[Above: Skynet version slated for 2020 release.]
By popular demand, here’s the new Miley Cyrus sex doll with it’s not-at-all-creepy-product-name “Finally Mylie!” According to The Sun, it sold out within 48 hours of going on sale, so I believe I speak for a deeply concerned America when I say, “They’re all in Billy Ray’s End Times Bunker* next to the Corn Pops and taco mix. We attack at dawn.”
*Not a joke. This actually exists.
Photos: Splash News
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The Crucifix in the chain is a nice religious touch…
Love it! “This here outfit was dun approved by Jeebus, mah Bahble sez so.”
I’m confused. What does the doll actually look like? These are just pics of the box and whats-her-face. I was to see a real version with it’s sexy, soulless eyes
The Miley sex doll will also bite your dick off.
Hahahaha! It says “3 Achey love holes”!!! LMFAO.
3 Achey Love Holes! Wow, I may have to change my name.
Please don’t… that commercial is fucking hilarious and needs to live on. This coming from someone who hates 99% of all advertising.
Oh I love you! My dad and I always joke about that commercial. I’ll call him out of the blue and he’ll say “Yes, my name eez Peggy”.
3 achey breakable holes
Do they have a Billy Ray doll that can be placed in the corner of the room watching??
Win
hahahaha
So who’s the chick on the cover? Shes much better looking than Miley.
The doll is actually much easier to have sex with, as it is mute.
I disagree. I believe Miley would be much “easier” to do than the sex doll. I mean s#it, you have to put air in the doll.
I’m a little tea-pot short and stout. Here is my ovary.
see this folks: this is my money maker. okay so it’s covered in a diaper. but it’s my money maker
I spic #1 the real Miley? Looks very fuckable here.
What am I missing here? It’s a sex doll, but the pic is a real person?
if they showed you the real doll. it would stop the sales. especially one for about 28 quid on amazon.UK a realistic blow up doll would cost at least 200 USD.
These things always fall way short somewhere between the box cover and blowing the thing up…. we had a Jenna Jameson one in our freshmen dorm and it looked like the autopilot from “Airplane”.
We tied it to the back of our car with a rope one night and drove through town hammered.
..and whatever dignity you had left.
in college? none
Freaking Hilarious…
Billy Ray ejaculated in every one and they come sealed so you won’t have to lube it for the first time.
The “3 Achey Holes” description on the box is a nice touch.
Billy Ray: “How’d they know that about her?”
Somewhere Joe Simpson just made a note to himself….
that was awesome haha
All 300 her closest friends and family are getting one as a gag gift. Bet.
Miley: “I find it hil-ARI-ous.”
They got the anus all wrong.
A company spokesman explained that they couldn’t take accurate measurements because you were still wearing it around your dick;… Good for you!
*Avoid treating doll roughly, as it just might blow up and kill this man.
LMAO @ lyric reference…
I’m pretty sure there’s been a Miley sex doll for several years now…at least a drunken, stoned, Miley sex ragdoll.
If you think this is disturbing, just wait for the Hannah Montana version to come out.
I wonder if you go on Amazon or whatever and look up this doll, if the “Customers also bought” list has a Hannah Montana wig on it…
Nah, look close. This one is reversible.
Found One!!!
Thanks to stinky mcpoop, I’m constantly looking for armpit clits now.
so for now on instead of saying you want to have anal sex with some hot chick. you’ll be saying i want to stick my dick in her armpit.
You do know the clit isn’t in the anus right?
Hers is longer than Britney’s! Neat.
Billy Ray laughed this one off, stating “Psh…I’ve had the real thing…”
I’m going to brew me up some ‘shine, cover the walls of my room in aluminum foil, order two of these dolls and live the hillbilly experience for myself.
I would be more fitting if that microphone should be a horse’s cock. And I’ll definitely be buying this as a joke for my friend’s birthday next month.
This must break Billy Ray’s achy-breaky heart. THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR WHORING OUT YOUR KIDS TO DISNEY MORON.
I almost forgot about achy breaky hearts! Almost cried when I read this.
This must break Billy Ray’s poor little achy-breaky heart. THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR WHORING OUT YOUR KIDS TO DISNEY MORON.
very right (y)
Of course she is suing over this! The doll looks more lifelike than the real thing.
To maintain the authenticity of the blow up doll, the thin lining covering the box was broken years ago.
wait, I thought she already was a sex doll..
Atleast when you open the package you can be sure you are the only one to use it.
Have to admit, in that particular pic she does look quite appealing. As opposed to most pics now, where you want to put her head away until Oct 31 and then put a candle in it.
She’d have to turn and look at you sometime.
She looks like Amy Winehouse Jr. ( bandanna and eye makeup )
It’s probably a better singer, actress, lay and role model for young women than the real deal.
My guess is that this doll looks like your standard cheapo (with blond hair) with the name “Miley” written on the forehead.
I often think to myself, “Why do inflatable sex dolls always look so surprised?”
I watch family guy too.
They paid me $2 to use that joke.
I’m actually laughing at a joke from “Family Guy”? It must be cold in hell.
that doll is nothing like the real Miley- it’s STD free.
There’s also a Britney love doll. It’s a 200 lb., gel-filled beanbag with a hole in it.
I used to HATE Miley. Now that she’s a dirty whore… I am completely in love.
If I get that Miley doll, I’ll save a buncha money on watermelons.
Well done.
Just use a catcher’s mitt. It helps break it in.
Let’s get the propaganda meme over with: *blah blah bla* LIEBERAL *blah blah blah* Obummer *BLAH BLAH* LIBERAL SHMIBERAL BLAH BLA SOCIALIST.
About the best you can expect from Republicunt sockpuppets. Just be sure to mention “liberal” as many times as you can, mix and stir liberally–oops, I mean “freedomly.”
Why the fuck is there always at least one nutjob blabbing on about politics when the post has nothing to do with democrats or their spooning buddies the republicans? GTFOH with that shit.
It’s my doll’s body, ill do what I want with her.
Ironic that your name refers to a witty, intelligent movie.
*First Love Doll ensured anatomically correct through Myspace.
I like how somewhere between pic two and three they forgot how to spell her name.
The lumber and trash in the background really make this photo authentic– proves it was taken her in her parents’ yard.
3 achey love holes! How exciting!
I guarantee that Billy Ray Cyrus bought one of ‘em under the name Robby Stewart… because no one could figure that out…
I feel like most of the people that bought that are hate f*cking it
Hey from what I hear of her shows….this doll isn’t so far off
If there was a demand, wasn’t it for the pics of doll vaj and nipple?
Or maybe one of the lead singer of Warrant having his way with her cherry pie?
must not forget the tv dinner rule… what it looks like on the outside of the box, will never… ever… represent what is really inside the box… (insert pun joke here)
Silly waste of money, when you can make your own Miley sex doll so easily:
1. Cut out an appealing picture of Miley (note: use a magazine, as cutting one out of your computer screen will actually damage the computer).
2. Tape picture to sock.
Voila!! Bang away! You’re welcome!
I recommend stealing a cardboard cut out from mcdonalds
This is just a Holocaust of WRONG.
If that were true it would just be a hoax.
Good Idea is to but one fill it with Helium and put on some Hannah Montana clothes and VOILA, Instant Parade Balloon, good for HS Homecoming Parades
“She’ll Speak Into YOUR Mic!”
Surprisingly good innuendo for a line translated from English to Chinese and back again, or the newest Asian sex fetish? You be the judge!
It’s neither, dumbass.