Miley Cyrus Might Be TIME’s Person Of The Year

The Superficial | December 2, 2013 - 11:20 am

Seen here destroying Christmas with her doodle-penis for Love magazine (Tell Sarah Palin to have her gun and chopper ready.), Miley Cyrus apparently could be named TIME’s Person of the Year because humanity can’t be trusted with the Internet anymore, so shut it off. Everybody shut it off. We’re going back to faxes. Entertainment Weekly reports:

In the poll, Miley is way ahead of NSA leaker Edward Snowden (9.4 percent), firmly beating Russian President Vladimir Putin (4.4 percent) and utterly taking a wrecking ball to Pope Francis (1.1 percent). As for our own President Obama (0.8 percent), he might want to avoid looking at this poll altogether — or try dry-humping teddy bears while half naked on an awards show to improve his ranking.

Of course, some might say that people like me are to blame for this perpetual dumbing down of society. To which I say… *grabs bag of money, runs out door*