What’s That Dangone Miley Cyrus Gotten Herself Into Now?

October 24th, 2013 // 37 Comments
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For a brief second there, it seemed like Miley Cyrus had finally learned how to properly contain her ass and tongue ushering forth a new age where one was free to peruse the Internet without fear of Mulletspawns licking their way through the virtual world into our own. Except here she is at a bar in New York with her new boyfriend where she tweeted something about “turnt” shit because rednecks murder English good, y’all:

So it’s true. If you turn the lights off and look into a mirror and say #turndown4WHAT 3 times fast shit gets TURNT.

Which is awesome because if there’s one story that always ends well in Hollywood, it’s one that starts with a child star spouting crazy on Twitter. “Cinderella-esque,” I believe I heard it described.

Photos: Getty, Splash News


  1. cc

    Geez, looks like she’s about to get the Kristen Stewart treatment, only in a bar…which sounds about right for our little hillbilly tart.

  2. Is there any way to get her to look into a mirror and say “Candyman” five times?

  3. Fish, that isn’t Redneck. You can converse with Rednecks as easily as with a Cockney Englishman, with the same number of minor linguistic hurdles. She is using some yet-to-be acknowledged hillbilly/hip-hop variant (Hillhopbilly? Hopbilly?) of the language which is going to take some dedicated graduate students years to decipher.

    • Inner Retard

      Maybe for the first time we heard the chipmunk language spoken in public. Scientists have theorized about its existance for decades. Meanwhile the secret society of chipmunks just went: FUCK!

    • yeah, i googled up the hashtag and some asshole DJ calling himself “Mr. Turnt Up”

      I don’t understand it and don’t want to. Mostly just concerned that I’m losing my ability to speak redneck.

    • Dox

      I believe its called HopABilly. Which is actually the bastard child of Drunkenese, Ebonics, and Hillbilly, all mixed together and swerved with thick drizzle of southern drawl.

      I think I just made myself hungry.

  4. anonymous

    Looks like Billy Ray is getting that candy again.

  5. Am I officially old because I am trying to decipher that bullshit that came out of her mouth and still have no idea what she meant? She is ultra-annoying.

  6. inkydinky

    bitch looks possessed.

  7. inkydinky

    why don’t these bar/clubs ever get into trouble for serving alcohol to minors?

    • Drew

      The same reason these fuckwits can pretty much get away with murder. Because celebrities are above the law. Duh.

    • D-chi

      I’m p sure Beiber got kicked out of a 21+ club a few months ago. At least we still have that to cling to.

  8. Miley Cyrus Star Nipple Pasties See Through Shirt Torn Pants Bangerz Album Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that a cum stain on her shirt?


    Man that is one lucky dude to get between Miley Cyrus thighs!!!

  10. I’m pretty sure she has started working on her coke binge.

  11. Miley Cyrus Star Nipple Pasties See Through Shirt Torn Pants Bangerz Album Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    stop going to sites with her pic….like this one.

  12. Skibbidy post-it Belgian rolodex bare-knuckle telephone wakka wakka label question mark.

    Your move, Miss Cyrus.

  13. Dox

    First I thought this was a still from Paranormal 5.

  14. miley

    so we’re pretending like there isn’t a big pile of coke next to her?

  15. EnglishTeacherAnni

    Oh God, the tongue came loose again. Hold on a sec, let me go get my stapler.

  16. Miley Cyrus Star Nipple Pasties See Through Shirt Torn Pants Bangerz Album Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    Wonder how much I could get for a photo without her tongue out? That’s got to be worth a fortune!

  17. jay

    that is actually her best friend/ personal assistant. she has him follow her everywhere and, lucky him, her gets paid for it. I believe he is actually gay. definitely not her “new boyfriend”.

  18. CJ828

    Jay is right… That’s her best (gay) friend Cheyne, the one who called Kelly Clarkson fat on twitter, after she called Miley’s VMA performance “pitchy.” Pitchy straddling bitchy. Before you write an article calling some one her “boyfriend,” you may wanna do some simple research. Just sayin…

  19. ME

    She is such Trash! She realizes her 15 minutes of fame are almost over so she’s desperate to stay a topic of discussion by doing anything and anyone. I am soooo over her. At this rate she’s heading for a tragic ending like many of the other has-been child stars. Her parents need to step in and give her some direction because she is truly lost!

  20. D-chi

    What is this turnt? It sounds contagious.

  21. I’m weighing the odds of catching a disease by fucking a bunch of these women who everyone alleges have STD’s and I’m thinking: What with medical advances being made daily, I’ll bet I could bang at least Miley, Paris, Kim, and Khloe and have a chance to be cured before the incubation periods have passed. That’s it, gang — I’m goin’ in!

  22. Miley Cyrus Star Nipple Pasties See Through Shirt Torn Pants Bangerz Album Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s like the male version of Justin Bieber.

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