Miley Cyrus’ Dang Ol’ Gluten Algae Worked Fast

April 26th, 2012 // 34 Comments

Back in November, Miley Cyrus suddenly became the Twitter advocate for curvy women everywhere after some outlets commented on her weight. This is what she wrote, according to ABC News:

On Nov. 11 the teen star posted a photo of an emaciated woman alongside a Tweet to her more than three million followers, writing, “By calling girls like me fat, this is what you’re doing to other people.”
She added, “I love MYSELF & if you could say the same… I don’t wanna be shaped like a girl I LOVE being shaped like a WOMAN & trust me ladies your man won’t mind either.”
Cyrus also shared a snapshot of blonde bombshell Marilyn Monroe with the caption, “Proof that you can be adored by thousands of men even when your thighs touch.”

All of it sounded very empowering and clearly the words of a young woman completely confident with her body encouraging others to embrace their curves. Which is why Miley’s next course of action was to immediately shed those curves by presumably starving herself and constantly doing Pilates (As seen here, here, here, here, here and here) then blaming her sudden weight loss on a gluten allergy:

For everyone calling me anorexic I have a gluten and lactose allergy. It’s not about weight it’s about health. Gluten is crapppp anyway!

So here is she yesterday leaving Pilates class where I’m pretty sure her thighs couldn’t touch if her daddy was pushin’ ‘em together like two kin at a tractor pull. So sorry, fatties, but Miley’s squirrel needs its helpin’ of Australian sausage. You know how hunger works.

Photos: Fame/Flynet, WENN


  1. EricLr

    She’s my Hollywood hero. Saving lives whenever it’s convenient for her, providing it in no way hurts her career or requires any sacrifice or effort of any kind. She’s off to save the world. Up Up and Away!!!

  2. DeucePickle

    My ex has celiac disease and she once told me that there was no way she could ever eat a penis cake.

  3. Was it just coincidence that this is the ad I got for this post about anorexia and curves and women’s body images…or is American Apparel that sophisticated in matching their products to the page content?


  4. Cock Dr

    Pumpkinhead just ain’t the Pumpkinhead that we know and love without that big puffy muffintop.

  5. Roman

    If you refuse to stop working out and dieting so hard, at least give us a sex tape so we can see!!!

  6. regrifter

    Yes, gluten is total crap. This explains why human society died off around 9999 years ago when neolithic white trash in Mesopotamia realized that the bread they’d invented the year before was dang makin’ thar thighs get all fat and gross, y’all.

  7. claire

    I can’t have gluten or diary– and weight loss is not some natural byproduct of eliminating it from your diet. Gluten free items are usually very high in fat. The excuse just doesn’t fit.

    • I eat gluten-free and the products I buy are not high in fat. My sister has celiac’s disease and since it’s usually a genetic thing, I decided to go on the diet. The test is about 2k and I don’t have that kind of money.

      I lost about 20 pounds in 3 months. My sister’s was more dramatic; she lost 100 in a year.

      • Clarence Beeks

        If your sister lost 100 lbs, then Celiac Disease was not her only problem.

        But J Love Hewitt pulled the same shit claiming she was proud of her body, then went and lost a bunch of weight. Miley, looks great now, but if she loses any more weight she will look sick.

      • dooood

        metabolism also changes dramatically as you get older

      • Clarence Beeks

        I am 41, and have never had a weight problem in my life. I am still in great shape. Because I have EXERCISED my entire life. Yes, metabolism slows for sure, but you can fight that. Juts MOVE.

  8. Miley Cyrus Skinny Tight Jeans Pilates
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t wait until she does porn.

  9. Erica

    lol at health excuses for your skinny pursuit. oldest trick in the book.

  10. fuckshit


  11. SeeAlice

    Miley looks great . Whats the problem ?

    • Fresh Tuna

      If you accept her first defending being “curvy” then transforming into an ironing board to keep her Australian beefcake from trading up then nothing.

  12. It’s not any suprise she is full of shit. “Be proud of your curves ladies , I’m getting rid of mine.” i don’t mean to offend, but people need to stop taking what celebrities her age say seriously.


    She’s got a gluten allergy huh? hmmm pretty sure the bitch is lying…

  14. kimmykimkim

    Where’s the McBeef when you need him to tell you how bad gluten allergies can really be? I’m not googling that shit, that would involve using my attention span scotch tape. ;o) I don’t have a gluten allergy but I did have gluten free pizza once and didn’t feel like a farty mess later, so that’s always a plus if you can avoid that.

  15. Burt

    Was that penis cake made with glutten-free flower and lactose-free dairy?

    • Burt

      Gees, I was in such a hurry to type that one that I didn’t notice the two spelling mistakes…or the fact that Phish had already made a similar joke. :(

  16. Ollie

    The average sized Australian sausage would split her buns in half.

  17. this trashy broad is fuckin gross. she has those weird, scrawny legs and those calves that are thicker than her thighs. and the cankles are gross too.
    she has really bad genetics.
    people that think she is hot probably like amputee porn.

  18. gregg

    still ugly and stupid

  19. dropping body fat

    of course like your web site but you need to check the spelling on quite a few of your posts. Several of them are rife with spelling problems and I find it very troublesome to tell the reality nevertheless I’ll definitely come again again.

  20. luxx78

    she was seen eating a hot dog (in a bun of course) off a cart in nyc. im pretty sure the bun wasnt gluten free.

  21. herbiefrog

    hey fish… funny when your commentors can’t manage
    a decent insult cos the subject has done nothing wrong…

    …but still they try [fail]

    hey miley… you’re doing ok, looking good : )) xx

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