead for us all.

  41. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s got a great body.

  42. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    Commented on this photo:

    I like everything I see here. Everything.

  43. Fancy Face

    In all of this, I’d be embarrassed to be Channel right now. Unless Channel has a line of Wal-Mart things they’re test marketing?

  44. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t really care for drug use, buy it’s Amsterdam so go for it. She really fucking sexy.

  45. Wow

    Someone. Please. Tell Miley she’s not pretty. She’s not sexy. She will be dumber if she continues doing drugs. I cannot wait to read when she collapses just like Amanda Bynes due to “innocuous weed”.

  46. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    Commented on this photo:

    http://www.sadtrombone.com/

    just click “play” and thank me in the morning.

  47. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    Amber
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t see any vaginas in that entire slideshow? Stop bitching. Miley’s perfect.

  48. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    Frenchie
    Commented on this photo:

    Hugh Hefner is looking pretty good these days

  49. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    Becca
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s great. It’s brave going on stage in this outfit. Every other celebrity would wear some kind of stockings underneath.

  50. Miley Cyrus Vagina Weed EMAs
    ruckus
    Commented on this photo:

    fyi, that was a stephen hawking quote :) Last thing I want is a master genius cyborg pissed at me.

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