There’s a Miley Cyrus Sex Doll Now

April 4th, 2011 // 152 Comments

[Above: Skynet version slated for 2020 release.]

By popular demand, here’s the new Miley Cyrus sex doll with it’s not-at-all-creepy-product-name “Finally Mylie!” According to The Sun, it sold out within 48 hours of going on sale, so I believe I speak for a deeply concerned America when I say, “They’re all in Billy Ray’s End Times Bunker* next to the Corn Pops and taco mix. We attack at dawn.”

*Not a joke. This actually exists.

Photos: Splash News


  1. RoboZombie

    The Crucifix in the chain is a nice religious touch…

  2. Miley Cyrus Sex Doll
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m confused. What does the doll actually look like? These are just pics of the box and whats-her-face. I was to see a real version with it’s sexy, soulless eyes

  3. The Miley sex doll will also bite your dick off.

  4. RoboZombie

    Hahahaha! It says “3 Achey love holes”!!! LMFAO.

  5. My Name Peggy

    3 Achey Love Holes! Wow, I may have to change my name.

    • Please don’t… that commercial is fucking hilarious and needs to live on. This coming from someone who hates 99% of all advertising.

    • Jovy

      Oh I love you! My dad and I always joke about that commercial. I’ll call him out of the blue and he’ll say “Yes, my name eez Peggy”.

  6. ciner

    3 achey breakable holes

  7. DOucHe BaGELs

    Do they have a Billy Ray doll that can be placed in the corner of the room watching??

  8. Miley Cyrus Sex Doll
    Commented on this photo:

    So who’s the chick on the cover? Shes much better looking than Miley.

  9. The doll is actually much easier to have sex with, as it is mute.

    • dpbefun

      I disagree. I believe Miley would be much “easier” to do than the sex doll. I mean s#it, you have to put air in the doll.

  10. Miley Cyrus Sex Doll
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m a little tea-pot short and stout. Here is my ovary.

  11. Miley Cyrus Sex Doll
    Commented on this photo:

    see this folks: this is my money maker. okay so it’s covered in a diaper. but it’s my money maker

  12. Lindsey

    I spic #1 the real Miley? Looks very fuckable here.

  13. sick

    What am I missing here? It’s a sex doll, but the pic is a real person?

  14. Richard McBeef

    Billy Ray ejaculated in every one and they come sealed so you won’t have to lube it for the first time.

    • Bucky Barnes

      The “3 Achey Holes” description on the box is a nice touch.
      Billy Ray: “How’d they know that about her?”

  15. Miley Cyrus Sex Doll
    Commented on this photo:

    Somewhere Joe Simpson just made a note to himself….

  16. BrandiLye

    All 300 her closest friends and family are getting one as a gag gift. Bet.

    Miley: “I find it hil-ARI-ous.”

  17. Billy Ray Cyrus

    They got the anus all wrong.

    • Bucky Barnes

      A company spokesman explained that they couldn’t take accurate measurements because you were still wearing it around your dick;… Good for you!

  18. *Avoid treating doll roughly, as it just might blow up and kill this man.

  19. I’m pretty sure there’s been a Miley sex doll for several years now…at least a drunken, stoned, Miley sex ragdoll.

  20. If you think this is disturbing, just wait for the Hannah Montana version to come out.

  21. Found One!!!

    Thanks to stinky mcpoop, I’m constantly looking for armpit clits now.

  22. yespedo

    Billy Ray laughed this one off, stating “Psh…I’ve had the real thing…”

  23. I’m going to brew me up some ‘shine, cover the walls of my room in aluminum foil, order two of these dolls and live the hillbilly experience for myself.

  24. Miley Cyrus Sex Doll
    The Ugly Truth
    Commented on this photo:

    I would be more fitting if that microphone should be a horse’s cock. And I’ll definitely be buying this as a joke for my friend’s birthday next month.

    This must break Billy Ray’s achy-breaky heart. THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR WHORING OUT YOUR KIDS TO DISNEY MORON.

  25. Miley Cyrus Sex Doll
    The Ugly Truth
    Commented on this photo:

    This must break Billy Ray’s poor little achy-breaky heart. THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR WHORING OUT YOUR KIDS TO DISNEY MORON.

  26. ptGunz

    Of course she is suing over this! The doll looks more lifelike than the real thing.

  27. Ted

    To maintain the authenticity of the blow up doll, the thin lining covering the box was broken years ago.

  28. Miley Cyrus Sex Doll
    Commented on this photo:

    wait, I thought she already was a sex doll..

  29. Miley Cyrus Sex Doll
    Commented on this photo:

    Atleast when you open the package you can be sure you are the only one to use it.

  30. cc

    Have to admit, in that particular pic she does look quite appealing. As opposed to most pics now, where you want to put her head away until Oct 31 and then put a candle in it.

  31. Miley Cyrus Sex Doll
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s probably a better singer, actress, lay and role model for young women than the real deal.

  32. Rancid

    My guess is that this doll looks like your standard cheapo (with blond hair) with the name “Miley” written on the forehead.

  33. I often think to myself, “Why do inflatable sex dolls always look so surprised?”

  34. jay

    that doll is nothing like the real Miley- it’s STD free.

  35. There’s also a Britney love doll. It’s a 200 lb., gel-filled beanbag with a hole in it.

  36. Gunther vanden Penis

    I used to HATE Miley. Now that she’s a dirty whore… I am completely in love.
    If I get that Miley doll, I’ll save a buncha money on watermelons.


    Let’s get the propaganda meme over with: *blah blah bla* LIEBERAL *blah blah blah* Obummer *BLAH BLAH* LIBERAL SHMIBERAL BLAH BLA SOCIALIST.

    About the best you can expect from Republicunt sockpuppets. Just be sure to mention “liberal” as many times as you can, mix and stir liberally–oops, I mean “freedomly.”

    • Jovy

      Why the fuck is there always at least one nutjob blabbing on about politics when the post has nothing to do with democrats or their spooning buddies the republicans? GTFOH with that shit.

    • Rancid

      Ironic that your name refers to a witty, intelligent movie.

  38. Miley Cyrus Sex Doll
    Commented on this photo:

    *First Love Doll ensured anatomically correct through Myspace.

  39. I like how somewhere between pic two and three they forgot how to spell her name.

  40. Gallo

    The lumber and trash in the background really make this photo authentic– proves it was taken her in her parents’ yard.

  41. Miley Cyrus Sex Doll
    Commented on this photo:

    3 achey love holes! How exciting!

  42. Nicotine

    I guarantee that Billy Ray Cyrus bought one of ‘em under the name Robby Stewart… because no one could figure that out…

  43. Miley Cyrus Sex Doll
    Commented on this photo:

    I feel like most of the people that bought that are hate f*cking it

  44. Miley Cyrus Sex Doll
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey from what I hear of her shows….this doll isn’t so far off

  45. Trousers

    If there was a demand, wasn’t it for the pics of doll vaj and nipple?

    Or maybe one of the lead singer of Warrant having his way with her cherry pie?

  46. Miley Cyrus Sex Doll
    Commented on this photo:

    must not forget the tv dinner rule… what it looks like on the outside of the box, will never… ever… represent what is really inside the box… (insert pun joke here)

  47. Silly waste of money, when you can make your own Miley sex doll so easily:

    1. Cut out an appealing picture of Miley (note: use a magazine, as cutting one out of your computer screen will actually damage the computer).

    2. Tape picture to sock.

    Voila!! Bang away! You’re welcome!

  48. Gary B

    This is just a Holocaust of WRONG.

  49. Gary B

    Good Idea is to but one fill it with Helium and put on some Hannah Montana clothes and VOILA, Instant Parade Balloon, good for HS Homecoming Parades

  50. Miley Cyrus Sex Doll
    Rather Dashing
    Commented on this photo:

    “She’ll Speak Into YOUR Mic!”

    Surprisingly good innuendo for a line translated from English to Chinese and back again, or the newest Asian sex fetish? You be the judge!

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